On Saturday, I went to a stake enrichment meeting where we focused on visiting teaching. I left the meeting inspired to be a better visiting teacher, but really without any concrete ideas. I'm the type of person who functions much better if someone tells me something like "set up appointments by the 10th each month" versus "make sure your sisters know you are excited to see them."
So here is my question for you: what kinds of things can visiting teachers do to move out of realm of duty and into that of someone who really loves and cares and makes that obvious? How do you build friendships with the women you visit? What have your visiting teachers done that really made you feel loved? What can we do to really magnify the calling we have as visiting teachers so that we're not dropping by once a month and ignoring them the rest of the time?
And I'm leaving my story in the comment.
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12 comments:
I've always liked having my visiting teachers come, but it was more a "hey, time to talk with other women" thing. Until Neil was diagnosed with pneumonia last year.
I remember breaking down a couple of days after we got the diagnosis because I was so tired--I was pregnant, teaching two classes, taking care of an extremely sick husband who was forced to take time off school and work and could only walk a few steps before he was overtaken by coughing, and I had Abigail to take care of--I was totally overwhelmed. One night after I burst into tears thinking about everything I had to do, both of my visiting teachers called within five minutes of each other saying, "Hey, I was just thinking I should call you...what do you need?" and then they each showed up at my house later with the most thoughtful selection of items that were just what I needed at that point to keep everyone happy, occupied, and fed. And they brought me flowers. :-) I don't think I've ever felt so loved.
I also have to note, this wasn't just a one-time occurrence--they are/were literally the best visiting teachers I have ever had and I really think of them as friends, not just people who stop by occasionally and wave to me at church). I really know that they genuinely care about me, and knowing the way their service makes me feel has made me so much more excited to offer the same kind of things for people I visit.
I've certainly had mixed experiences with visiting teaching. I don't know what the answer is. Sometimes I think it just depends on whether there is that connection with the women I happen to visit. I love who I visit now and consider them my friends. Visits are a pleasure. On the other hand, my visiting teachers have only come once. And although it was a good visit, they just aren't very motivated to do it I guess. I do think getting it done a little earlier in the month has helped us, but I also feel I just lucked out with a great companion and fun girls to visit.
I felt the same way after the thing on Saturday. It made me think of a companion I had when we first moved into the ward, she's since moved, but she was the best visiting teacher I've ever seen. She would call me every month (even when it was my turn to make the appointments) and she would always call earlier in the month. She seemed to make phone calls weekly to the girls we teach, just to chat, set up play dates, or whatever. She always knew what was going on with the girls we taught. I've tried to apply this to the way I visit teach. I've found ways to be involved with the girls I visit teach almost weekly, whether it's exchanging babysitting, or having them over for lunch. That way the relationship is more of a friendship than just a visiting teaching relationship. It's hard to remember, and sometimes I have to write myself a note, to remind myself to make a call during the week, but I feel like it's paid off.
I love visiting teaching! I was actually trying to think last night of what I am REALLY good at, and visiting teaching was the only thing I could come up with. And I'm not perfect at it - not by a long shot. I often have sisters to visit or companions that I just don't click with and therefore I don't enjoy the visits as much. But they don't know that. I try to love them as much as I can, and even if I don't actually get to the point of really loving them, I put lots of effort into it and they see that and it makes them feel loved.
With my sisters, I go for lots of contact. I seek them out at church every week to chat. I call and invite them to go with me to every RS activity. One of my girls comes over every Wednesday to "scrapbook" (we just talk). Dinners are always a big to-do around here so we invite our HT/VT families over to share it with us and get to know them better. And I often don't get to my visits till the last week or two of the month, but I've been constantly talking to them about it and I'm flexible so I don't think anyone ever feels like I'm forcing myself on them at the last minute. Oh, and I always help with their kids at church if they need it and I know all of their kids names and say hi to them in the hallways.
I have the same questions you have, Rachael. And I always wonder how I can do service for them without seeming to put forth obligatory effort. I really want to serve my visiting teachees, and a lot of the time, I don't know how, especially when time is limited.
From your experience, it sounds like the best thing to do is just listen for the Spirit for promptings to action.
I think visiting teachers should make cookies for the husbands of those they teach. Every week.
Maybe more often than that
I think what I love most about visiting teaching and getting close with the sisters is doing things together outside of church or your once a month appointment.
I call one of mine or my companion to go to baby activities with me during the week, we've gotten together for lunch, dinner, game nights, I stop by randomly and drop off a treat, etc. That way we have the chance to become friends and get to know each other outside of the -once a month- catch up on your life.
I love visiting teaching and find it is so much more effective and worthwhile when that friendship is formed.
:)
Whatever Anon! You greedy cookie monger! We all know who eats the cookies anyway. No big surprise. ;)
I really think visiting teaching depends a lot on the people you see, not just on you. Sometimes things just click, and some people are easier to like. I've learned recently that it's those that aren't as easy to like that I need to do the most for. I just made a new friend that way. Good luck!
I liked crapo's comment. i am like you rachael, in that i need concrete assignments/goals to work with. wish i had more to add to everyone's comments, i think they've summed up a lot perfectly.
visiting teaching. sigh. you've found my achilles heel, rach. i don't have a testimony of it. i just don't. it's really hard for me to do it, i've never had good ones...it's just not my favorite thing.
rather than rant here and ask for advice, methinks it's time for a VT blog post of my own.
cookies at least once a week and a pie each month.
this is from a different Anonymous(s) than sagely posted the other times so you know it must be so--in the mouth of two witnesses....
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