Wednesday, August 29, 2012

because I don't want to forget

I think I've mentioned on here at some point that I've been working on an essay over the last few months (the collection of finished essays, titled Undefining Women: A Compilation of Essays from Mormon Women, will be released this December.  My own essay focuses on my migration from academia to finding joy and satisfaction as a stay-at-home mother.  Who is still technically in academia, but that's not really the point).  

Anyway.  At some point while writing the essay, I realized that I use my blog as a repository of the images and text that describe the kind of life that I want to focus on living--hence the sidebar quote.  My life is not blissful every day (and I think my blog does reflect that), but I try to use this space as one where I am chronicling the parts that are the "kairos moments."  (If you haven't read that particular essay, you should absolutely click on the link.)

I haven't been as good about this lately, mostly because I haven't been blogging much lately.  But as I've been sifting through images and creating posts tonight (and I really should be taking a shower, because I went running 2 hours ago and I'm still in my sweaty clothes!  Yummy!) I realized that there were many photos that didn't fit into a post, but were moments that I had photographed because I wanted so much to remember them, because they represented something really special to me.

So here are some things I don't want to forget.  
Lazy evenings together as a family, whether it's "fireplace night" in the winter or just braiding the girls' hair in the summer. 

The funny way Luke sucks on his pacifier with its bottom edge sucked inside his lip (funneling drool down onto his clothes.  Always).

 The day Isaac asked me to make him some "wall dinosaurs" and sat next to me for the ENTIRE process and then was so gleeful and excited and exuberant when we finished that I thought his little body might explode with happiness.

 The afternoon that Abigail collected an enormous pile of Isaac's favorite books, sat down, and read to him until he fell asleep right in the middle of The Caboose Who Got Loose (something that has never ever happened before ever ever ever).

Summer of the Tomatoes!  I photographed this cute little bowl of cherry tomatoes early in the year, delighted that we had so many at once.  A few weeks later, when we were lugging them inside 40-50 pounds at a time, and tomato processing had become a daily whole-family effort...well, let's just say that nobody will forget this summer.

Luke's bedhead and the majesty thereof.

 One night we put the kids to bed and went out to pick tomatoes.  Within minutes, there were three little faces looking out through the glass windows.  Instead of chasing everyone back to bed, we had the kids come out and (surprise surprise!) help pick the tomatoes.  Then we picked the raspberries and ate them while we watched the sun set.  Then we jumped on the trampoline until our stomachs hurt from laughing and we all lay down next to each other and watching the clouds drift into the twilight.  It was so perfect.

Luke, Luke, Lukey Luke.

And surreptitious Luke.

 Every day, almost without fail, Isaac traipses back and forth across the house gathering all of the pillows and making an enormous nest on my bed.  Then he tenderly tucks in each of his "wubbies" (lovies) and lays down to snuggle with them and read them stories.  It makes my heart turn over when I walk into my room and see the mess of pillows and wubbies and dear little boy in the middle of it all.

  Earlier this summer, when my family visited, I had a bit (understatement alert) of an emotional thunderstorm one day.  When we arrived in Michigan the next day (my birthday) they had prepared an incredibly elaborate meal for my birthday dinner:  creamy pasta with asparagus and fresh tomatoes, grilled corn, carrot souffle, eggplant handpies, my favorite salad, and fresh cherries.  I was so touched.

And, as always, on days when I find that I am feeling a bit doldrum-y, I pack up my babies and head to the woods and everything is magically better again.


Jill said...

Rachel! I love love love these pictures and glimpses into your family's life. Your family is beautiful and I love that you took the time to write about even just one picture memories. That's really all it takes and is so worth it. Thanks for sharing!

la Liberté said...

Great article about kairos moments! I really need to work on identifying those kairos moments and using them to get through the day. Not with kids, of course, but with marriage and school and life. And then just accept the hard work as hard work that will be great to look back on...

Elise said...

Your children are ridiculously good looking.

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