Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Tottles is ten! (months)

My darlingest of darling babies is ten months old today. (Please forgive the grainy iPad photos, as my camera lens has been jammed for two months now and all the YouTube tutorials in the world are not unjamming it.) The giant iPad in his face also kind of scares Nathan, so he's not really smiling in any of these, but I can assure you that he is a delightfully happy little chap...Neil commented earlier today that he is the happiest of all of our babies.

Today I popped Natie in the bathtub for the sheer joy of being able to smell his clean little neck afterwards. Luke got in with him and quickly taught Nathan how to splash with his hands--you have never seen such joy! Nathan was giggling and chortling and SO incredibly happy about his tiny little fists splashing down in the water. He was so happy, in fact, that all three older kids came in to watch him and it was the first thing they told Neil about at dinner (in Juliet's words, "Daddy, he is the cutest little thing!").

We're still really struggling with Nathan-food around here. He is (sort of? it's all so relative and totally depends on the day) nursing these days, and sometimes he'll eat solid foods happily and sometimes he won't. I honestly have absolutely no way of predicting what he will like from day to day or when he will want to eat or nap or really do anything. I took him in for a weight check today--he was just under 19.5 lbs, and I ended up spending the next half-hour talking to the nutrition specialist and saying over and over again, "Yes, I've tried that. Yes, I've tried that. Yes, I've tried that too." I still have anxiety attacks when I fold his clothes and see how tiny they are and I can't look around at all of the other chubby babies in church or I start to hyperventilate. In the grand scheme of things I know this doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but it is something that is literally consuming my life right now. I have always been pretty neurotic and schedule-bound with my kids and really worried about whether they are getting enough to eat--Abigail had some digestive issues and didn't gain any weight at all between her 4 and 6-month checkups and the pediatrician made me feel like the worst mother in the history of the world (and since I was 21 when she was born I was already feeling pretty naive and inexperienced) and put her on formula right away and told me that nursing was inadequate and she was malnourished, and I sobbed every time I gave her a bottle for the next six weeks--so basically it's just really terrifying for me to have children who don't eat according to what the doctors are telling me they should be eating.

Moving on.

Nathan has two darling little teeth in his bottom gums and is cutting another 3? maybe 4? on the top, which has equated to a lot of restless sleep around here! We're hoping that final tooth makes its way through in the next little while. He is happily enjoying all of the new things he can bite with his new teeth--yesterday he went to town on tiny little slivers of (mushy) apple and thought that was very exciting.

He just has the most darling little face.

He's pretty mobile these days--as if he's determined to differentiate himself, he crawls around ONLY using his arms--he drags his feet behind him like a little otter or something, which is a fitting comparison because he was "crawling" in the bathtub today and I think he shocked himself by how quickly he shot forward! He's really pretty fast with just those two arms and he spends a lot of time trying to get into places that seem exciting to him (for some odd reason his current favorite is to go underneath an end table and just hang out there) and he is completely fascinated by the pantry. He is also a big big big fan of our magnetized 'fridge gears toy thingie.

And last but not least, he is now super super fast at moving himself into a seated position from his tummy--he often uses it as kind of a movement device so he'll roll over, sit up, tip over and roll again, sit up, lean forward and scoot around, etc. Pretty entertaining to watch.

I am so happy that we have this little guy in our family. Lately I have really been worrying about whether or not our family is complete (I know, I know, it's not something that I have to decide right now, but I still think about it a lot). There are so many things in my life right now that make me think, oh my goodness, there is no way I can handle another newborn knowing that xyz is coming down the pipeline--what about my other kids? Are they getting enough from me? What if my next pregnancy has even more complications? Can I give my older children the emotional attention they need with the physical demands of another young child?

And when I think about that, I think that we can't. But when I look at Nathan and I watch his darling little smile and I see him wave his hands in joy when the boys build him a "smash tower" and I see his face light up with happiness when we pick the girls up from school every day and they coo hello to him and race to be the first to hold him, and I hear Abigail singing softly to him over the monitor when the two of them are falling asleep, and I kiss his little cheeks and rub his fluffy head, I think...give me a thousand more just like him, because he is such a blessing to our family.

juliet at ten months isaac at ten months luke at ten months 


Neil said...

What a cute kid. I think he laughs easier than any of our kids.

Tia said...

19.5lbs sounds great to me! I know as moms we always worry about something. My son was a preemie that was failure to thrive at 4mo due to a severe dairy allergy. He was so far off the growth curve that even a 1lb weight gain at 4.5mo didn't put him on the charts. At 1yr he was 30" and 20lbs, which was 15%ile. What REALLY mattered was that he was hitting all of his 18mo milestones already, had 10+ words, had been walking for 2.5mo, and was developing perfectly. Thankfully we had a really supportive ped who didn't stress about weight. Be easy on yourself :) You're doing a great job!

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