Thursday, July 10, 2014

Grateful


































Oh, my friends. Thank you so, so, so much for your kind words--all of the emails and phone calls and messages and comments. I can't tell you how many times I have reread each one. So grateful for all of you and your support.

I am feeling much better. Still not totally like myself, but I feel like the adjustment is underway. Tomorrow I will take my last dose of Zoloft and I am hopeful that once I am completely over the withdrawal symptoms that I will feel even better! Right now it seems like the mornings are the best but then I start struggling with dizziness, nausea, and anxiety in the afternoon and evening (I take my medication first thing in the morning as prescribed, since it apparently causes severe insomnia and anxiety if you take it too late; it's delayed-release so I imagine that's why my symptoms worsen as the day goes on). Last night I just went and walked around Target for an hour (I had to get out of my house--and the library closed at 9 but I wasn't ready to go home) and I noticed that I was doing all kinds of crazy jittery things with my teeth and hands (fortunately the store was practically empty). Awesome. And yesterday was MUCH better than the day before--one friend stopped by in the morning just as I was thinking, "I can't make it until lunch...how am I going to make it until lunch?!" and another friend had my kids over to play in the afternoon and sent dinner home when Neil picked them up. I was so grateful--the chance to have quiet time alone by myself (I went for a quick run in the woods which was so soul-restoring and then picked up the entire house! oh happiness!!) was exactly what I needed.

And life is going on. Today the kids and I went to a science show at the library (dry ice! liquid nitrogen! exploding chemicals!). We didn't make it all the way through, but we saw most of it, and then checked out some books and whatnot. It felt like we were getting back to normal life. And while the kids ate lunch I made raspberry jam (easiest jam ever since you just smush the raspberries with your hands and presto, they're ready for the pectin). At first I was kind of thinking, self, why are we making jam today? but when I had the jars cooling on the counter I felt so happy, because it was something that "normal me" would do. 

Onward and upward.

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