Monday, August 26, 2013

depression update

So.  Last week was really rocky (okay, maybe the last two weeks) and I started to feel like I felt before I went on antidepressants a few months ago.  Panicky, overwhelmed by normal tasks, weepy, inadequate.  I finally realized what was going on when I started crying because the idea of getting the laundry out of the dryer was too much to contemplate.  Not even folding it or putting it away--just opening the door and putting it into a laundry basket.  It felt like it was literally impossible.

I called my doctor and she upped my dosage (I was on 50 mg; I asked her if we could try 75 mg before going up to 100 mg).  So far, so good.  I feel much more like myself and I was able to do all of the things I needed and wanted to do this weekend without being overwhelmed by despair.  I don't think I ever even came close to understanding how devastating and consuming this can be when I was trying to empathize with others struggling with depression.  It's just mind-boggling how quickly it can alter my perspective, capabilities, and motivation. And I'm so grateful for how quickly it can change back with those little blue pills.

**Photos of Isaac taken at my sister's wedding by my very talented uncle Fred


Jolena said...

I'm glad you got it figured out! Happy, healthy mom makes a much better family. Keep taking care of yourself friend. :)

aLi said...

Love it. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I've been in your shoes. It sucks. Love to you!

Meghan said...

So, so sorry you're experiencing this, but there is a wisdom that comes from it as compensation. I'm grateful you have resources to help you feel better.

Amanda said...

Thank you for sharing this as I have also been there. My youngest is 4 months old also and for the first time with her I had PPD. Anyway, thank you for being so honest and take care.

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