Tuesday, November 02, 2010

paradigm shift

The last twenty-four hours have been frightening.  I remember when Neil and I were first married, I was amazed when I realized how long it had been since either of us had needed to see a doctor.  Now it seems like the medical hits just keep coming.

On Friday I took the children to the pediatrician for the fifth time in four weeks.  We discussed all kinds of options to treat Isaac's breathing difficulties; at the moment he's back on the nebulizer four times a day, pending further testing.  It looks like he'll be on those treatments until the end of the winter.  We got yet another round of medication for Abigail's cough and went home.  I started on the massive pile project grading that will occupy me for the foreseeable future. 

We had a great day Saturday celebrating fall/Halloween/what have you as a family.  At some point, I hope I can find time to blog about it.

Sunday was rough.  The kids were cranky, and Isaac surpassed all records for sheer whining duration.

On Monday, I felt awful when I woke up.  I ran my normal four miles, and still felt awful, like I was coming down with whatever the kids had.  I realized I better push through and try to get as much done as possible before I got really sick, especially since the house needed some serious attention and we had zero groceries.  I started scrubbing the kitchen floor on hands and knees, threw up, and then went back to mopping, all the while thinking wryly about how much harder I push myself now that I'm a mother and there's not really anyone else to take up the slack during the day.

Then I started bleeding, and cramping, and all kinds of other awfulness.  I called my doctor, who scheduled me for an emergency ultrasound.  Neil came home and I spent the rest of the day in bed (after giving myself the worst headache I've ever had from too much crying).  Low point of the day:  talking to the department head over the phone about teaching next semester while muffling my sobs with my hand.  Not fun at all.  Also, the kids were miserable and cried almost all afternoon. 

The good news this morning is that the baby is fine.  Perfect and absolutely fine.  The bad news is that the placenta is completely covering the cervix, which means I am on very, very, very limited everything.  (I looked up placenta previa as soon as I got home and completely terrified myself).  The doctor hasn't yet given me the final breakdown, since she was still at the hospital when I was in her office, but the first thing the tech told me is no more running.  Which, while not entirely unexpected, is an awful thing to contemplate.  I don't even want to think about how much this is going to affect my energy levels, my mood, my fitness and weight (going from half-marathon training to absolutely nothing?  Maybe being allowed to walk?) 

So. 

I have to say that when I woke up this morning, I didn't even want to get out of bed.  I just didn't want to face reality.  I wanted to just slide back into oblivion and forget about all the grading, the breathing treatments, my flu, the house, the empty 'fridge.  I feel like we've just gotten lambasted health-wise lately, and I'm afraid for whatever's next. 

10 comments:

Kritta22 said...

Oh chica! I'm so sorry for you!

But I have to tell you that both me and my sister were born placenta previa and are walking, talking today. We didn't even stay a night in the hospital when we were born.

I'm sorry I haven't been around reading your blog. It's tough with 2 kids, I don't have any idea how you do it with 3+!!!

You're in my prayers

Ruth said...

It sounds like you have had a horrible few days. I'm so sorry and I wish I could be there to clean your house and go grocery shopping. I hope you can get more information soon. I would even read your kids the books I hate.

Love Ruth

Aubrey said...

I'm so glad to hear that the baby is okay. Hang in there Rachael- you are an amazing woman!!

Katrina said...

oh, rach, i am sorry! i'm so glad the baby is ok though. hang in there!

Jolena said...

Rachael, what a terrible few days! I'm also glad the baby is doing well despite the complications. Hang in there! You can do this!

Kayli said...

Gosh-- with the one paragraph about you crying on the phone I thought for sure there would be worse news about the baby, so at the least I am very glad baby's okay!!

On the other hand, I'm so sorry--man you've had it rough. I hope you can feel better about everything soon. Maybe things will have a silver lining that you'll be able to see in the next short while. Best wishes!

Jen said...

I'm sorry, love. Take it easy and know that you are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers. Do some slow yoga breathing to calm yourself. Hugs to you and your sweet family. Love, Aunt Pam & Uncle Kevin

Rachael said...

Thank you all for your kind comments and your prayers--I really appreciate both. Especially the prayers.

Dani said...

I'm so sorry. I had a similar experience when I was pregnant with Brian, and it's so hard to be told to stop doing all of the things that you either love to do or feel like you have to do. I'm so glad the baby is ok. Hang in there. We're thinking of you!

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