Thursday, September 26, 2013

procrastinating

So I promised myself I'd start doing some grading tonight (projects are due tomorrow and some students have already turned theirs in), but it turns out that I'm feeling in a blogging mood...so I'm giving myself 10 minutes for some stream of consciousness stuff.


  • Nathan is five months old today.  Wow--that's gone fast.  I need to do a post about this, but the short version is that he's eating (baby) oatmeal these days and moved into his crib in Abigail's room this week.  I may or may not have been a little weepy the first night he didn't sleep in our room (Neil, on the other hand, was celebrating and promptly disassembled the bassinet). Nathan still wakes up at 10:30 PM, 1:30 AM, 3:30 AM, 5:30 AM, etc. so I see plenty of him during the night. I'm not sleeping much.
  • I took Hermes to the vet yesterday.  He's not doing well.  Yesterday I thought he was dying and I was heartbroken (I held him alone in the dark crying for a long time).  He's a little better today but not much--he was really thin when we brought him home and he stopped eating and became very lethargic.  I've been syringing food & water down his throat every four hours.
  • Still working on potty-training with Luke. I haven't been super adamant about it like I was with the older kids because we are SO busy that we're often gone in the morning and he's not great at using the toilet when we're away from home.  He did, however, use the bathroom twice at the library today (our local library has tiny kid-sized toilets, which are way better than the terrifyingly large ones at the elementary school--we spent the morning over there earlier this week and Luke was petrified).
  • I love my life and I am so happy with my family, but I am SO overwhelmed.  I have no idea how to keep juggling everything I'm doing.  I've always been able to keep the house pretty tidy & spend quality time with all the kids & work & pursue my own interests--but right now I feel like I'm drowning in good, worthwhile endeavors.  I'm not sure what to cut out (I don't think I CAN cut anything out!) but it's pretty stressful. I wish that I could just spend time out in the glorious fall weather with my kids--but instead we're doing homework, cooking dinner, practicing piano, going to the library, packing lunches for school, doing baths after soccer and trying our best to keep up with what Neil has dubbed Laundry Couch (i.e. the couch where I dump the 5 loads of laundry every day and try to somehow get it folded before bedtime). I don't like how frantic I always feel but I really don't know what to do. I can't even begin to enumerate all the things I need to do (top of the list: do something with the 75 lbs of apples still sitting in my room.  Did I mention we picked about 400 lbs of apples and I've been processing those? And half the trim in my house is white and half of it's brown. And our lawn hasn't been mowed in about a month because Neil has no time & I'm exhausted from running).
  • Next week Isaac is having his tonsils removed & it's the worst grading week of the semester AND it's the last week of half-marathon training before I start tapering for the race (i.e. I'll be running 30 miles at the very least). I'm not looking forward to that.

    Hmm, this turned into a lot of griping.  Really, I'm happy.  Our children are so delightful and I love watching them learn and grow--they are all such wonderful little people.  Abigail, in particular, is really developing into someone who is so fun to talk with and I love being her friend as well as her mother.  Neil is, as always, my rock and I am so grateful for him and his selflessness every day--I can't comprehend how he keeps giving and giving and giving, but he does.

    But still, life is overwhelming. There are lots of big things going on and we're trying to figure out how we balance raising our young family & creating beautiful learning moments with trying desperately to get Neil every minute of work that he can so that we can graduate and hopefully focus on raising our hopefully-still-young family.  Truthfully, all I want right now is to spend a weekend camping with my family & come home to find that my house has been the "victim" of a team of magical do-gooder fairies.  (And I'd really like my cat to live.)

2 comments:

Melanie said...

All very worthwhile endeavors- good luck with them! I wish I could come over today to help you paint or fold laundry or process your apples... Hang in there- and Hermes, too!

Amanda said...

I only have 3 and often feel this way. You are juggling a lot and are investing in people instead of things. That takes WAY more effort. :) Im thinking of you and if I come across magical house fairies Ill send them your way!

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