Monday, November 03, 2008

terrible threes

One of the things that we've noticed about Abigail lately is that she's really getting a grasp of other people's emotions and how to play on them. Which means it's lovely when she comes over when I'm a bit stressed and says, "Mommy, I just love you."

It's also not so nice at times. For instance, she's currently banished to her room half an hour early for naps because at lunchtime she responded to my directive to eat with her spoon rather than her fingers with the following: "You are mean. You are so mean. Daddy doesn't love you because you are mean."

So now, as you can imagine, I've got a super-high sense of my own self worth. Argh. And again feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent. I spend so much time praying for patience and understanding, but I have a really hard time not responding emotionally to things like that. I know it will get better with each kid, but I worry a lot about my first-time parenting skills when it comes to Abigail.


Sarah Harward said...

Oh how I feel your pain! On both this and the post above it! It's amazing to me how much a thank you means to me now that I'm a mom. Also, three's were HORRIBLE with Landon. I remember telling him we don't play with fire because our house would burn down and he looked at me and said 'I want our house to burn down, because then I can live with Nana.' He also at one time mentioned that he would like for me to die (or at least not come back) so he could live with Nana. Steven kept telling me 'He doesn't know what that means. He doesn't really mean it' but how in the world could I NOT take that personally? Luckily, he turned 4 in Aug and things have improved DRASTICALLY! So hang in there, and even though I don't think it's possible, don't take it personally. All 3 year olds say things like this (even if their moms are perfect, at least I would imagine they would...)

Meghan said...

I will pass along the advice I got from an older mom concerning the mean things my first-born would say to me "You just can't take it personally." At the time, I thought that was absolutely ridiculous. Later I understood that the mean words often were in response to something totally outside our relationship, and that they didn't come from the heart--even if the child thinks they do.

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