As I was saying/whining yesterday, it's been a rough week, and it's kind of continued in that pattern a bit today. I had enough difficulty falling asleep last night that despite going to bed at a moderately decent hour (11:23), I didn't fall asleep until about 12:30. Then I woke up at 4:30 and thought "I should go check on Abigail." Lo and behold, when I went into her room I realized she really needed a diaper change (quite unusual for her. In fact, I don't remember ever having to change a soiled diaper in the middle of the night, even when she was a newborn). Fortunately Neil was a bit more coherent than I was when I staggered back in and said "She needs to be changed. Should I change her? Where do we keep diapers? Is it today yet?" and took over the lion's share of the cleanup.
Anyway, point of this all is that I never fell back asleep again, so this morning while I was getting dressed to go to the gym I found myself repeating over and over "You just have to make it through one more day..." The morning went as mornings do with its ups and downs, but here's why I am suddenly realizing how blessed my life is:
I followed Abigail into her room after lunch to sing her the naptime songs, and I found her kneeling at the side of her bed with her arms folded and her head bowed, saying "Bless mommy. Thank you swimming pools. Thank you mommy. Bless mommy."
Needless to say, the naptime song was accompanied by some sniffling and lots of kisses.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
spa night
Today was one of those gloomy dreary days--lots of rain and a husband who had been asked to help another family move as soon as he got home. So instead of looking forward to an evening together at home, I was pretty depressed all day because I knew I would be "on the clock" for Abigail until about 8 tonight. And we have yet to have a single evening this week where we're both home at the same time, so I was pretty bummed about that and generally feeling totally drained and useless from a nonstop week that allowed for about zero down time. Honestly, it's been awful.
Fortunately, a couple of girls in the ward had the brilliant idea a few weeks ago to plan a "spa night" for tonight. I almost didn't go, because I was so exhausted, but I came home three hours later (I left as soon as Abigail was in bed and Neil was home) feeling like myself again. Hurray for facials, pedicures, yummy food, and girl talk--oh, the wondrous blessing of talking to a woman over the age of two (although Abigail and I do have good times). I am so grateful for friends, especially the new ones I make every time I go to something like this where we all get the chance to just relax and not chase our kids all over!! I really love being in a ward where there are so many different people at different places in their life--it's fun having friends who are ten or fifteen years older than me, since I learn so much from them and really love hearing their perspective on issues I'm struggling with right now. And now I'm really looking forward to our "pregnant girls" sleepover next Friday. :-)
Fortunately, a couple of girls in the ward had the brilliant idea a few weeks ago to plan a "spa night" for tonight. I almost didn't go, because I was so exhausted, but I came home three hours later (I left as soon as Abigail was in bed and Neil was home) feeling like myself again. Hurray for facials, pedicures, yummy food, and girl talk--oh, the wondrous blessing of talking to a woman over the age of two (although Abigail and I do have good times). I am so grateful for friends, especially the new ones I make every time I go to something like this where we all get the chance to just relax and not chase our kids all over!! I really love being in a ward where there are so many different people at different places in their life--it's fun having friends who are ten or fifteen years older than me, since I learn so much from them and really love hearing their perspective on issues I'm struggling with right now. And now I'm really looking forward to our "pregnant girls" sleepover next Friday. :-)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
funnies
While we picked up her toys tonight, Neil started belting out Billy Joel's "For the Longest Time." When he got to the "I'm so inspired by you" line, Abigail listened intently, then sang after him "I saw a spider by you."
And when we were reading, she gravely informed me that the Grinch needed a time-out for not sharing toys. Later she surprised me by saying frantically to the picture of Goldilocks: "Shoes off! SHOES OFF!!" when she realized that golden-headed miscreant had entered the 3 Bears' home without removing aforesaid footwear (she wasn't bothered at all by the breaking and entering--just the illicit shoes).
Oh, my funny girl.
And when we were reading, she gravely informed me that the Grinch needed a time-out for not sharing toys. Later she surprised me by saying frantically to the picture of Goldilocks: "Shoes off! SHOES OFF!!" when she realized that golden-headed miscreant had entered the 3 Bears' home without removing aforesaid footwear (she wasn't bothered at all by the breaking and entering--just the illicit shoes).
Oh, my funny girl.
Happy (sort of) anniversary!
Since I didn't do it on our actual anniversary--here are some things I love about being blessed enough to be married to you for the last 4.5 years.
1) No matter how early we go to bed, we still stay up way too late just talking and laughing. Remember that time when you said "instead of going out on a date, we should just go to bed and talk all night?" We really should. Maybe then we'd get some sleep at some point. Also, remember when the "slumber party" atmosphere got so crazy that we just dragged our mattress into the living room and opened up the fridge to fuel our four-hour talking spree? That was pretty cool. And remember this conversation: "what would you eat for a million dollars?"
2) We have these awesome road trips. So much fun. I wish gas would go down in price again so we could just drive around for two hours every night like we used to do.
3) I appreciate so much all the things you've tried consciously to improve on while we've been married, from little things like putting the milk away and always picking up your clothes to bigger things like pounding away at homework and "work work" until the wee hours of the morning. I sure love you for things like that, and I'm really impressed by your self-discipline.
4) It always cracks me up when you say "I was wicked today" and then you go on to show me something you bought. I probably wouldn't think this was funny if it happened very often or if it was things that were more expensive than Mint Chocolate Chip Jell-O pudding mix, but I just think it's funny how both of us have this guilt complex about doing things like that and immediately have to confess it to the other person.
5) When you sing the "supermodel" song and replace it with "mountain man." For the uninitiated, this is (I think) the song from Legally Blonde or Clueless--one of those types of movies--and the real song goes "I didn't eat yesterday...and I'm not gonna eat today...and I'm not gonna eat tomorrow...cause I'm gonna be a supermodel!" And Neil sings "I didn't shave yesterday...and I'm not gonna shave today...and I'm not gonna shave tomorrow...cause I'm gonna be a mountain man!" Priceless.
6) Your dancing. Not the dancing where you're at a dance, but the dances we make up in the kitchen at one in the morning when we both should have been in bed looong ago, but we've kept ourselves up talking to the point where we ravenously invade the 'fridge.
7) You can do anything. Seriously. I have utter and complete faith in your judgement and abilities. I know sometimes I'm a little silly about this, but if you tell me something will be okay, I quit worrying, because I trust you whole-heartedly. And I never worry about things breaking on the car or house anymore, because I have yet to see the problem you can't tackle and come out triumphant.
8) Praying with you. Every night. I could probably count the ones we've missed, and those have only been because one of us fell asleep at some ridiculously early hour like 8 p.m. I really appreciate how faithful you are about this.
9) The fact that you do the "right things," and you always remind me to do them as well. I really feel blessed to be married to someone who hasn't just made the right choices, but continues to make them, and doesn't even view them as choices. This is sort of unrelated, but when we first were called as Sunday School teachers together I admit I wasn't too excited, because our teaching styles are different enough that I thought it would be a source of conflict, but I really feel like I've gotten to know you in a different way when I see how earnest you are and how much you love and believe in the principles you're teaching, and how much you want to convey that same feeling to the kids. It's like I'm getting a glimpse of what you were like on your mission, and I really love it. But I love how I can see the kind of man you are through something as simple as listening to you teach a lesson to a bunch of fourteen-year-old kids.
10) The fact that I always, always, always know how much you love me. I love falling asleep and feeling your hand smoothing my hair back from my forehead; I love the fact that you never fail to kiss me good-bye in the morning and pray that I'll have a good day even when you think I'm asleep and not hearing the prayer or noticing the kiss; I love the fact that every single night in bed you kiss me, put your arm around me, and say contentedly "This is the best part of the day."
11) I love how excited you are by the fact that you're a daddy. It cracks me up when you cup your hands to your mouth and yell "Hello baby! This is your daddy!" to my stomach, I love the fact that Abigail runs shrieking "Daddy daddy daddy daddy!" when you come home and you dump your backpack and run towards her and swing her around in your arms, I love the fact that you're around not just for the happy times but that you'll clean up nasty diapers, spilled milk, toys, etc., without (too many) words of complaint, that you are 100% eagerly and lovingly involved as a parent.
12) I really appreciate the continued chivalry. You didn't just open the car door on our first date to impress me, you did it because you always do it (and remember when you opened Nate's car door because you were so used to doing it for me?). I was really touched when you told me last night "Honey, there's no way I'm letting you mow the lawn--it's way too hot for you." I love the way you protect me physically, spiritually, and emotionally (and I still really appreciate your willingness to clean the toilets at the bindery. What a guy).
Mostly I just love being married to my best friend. That's you.
Monday, June 25, 2007
our little helper
Tonight while we were weeding the garden I was marveling at Abigail's staying power: we were out there (in the nasty muggy heat!!) for an hour and she diligently worked the entire time to fill "my OWN bucket!" with weeds and rocks. She is single-handedly clearing our garden of the many pebbles which we turned up when tilling it--what a great helper! She is also so careful not to step on the "tiny baby (name of plant)." It's fun to watch her bare little feet detour soooo carefully around each green plant.
Speaking of great people in our family, I was reflecting today on how much I appreciate Neil's willingness to take over the grocery shopping while I'm teaching. It often ends up being a bit of a battle of wills between Abigail and I, and I probably give in too often in order to prevent a screaming tantrum in the middle of the bread aisle. Not so with Neil. He calmly goes on and answers the shrieking with a "Nope, you're staying put. Eat your snack and stop whining."
I'm also amused by the perspective he brings to the mundane things I take for granted: today he told me that he prefers the grocery carts with the toddler racecars attached in front. I nodded knowingly and said, "Oh, Abigail does stay put better in those," and he said "No, I like them because they handle better--they have six wheels instead of four and the alignment wheels are in the middle, so it handles much better, and doesn't require as much torque to pivot. Since these wheels are in the middle, you don't have to apply torque, you just apply force in the left direction if you want to go right." I love my engineer.
We had a good time tonight in spite of the insane mugginess--Neil went over to mow our neighbor's lawn (her husband is deployed in Iraq) while Abigail and I went to get pesticide for the Japanese beetles which are devouring the beans. Then Abigail and I drew all over the driveway and ourselves with sidewalk chalk while we waited for Neil to finish, then the three of us attacked--and conquered!--the garden, which is flourishing in both weeds and vegetables after our weekend of steady rain. We had our first zucchinis from the garden tonight--super yummy and Abigail was quite disappointed when they were all gone!
Speaking of great people in our family, I was reflecting today on how much I appreciate Neil's willingness to take over the grocery shopping while I'm teaching. It often ends up being a bit of a battle of wills between Abigail and I, and I probably give in too often in order to prevent a screaming tantrum in the middle of the bread aisle. Not so with Neil. He calmly goes on and answers the shrieking with a "Nope, you're staying put. Eat your snack and stop whining."
I'm also amused by the perspective he brings to the mundane things I take for granted: today he told me that he prefers the grocery carts with the toddler racecars attached in front. I nodded knowingly and said, "Oh, Abigail does stay put better in those," and he said "No, I like them because they handle better--they have six wheels instead of four and the alignment wheels are in the middle, so it handles much better, and doesn't require as much torque to pivot. Since these wheels are in the middle, you don't have to apply torque, you just apply force in the left direction if you want to go right." I love my engineer.
We had a good time tonight in spite of the insane mugginess--Neil went over to mow our neighbor's lawn (her husband is deployed in Iraq) while Abigail and I went to get pesticide for the Japanese beetles which are devouring the beans. Then Abigail and I drew all over the driveway and ourselves with sidewalk chalk while we waited for Neil to finish, then the three of us attacked--and conquered!--the garden, which is flourishing in both weeds and vegetables after our weekend of steady rain. We had our first zucchinis from the garden tonight--super yummy and Abigail was quite disappointed when they were all gone!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Hungry mouse!
Tonight when Neil and I picked up Abigail after our date (we went to see Ocean's Thirteen. Pretty good movie!) she told us "Hungry...dinnertime?" Our friends that watched her had already told us she hadn't eaten much, so we weren't too surprised, and we ended up going to a Chinese buffet, since we realized that if we went home it would be about 9 pm before we had anything prepared for dinner and Neil and I still hadn't eaten.
Our big surprise was watching Abigail eat three full plates of food (including 8 slices of watermelon) and a dish of ice cream. We were actually sitting there waiting for her to finish long after we were done, and she was still asking for more food when we left, but the restaurant was closing. Hungry little kid! I guess she was having too much fun playing with my parents to eat much at breakfast and lunch...
...speaking of which, we had a really great time with my parents this weekend. We made a huge batch of fresh salsa and sat around eating it (and fresh cherries!) until about midnight last night--it's always great to just hang out with them. I'm so glad that we're close enough now to see them fairly frequently!!! And Abigail is especially excited to have them near. She loves loves loves her grandparents!
One lovely thing from today--when we put Abigail to bed tonight, she threw one arm around each of our necks, pulled us all together in a great big hug, and laughed joyously while she kissed everyone repeatedly. She is so sweet!
Our big surprise was watching Abigail eat three full plates of food (including 8 slices of watermelon) and a dish of ice cream. We were actually sitting there waiting for her to finish long after we were done, and she was still asking for more food when we left, but the restaurant was closing. Hungry little kid! I guess she was having too much fun playing with my parents to eat much at breakfast and lunch...
...speaking of which, we had a really great time with my parents this weekend. We made a huge batch of fresh salsa and sat around eating it (and fresh cherries!) until about midnight last night--it's always great to just hang out with them. I'm so glad that we're close enough now to see them fairly frequently!!! And Abigail is especially excited to have them near. She loves loves loves her grandparents!
One lovely thing from today--when we put Abigail to bed tonight, she threw one arm around each of our necks, pulled us all together in a great big hug, and laughed joyously while she kissed everyone repeatedly. She is so sweet!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
a letter to abigail in the midst of grading
Dear Abigail,
As I was carrying your stroller across the thistles of the shortcut to the bus this morning, I was thinking about how grateful I am for your happy-go-lucky personality. Most children would not take kindly to having spent 17 of their 26 months of life being dragged back and forth to a university campus every day. You take it in stride and never once complain that you don't want to leave our nice cozy home and all your toys for the vagaries of the weather outside and several hours in a stroller. I don't think I've ever met a child so adaptable--I know it can't be very much fun and there are lots of things that you would enjoy more, but you put up with it all cheerfully. And I am very grateful that you're a competent little runner--for awhile I was worried that all the stroller time when you were 4-12 months old would forever delay your development, but you turned out just peachy. Thanks for being content to sit there and munch Cheerios during Daddy's TA hours, and thank you for being content to crawl around chasing six toys in the tiny unoccupied spaces I could find for us to sit down in the engineering buildings so that you could play and I could prepare for my next class, and rest assured that we both deeply appreciate your utter lack of whining or screaming when we did have to take you to class. It was always nice to know that if one of us just couldn't cover for the other during that hour that we could take you along with all confidence that you would be content to quietly observe the other people in the room.
Sometimes I feel guilty for working so much when you are so little, especially when you sat on the floor under the computer playing with my shoes while I worked on my thesis. I'm sorry that sometimes I'm cranky when you wake up from your nap because I've spent the whole time grading, and I'm ready to fall over onto the couch when you want to go to the pool. Thank you for being patient with me and trading afternoons outside in the sunshine for afternoons inside snuggling on the couch while we read stories and I rub your back. I do want you to know that while it's nice for Mommy to make use of her degree, I am also working so that you can have fresh fruits and vegetables, clothes that more or less fit, and parents who are not stressed about student loans. That may not seem very exciting to you at this point in time, but I think you'll appreciate it more in a few years.
Thank you for reminding me every day at naptime that I should go "sleep on Mommy bed" so that I will have the energy to keep up with you afterwards. I'll try to take you up on it sometime soon. :-)
In short, what I want to say is thank you for being the kind of child that I can love whole-heartedly, who I don't even have to love unconditionally, because you are so wonderful and patient with me as I struggle to figure out this semi-working mommy business. I love you, kiddo--thank you for supporting me by just being you.
Love,
Mommy
As I was carrying your stroller across the thistles of the shortcut to the bus this morning, I was thinking about how grateful I am for your happy-go-lucky personality. Most children would not take kindly to having spent 17 of their 26 months of life being dragged back and forth to a university campus every day. You take it in stride and never once complain that you don't want to leave our nice cozy home and all your toys for the vagaries of the weather outside and several hours in a stroller. I don't think I've ever met a child so adaptable--I know it can't be very much fun and there are lots of things that you would enjoy more, but you put up with it all cheerfully. And I am very grateful that you're a competent little runner--for awhile I was worried that all the stroller time when you were 4-12 months old would forever delay your development, but you turned out just peachy. Thanks for being content to sit there and munch Cheerios during Daddy's TA hours, and thank you for being content to crawl around chasing six toys in the tiny unoccupied spaces I could find for us to sit down in the engineering buildings so that you could play and I could prepare for my next class, and rest assured that we both deeply appreciate your utter lack of whining or screaming when we did have to take you to class. It was always nice to know that if one of us just couldn't cover for the other during that hour that we could take you along with all confidence that you would be content to quietly observe the other people in the room.
Sometimes I feel guilty for working so much when you are so little, especially when you sat on the floor under the computer playing with my shoes while I worked on my thesis. I'm sorry that sometimes I'm cranky when you wake up from your nap because I've spent the whole time grading, and I'm ready to fall over onto the couch when you want to go to the pool. Thank you for being patient with me and trading afternoons outside in the sunshine for afternoons inside snuggling on the couch while we read stories and I rub your back. I do want you to know that while it's nice for Mommy to make use of her degree, I am also working so that you can have fresh fruits and vegetables, clothes that more or less fit, and parents who are not stressed about student loans. That may not seem very exciting to you at this point in time, but I think you'll appreciate it more in a few years.
Thank you for reminding me every day at naptime that I should go "sleep on Mommy bed" so that I will have the energy to keep up with you afterwards. I'll try to take you up on it sometime soon. :-)
In short, what I want to say is thank you for being the kind of child that I can love whole-heartedly, who I don't even have to love unconditionally, because you are so wonderful and patient with me as I struggle to figure out this semi-working mommy business. I love you, kiddo--thank you for supporting me by just being you.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
another night of solitude (I feel like a Gabriel Garcia Marquez title. Sorry, Jen!) Neil is playing basketball at the church--and I am SO glad he had time to go! He's definitely been happier the last few months since I haven't been teaching in the morning and he's been able to leave early to play raquetball or work out, and I am extra glad that he's started playing basketball again, since I know he's missed it sorely. I really should be in bed catching up on sleep, since I only slept for four hours last night, but our oh-so-beloved neighbor is mowing his lawn five feet from my bedroom wall (at 9:49 p.m.) so...
I don't really have anything exciting to post about--I'm just online, so I'm blogging. I did do a lot of grading today, so that was great! And I got to talk to Mom, Ruth, Elise, and Rosalind on the phone today, and I chatted with MB online (and yes, I know you said you would call, but I was still grading). Yay! I love my sisters and mom--they are a fun bunch of ladies. I read a quote somewhere a couple of days ago that said "A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be your best friend," and I think I would add in there "sisters are small annoying people who grow up to really be quite fun." :-) Just teasing, girls. You know I love you. And I really do look forward to weekends with my family as super big highlights--so much good conversation and food and fun! (If only I could have had that viewpoint during high school, right?!)
Today Abigail and I went to the pool again (every week I wonder...will I still be able to fit into my swimsuit this week? I can't really justify buying a maternity swimsuit for only seven more weeks. So far, I am quite grateful for stretchy fabric and tankinis that are more adaptable to changing shapes than a regular one-piece would be!) We had a good time splashing around, and Abigail especially enjoyed playing with her friends Elise and Mia. It's really fun to see how excited the girls get when they see each other!
I don't really have anything exciting to post about--I'm just online, so I'm blogging. I did do a lot of grading today, so that was great! And I got to talk to Mom, Ruth, Elise, and Rosalind on the phone today, and I chatted with MB online (and yes, I know you said you would call, but I was still grading). Yay! I love my sisters and mom--they are a fun bunch of ladies. I read a quote somewhere a couple of days ago that said "A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be your best friend," and I think I would add in there "sisters are small annoying people who grow up to really be quite fun." :-) Just teasing, girls. You know I love you. And I really do look forward to weekends with my family as super big highlights--so much good conversation and food and fun! (If only I could have had that viewpoint during high school, right?!)
Today Abigail and I went to the pool again (every week I wonder...will I still be able to fit into my swimsuit this week? I can't really justify buying a maternity swimsuit for only seven more weeks. So far, I am quite grateful for stretchy fabric and tankinis that are more adaptable to changing shapes than a regular one-piece would be!) We had a good time splashing around, and Abigail especially enjoyed playing with her friends Elise and Mia. It's really fun to see how excited the girls get when they see each other!
wheeee...
For some reason, all of the resumes/cover letters that I've graded thus far have been seemingly drenched in cologne.
I'm starting to get a little slap-happy, and the house is beginning to smell like we've been hosting a high school prom. Eek.
I'm starting to get a little slap-happy, and the house is beginning to smell like we've been hosting a high school prom. Eek.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Solitude
Neil took Abigail home teaching tonight, so I'm home alone for the first time in--I don't know how long. A very long time.
So (appropriately, as you'll know if you've read it) I've spent the last half hour reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea. I read it right after Abigail was born and I haven't read it since, but today was a particularly good day for it, since I've been feeling really drained and purpose-less all day. Sort of the "I know I'm doing good things, but they're pretty monotonous" feeling...so I decided to read this in my alone time tonight.
If you've never read it (and especially if you are the mother of small children) I highly, highly, highly recommend it. I don't spend very much time thinking about ways to replenish myself, and I've definitely been able to tell lately that I haven't spared myself much time. I love the point she makes about how this is something which is absolutely vital to do, since it is impossible to consistently give of ourselves when we have drained our wellspring: "we are aware of our hunger and needs, but still ignorant of what will satisfy them. . . .Not knowing how to free the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distractions. . . .she must consciously encourage those pursuits which oppose the centrifugal forces of today. Quiet time alone, contemplation, prayer, music, a centering line of thought or reading, of study or work. It can be physical or intellectual or artistic, any creative life proceeding from oneself. It need not be an enormous project or a great work. But it should be something of one's own. Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day--like writing a poem, or saying a prayer. What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive."
Anyway, this is getting a bit lengthy, but I'm writing in an effort to crystalize my own thoughts about how I need to actively practice some sort of inward focus. I tend to use my spare time to read myself to sleep or work on lesson preparation for the next day. So I am going to try to think of what things really make me feel rejuvenated and more like "myself" in an effort to continue to create and grow as a person rather than solely as mother and wife. Those are excellent roles, don't get me wrong, and ones which I feel delighted and blessed to occupy, but focusing on fulfilling them to the exclusion of encouraging myself to grow and adapt will result in a fairly boring person, I think. One thing that I really admire about my mom is the way in which she has kept her "self" alive while doing a phenomenal job raising five kids--I've never felt neglected and she still always has time to talk to me when I call, but she is actively pursuing her own interests as well--since I was born she's completed a graduate degree, taught at various colleges, published a book, continued to take college classes just for fun, helps to coach the high school speech team, and is in the process of starting her own business.
So I am now looking for ways in my life that I can spend a few minutes here and there doing things that nourish my spirit and mind: more time playing the piano, sewing for the peacefulness of the movements rather than to accomplish a task, spending time actually writing instead of just thinking of things I want to write about, reading more "intellectually" instead of the bubble-gum equivalent, getting up early to work in the garden so it's a peaceful time that I can relish rather than a sweaty task to endure in the afternoon.
And now I am off to read Leaves of Grass. Perhaps I will go outside and bask in the sunset while I do it.
So (appropriately, as you'll know if you've read it) I've spent the last half hour reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea. I read it right after Abigail was born and I haven't read it since, but today was a particularly good day for it, since I've been feeling really drained and purpose-less all day. Sort of the "I know I'm doing good things, but they're pretty monotonous" feeling...so I decided to read this in my alone time tonight.
If you've never read it (and especially if you are the mother of small children) I highly, highly, highly recommend it. I don't spend very much time thinking about ways to replenish myself, and I've definitely been able to tell lately that I haven't spared myself much time. I love the point she makes about how this is something which is absolutely vital to do, since it is impossible to consistently give of ourselves when we have drained our wellspring: "we are aware of our hunger and needs, but still ignorant of what will satisfy them. . . .Not knowing how to free the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distractions. . . .she must consciously encourage those pursuits which oppose the centrifugal forces of today. Quiet time alone, contemplation, prayer, music, a centering line of thought or reading, of study or work. It can be physical or intellectual or artistic, any creative life proceeding from oneself. It need not be an enormous project or a great work. But it should be something of one's own. Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day--like writing a poem, or saying a prayer. What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive."
Anyway, this is getting a bit lengthy, but I'm writing in an effort to crystalize my own thoughts about how I need to actively practice some sort of inward focus. I tend to use my spare time to read myself to sleep or work on lesson preparation for the next day. So I am going to try to think of what things really make me feel rejuvenated and more like "myself" in an effort to continue to create and grow as a person rather than solely as mother and wife. Those are excellent roles, don't get me wrong, and ones which I feel delighted and blessed to occupy, but focusing on fulfilling them to the exclusion of encouraging myself to grow and adapt will result in a fairly boring person, I think. One thing that I really admire about my mom is the way in which she has kept her "self" alive while doing a phenomenal job raising five kids--I've never felt neglected and she still always has time to talk to me when I call, but she is actively pursuing her own interests as well--since I was born she's completed a graduate degree, taught at various colleges, published a book, continued to take college classes just for fun, helps to coach the high school speech team, and is in the process of starting her own business.
So I am now looking for ways in my life that I can spend a few minutes here and there doing things that nourish my spirit and mind: more time playing the piano, sewing for the peacefulness of the movements rather than to accomplish a task, spending time actually writing instead of just thinking of things I want to write about, reading more "intellectually" instead of the bubble-gum equivalent, getting up early to work in the garden so it's a peaceful time that I can relish rather than a sweaty task to endure in the afternoon.
And now I am off to read Leaves of Grass. Perhaps I will go outside and bask in the sunset while I do it.
Part of her world
Abigail is really curious about everything lately--part of the trying to fit everything together and make sense of the world phase, I suppose. It's really interesting to watch, and although the incessant questions get a little crazy at times, she always makes me think more critically about what's going on and realize how neat the things are that I take for granted (for instance, this morning during a magnificent "funnerstorm" we had a looong discussion about how rain works). Her current favorite/most-used phrases are the following:
"Ah doo-ing er?" (What are you doing there?)
"Wus dis?" (What's this? We hear this one almost incessantly. It's then followed by "Ohhh...ah ___[fill in blank with appropriate garbled version of parental answer to previous question])
"Where ______ go?" (fill in the blank with just about anything which is out of its usual place/Daddy).
What really amuses us right now is the way she prefaces many words at the beginning of the sentence with "ah." Neil says there's a similar usage in Tagalog, but it's interesting to hear her give her own version of an article to start everything off.
"Ah doo-ing er?" (What are you doing there?)
"Wus dis?" (What's this? We hear this one almost incessantly. It's then followed by "Ohhh...ah ___[fill in blank with appropriate garbled version of parental answer to previous question])
"Where ______ go?" (fill in the blank with just about anything which is out of its usual place/Daddy).
What really amuses us right now is the way she prefaces many words at the beginning of the sentence with "ah." Neil says there's a similar usage in Tagalog, but it's interesting to hear her give her own version of an article to start everything off.
Monday, June 18, 2007
The fruits of our labors...
Isn't it nice to see flowers, vegetables, and children all flourishing so beautifully? (Although I didn't plant the lilies, so I can't take credit for anything other than recognizing that they were plants rather than weeds when they came up this spring). In case you're wondering, those dusty garden rows contain lettuce, beans, tomatoes, peppers, squash, zucchini, cilantro, basil, and cantaloupe (in addition to black plastic, boards, and cement, the latter two oh-so-attractive design elements comprising our solution to the raging winds that rip through our back yard and threaten the plastic's integrity).
We had a lovely night together this evening. After a spirited FHE lesson involving Abigail's Little People farm characters acting out Joseph Smith's First Vision (it was a classic. I'm sad you had to miss it. And you also missed out on the awesome job she did in coloring the picture of the First Vision I printed out from the Friend. Speaking of which, check out this website for links to recent Friend coloring pages), we went on a little walk outside and enjoyed the breezy 80-degree weather (finally! a break in the heat wave). While we were on our walk, Abigail narrated the events going on around us and thus indicated her preference for the continuation of the evening's program: "Birdies! Birdies flying! Flying...kite?! Kite! Pincess kite!"
So we went home and got out the "pincess kite" and had a grand ol' time. One thing that really amazes me lately is Abigail's increasing proficiency with words. She's started calling us Rachael and Neil a lot more when she wants our attention and we're not moving fast enough to suit her (i.e. tonight she was holding the gate open for me while I was lingering looking at bushes and wondering about pruning, and she said impatiently "Rachael! Come in fence!" and then said "Tank you!" sweetly as she closed the gate behind me). But in general we're hearing much more detailed sentences and narration of everything going on, i.e. "Take off bib, wash hands. Hands sticky. Peez wash hands? Rachael? Rachael? Peez wash hands, Rachael?"
Well, I am off to finish the last 100 pages of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell! Many thanks to Mary Beth for my surprise "un-birthday" present--it was so fun to have a package come my way last week! And I must say, Mergie, it's a totally different type of fantasy novel--I feel like I'm reading a book about magic by Henry James or Jane Austen. Fun in that lovely 19th century sort of way. Except written in the 21st century, which is even more fun. Anyway, enough typing, time for reading! I must find out how the dastardly schemes of the gentleman with the thistledown hair will be thwarted! (and on a sidenote, what a cool way to refer to someone throughout the entire 1006-page book...)
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day
I am really tired today, so my father's day post is going to be limited to expressing my heartfelt appreciation for daddies who think a houseful of little girls is just as much fun (if not more--right, Dad?) than one of little boys. I've always been really grateful for a dad who never said anything about wishing he had a son--he just took us camping, taught us to rock-climb, shoot, and canoe, and took us on regular hikes (we thought it was sooooo cool when he brought a pistol once when we'd seen a lot of coyotes running around the previous week). And he did plenty of girly-type stuff with us too--he went to the mall with me once to offer an opinion on a prom dress even before my mom looked at it, he took us on regular daddy-daughter dates, and sang endless bedtime songs accompanied by comforting backrubs. I'm grateful for a dad who drove us to seminary before we could drive ourselves, who let me go on his daily runs even though I slowed him down (and on one of those runs taught me the best way to spit to clear out my lungs!), who got up early to make us all breakfast before we left for school, whose whole-wheat waffles and bread were soooo good that our friends always wanted to have sleepovers at our house, who taught us about supporting our church leaders by taking us to the bishop's office at the church so that we could clean all the fuzzy gunk off the chairs, a dad who was a diligent home-teacher (and let us come along!) and always gave us blessings before starting a new school year, who told us endless stories about his childhood in Idaho (we especially loved the ones that started out "When I was a little girl" because we thought that was so silly!!), who was so excited to leave on vacation one year that he got pulled over for speeding almost immediately... I'm grateful to have a dad who took the door off the hinges when I tried to slam it shut and calmly explained that I needed to respect my mother, who gave me the most beautiful bouquet of roses I've ever seen after I came out of surgery when I was 13, who led us in family prayer every night, who drilled into me the importance of not just hard work, but spending time with your family even if you have to work late into the night to make the family time possible. I'm glad I have a dad who is the most beloved person in the world to his grand-daughter, who insists on looking at a picture of him every day, who tells me "Abigail sad" when I tell her we will not be seeing her grandpa today. Dad, I sure love you and I'm so grateful to have had your example all my life so that I knew what kind of guy I wanted to marry to make sure that my children had a wonderful father too.
And Neil, you told me to come to bed and not post about you, so I'll just say this--I love you a lot. I'm glad Abigail has someone in her life who will help her to face up to the reality that no, the very hungry caterpillar probably WOULD get squashed by the people whose ice cream cone, salami, cake, watermelon, etc. he ate rather than just getting a tummy ache. I love the fact that that you're never too tired to chase Abigail around the living room in the persona of a barking galloping puppy and that even though you think her little board books are boring you'll read them patiently and endlessly for as long as she'll sit still. I'm amused by the fact that every Sunday morning the two of you manage to turn a perfectly clean house into a wilderness of books, toys, and spilled cereal by the time I get up, and that it's the highlight of Abigail's week to spend time with her "Daddy-Neil." I was really touched when I came into the bathroom yesterday morning and found the two of you fixing the bathroom sink together, Abigail with screwdriver and flashlight in hand. I love you lots.
And Neil, you told me to come to bed and not post about you, so I'll just say this--I love you a lot. I'm glad Abigail has someone in her life who will help her to face up to the reality that no, the very hungry caterpillar probably WOULD get squashed by the people whose ice cream cone, salami, cake, watermelon, etc. he ate rather than just getting a tummy ache. I love the fact that that you're never too tired to chase Abigail around the living room in the persona of a barking galloping puppy and that even though you think her little board books are boring you'll read them patiently and endlessly for as long as she'll sit still. I'm amused by the fact that every Sunday morning the two of you manage to turn a perfectly clean house into a wilderness of books, toys, and spilled cereal by the time I get up, and that it's the highlight of Abigail's week to spend time with her "Daddy-Neil." I was really touched when I came into the bathroom yesterday morning and found the two of you fixing the bathroom sink together, Abigail with screwdriver and flashlight in hand. I love you lots.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
My Aunt Fozdin
Today we have a guest blogger: Miss Abigail, here to celebrate Rosalind's birthday and tell us all of the things she loves about her Aunt Fozdin.
My Aunt Fozdin reads to me out of "the best books."
She loves to play with me and always makes sure that I have plenty of fun toys. She always shares her toys with me, even if it means that I mess up her immaculately kept room--she doesn't mind.
She is very patient and is content to simply relax with the people she loves. Daddy really likes the fact that she will play chess with him any time!
She has fabulous taste in what kinds of clothes will look good on other people, and always dresses very carefully and neatly herself.
She is always willing to take me for walks when she visits our house (or when I visit her house). In fact, not only is she willing to take me for walks, but she generously offers to babysit so that my mommy and daddy can have some quality time together.
Happy birthday to Rosalind, maker of delectable cupcakes, mistress of the cleanest and most organized room ever to grace the planet, giver of adorable dangly earrings and cute purses! We love you!!!!!
My Aunt Fozdin reads to me out of "the best books."
She loves to play with me and always makes sure that I have plenty of fun toys. She always shares her toys with me, even if it means that I mess up her immaculately kept room--she doesn't mind.
She is very patient and is content to simply relax with the people she loves. Daddy really likes the fact that she will play chess with him any time!
Aunt Fozdin spends a lot of time thinking about what will make other people happy and how she can help them to be happier.
She has fabulous taste in what kinds of clothes will look good on other people, and always dresses very carefully and neatly herself.
She gives great presents that are very thoughtful and detail oriented. When she and Aunt Elise made me this blanket for Christmas when I was 8 months old, she also spent a lot of time coordinating presents for my mommy and my daddy that she knew they would like. We got to eat lots of creative cupcakes and watch Daddy's favorite movie over and over! (And the next year she gave me this dolly!)
She is never too busy to take the time to make someone else feel good. Mommy says that she gives the best hand rubs ever!
She is never too busy to take the time to make someone else feel good. Mommy says that she gives the best hand rubs ever!
Aunt Fozdin is always smiling and always happy. As you may also notice from this picture, her jewelry is always coordinated. :-)
She always makes time to play with me!
She is always willing to take me for walks when she visits our house (or when I visit her house). In fact, not only is she willing to take me for walks, but she generously offers to babysit so that my mommy and daddy can have some quality time together.
Happy birthday to Rosalind, maker of delectable cupcakes, mistress of the cleanest and most organized room ever to grace the planet, giver of adorable dangly earrings and cute purses! We love you!!!!!
Friday, June 15, 2007
family fun Friday
Tonight we went to the pool after Neil came home from work. I've been in a lot of pain and discomfort the last few days with the baby (she's somehow positioned oddly in a way that not only makes every movement a huge jolt of pain, but leaves me constantly nauseated and dizzy) so he thought the water might help to relieve some of the pressure, and it sure did. We spent a couple of hours there and returned home much rejuvenated. Abigail really loved having Neil there, especially since he did lots of fun "Daddy stuff" in the pool with her that I haven't really been feeling up to (or that isn't safe unless there's another person there waiting to catch her!). So she got her fill of jumping off his shoulders, riding on his back while he swam underwater, etc. It was a good night.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
bookworms
Every so often, someone will come over to our house, look at all the bookshelves, and say "Wow, it must be really great to love reading so much." And I (or Neil on my behalf) end up saying sheepishly "Well, it's really more of a vice when you stay up all night regularly to read..."
So speaking of loving to read, here is what I love love love love love about Abigail--she has inherited a love of books. Today she has spent the equivalent of three hours (added all together) sitting somewhere quietly going through her books, in addition to the half hour I've spent reading to her. Every so often I hear her "reading" one that she knows particularly well, but in general she's content to page through and look at all the pictures and speculate on what's going on. It's lovely to see her mesmerized by a book rather than a TV (it might help that we don't own a TV), and it's also lovely for me to be able to cook dinner or wash dishes while she's happily occupied.
Although I have to confess that I feel guilty on occasion for just letting her chill with the books, but she seems happy, so...I definitely do feel guilty when she takes an hour and a half falling asleep (another trait which she evidently inherited from me), as she did last night. I admit, she went to bed about an hour early (she took a short nap and ran around all day at the pool, so I was worried about her being too tired and she went to bed quite happily). I don't want to get her back up, since that would set a bad precedent, but I hate seeing her just lying there sucking her thumb and staring at the ceiling when I go in to check on her. It looks like she's comatose or something, which is rather disquieting. Anyway. Anybody come to terms with this with their children (the whole child not getting out of bed but not falling asleep either for a ridiculously long period of time, thereby making you feel guilty for the fact that they're losing out on a good two hours of interaction with you or some other constructive activity) who has some advice to offer to quiet my mommy conscience?
So speaking of loving to read, here is what I love love love love love about Abigail--she has inherited a love of books. Today she has spent the equivalent of three hours (added all together) sitting somewhere quietly going through her books, in addition to the half hour I've spent reading to her. Every so often I hear her "reading" one that she knows particularly well, but in general she's content to page through and look at all the pictures and speculate on what's going on. It's lovely to see her mesmerized by a book rather than a TV (it might help that we don't own a TV), and it's also lovely for me to be able to cook dinner or wash dishes while she's happily occupied.
Although I have to confess that I feel guilty on occasion for just letting her chill with the books, but she seems happy, so...I definitely do feel guilty when she takes an hour and a half falling asleep (another trait which she evidently inherited from me), as she did last night. I admit, she went to bed about an hour early (she took a short nap and ran around all day at the pool, so I was worried about her being too tired and she went to bed quite happily). I don't want to get her back up, since that would set a bad precedent, but I hate seeing her just lying there sucking her thumb and staring at the ceiling when I go in to check on her. It looks like she's comatose or something, which is rather disquieting. Anyway. Anybody come to terms with this with their children (the whole child not getting out of bed but not falling asleep either for a ridiculously long period of time, thereby making you feel guilty for the fact that they're losing out on a good two hours of interaction with you or some other constructive activity) who has some advice to offer to quiet my mommy conscience?
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
pool day
Today Abigail woke up early from her nap (twenty-one minutes after I finished my website and finally took a break, to be exact) and asked if we could go swimming. So rather than filling up her puffy green backyard pool, we went to the "big pool," aka the community pool where one can actually swim around.
We had a blast--it was the first time we've gone this year and she totally loved it. She's still totally fearless (that whole consequences thing hasn't triggered inside her brain yet) and so she did lots of "jumping into Mommy's arms" or "walking into the deep end" type of things. When we did go to the kiddie pool, she crawled around on the bottom and told me she was a fish. I had a great time laughing with my little buddy, especially when we went into the "big kid pools."
One memorable moment: she was jumping into my arms from the steps leading down into the 4-foot section of the pool (so she'd walk down a step or two, then jump). One of her friends decided it looked like a fun game, so she jumped for me too, and Abigail immediately cannonballed into her shrieking in rage "My mommy! MY mommy! MY MOMMY!" as she flung her arms around my neck and tried to push the other little girl away.
Should be interesting having another kid around here...hopefully we can get Abigail to view her new sister as a friend rather than as competition.
Tonight we had family prayer in our bedroom near the door to the bathroom, since Abigail had just finished up her bath (every so often she gets a bath in our big tub, which she likes less for the space and more for the fact that she can easily turn on the cold water and splash it on whatever parent is closest. Exciting). Anyway, when Neil said "It's time for prayer, Abigail," she immediately dropped to her knees and began saying her own prayer. About halfway through the volume got loud enough for us to hear, and we realized she was blessing/listing every object in the bathroom, i.e. "shammer, taftub, mirror, wall, floor, towel, Daddy..."
I am now off to bed to make up for the five hours of sleep I got last night (cursed lack of self-control when it comes to good books!), a fatigue which has been exacerbated by the fact that I got up at six to spend an hour at the gym on the elliptical and lifting weights, walked 2 miles around campus and to/from bus stops, and spent 2 hours at the pool. I need days like this more often to build up my stamina, I suppose, but right now I feel as energetic as if I'd spent all day skiing through deep powder. Whew. Fortunately Abigail was tired enough to go to bed early too!
We had a blast--it was the first time we've gone this year and she totally loved it. She's still totally fearless (that whole consequences thing hasn't triggered inside her brain yet) and so she did lots of "jumping into Mommy's arms" or "walking into the deep end" type of things. When we did go to the kiddie pool, she crawled around on the bottom and told me she was a fish. I had a great time laughing with my little buddy, especially when we went into the "big kid pools."
One memorable moment: she was jumping into my arms from the steps leading down into the 4-foot section of the pool (so she'd walk down a step or two, then jump). One of her friends decided it looked like a fun game, so she jumped for me too, and Abigail immediately cannonballed into her shrieking in rage "My mommy! MY mommy! MY MOMMY!" as she flung her arms around my neck and tried to push the other little girl away.
Should be interesting having another kid around here...hopefully we can get Abigail to view her new sister as a friend rather than as competition.
Tonight we had family prayer in our bedroom near the door to the bathroom, since Abigail had just finished up her bath (every so often she gets a bath in our big tub, which she likes less for the space and more for the fact that she can easily turn on the cold water and splash it on whatever parent is closest. Exciting). Anyway, when Neil said "It's time for prayer, Abigail," she immediately dropped to her knees and began saying her own prayer. About halfway through the volume got loud enough for us to hear, and we realized she was blessing/listing every object in the bathroom, i.e. "shammer, taftub, mirror, wall, floor, towel, Daddy..."
I am now off to bed to make up for the five hours of sleep I got last night (cursed lack of self-control when it comes to good books!), a fatigue which has been exacerbated by the fact that I got up at six to spend an hour at the gym on the elliptical and lifting weights, walked 2 miles around campus and to/from bus stops, and spent 2 hours at the pool. I need days like this more often to build up my stamina, I suppose, but right now I feel as energetic as if I'd spent all day skiing through deep powder. Whew. Fortunately Abigail was tired enough to go to bed early too!
argh
There is nothing that frustrates me more than looking incompetent. Case in point: the server which hosts all of the course websites for the department crashed (remember my whiny post about that?) and I redid my website. Several times. Well, apparently it's still having problems, because all of the links keep coming up broken, even though they worked just fine when I checked them the night before.
This is really frustrating to me, because a) I'm sure my class thinks I'm a slacker and just making up the "the department server keeps crashing" story and b) I've had to cancel/alter two assignments thus far because of the website problems. I tried to give a quiz this morning and was told "Oh, the links were broken--we couldn't do the readings" which was frustrating first of all because NOBODY EMAILED ME to let me know they couldn't access the assignment, and secondly, while the direct link did not work, the assignment said "Please read the following sections (then a list of the section titles with hyperlinks) in the the 'Principles: Understanding Readers" chapter of [online textbook]." So four people did the assignment, but the other 15 didn't...argh.
but anyway, I hate looking unprepared and incompetent, so this is quite frustrating to me. At least I know the material I'm lecturing on thoroughly enough that I don't get too flustered there by all the upheaval with the website.
anyway. Today Abigail and I (and Neil on the way there) took the bus to/from school rather than driving. I'd really like to make a habit of this to avoid having to drive every day (gas money! aaaahhh!!!). She behaved herself really well--she sat on my lap and asked me to sing to her, so I sang Primary songs to her the whole way home (on the way there she wanted to look out the windows). The hard part, I think, will be all of the walking in the heat of the day. I was a bit dizzy by the time we got home at noon (we live .6 miles from the bus stop). I also left her sunhat on the bus, so I was pretty irritated with myself about that (and I left my water bottle at the gym this morning). Taking the bus does mean that we're gone from 8:50 until 11:50 rather than 9:35 to 11:05, so we'll have to see...I don't want Abigail to be totally deprived of meaningful Mommy time over the next seven weeks. I guess we still have afternoons.
This is really frustrating to me, because a) I'm sure my class thinks I'm a slacker and just making up the "the department server keeps crashing" story and b) I've had to cancel/alter two assignments thus far because of the website problems. I tried to give a quiz this morning and was told "Oh, the links were broken--we couldn't do the readings" which was frustrating first of all because NOBODY EMAILED ME to let me know they couldn't access the assignment, and secondly, while the direct link did not work, the assignment said "Please read the following sections (then a list of the section titles with hyperlinks) in the the 'Principles: Understanding Readers" chapter of [online textbook]." So four people did the assignment, but the other 15 didn't...argh.
but anyway, I hate looking unprepared and incompetent, so this is quite frustrating to me. At least I know the material I'm lecturing on thoroughly enough that I don't get too flustered there by all the upheaval with the website.
anyway. Today Abigail and I (and Neil on the way there) took the bus to/from school rather than driving. I'd really like to make a habit of this to avoid having to drive every day (gas money! aaaahhh!!!). She behaved herself really well--she sat on my lap and asked me to sing to her, so I sang Primary songs to her the whole way home (on the way there she wanted to look out the windows). The hard part, I think, will be all of the walking in the heat of the day. I was a bit dizzy by the time we got home at noon (we live .6 miles from the bus stop). I also left her sunhat on the bus, so I was pretty irritated with myself about that (and I left my water bottle at the gym this morning). Taking the bus does mean that we're gone from 8:50 until 11:50 rather than 9:35 to 11:05, so we'll have to see...I don't want Abigail to be totally deprived of meaningful Mommy time over the next seven weeks. I guess we still have afternoons.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Family prayer
Tonight Abigail said our family prayer (with liberal prompting from Neil). It was really sweet to hear her and to realize that although she did wait to be told what to say for the majority of it, she knew to kneel down, fold her arms, close her eyes, and bow her head, and she also knew the words we usually say to finish up our prayers (which were shouted out at top volume). It made us feel like we were doing something right as parents!
(Plus it was really cute to hear her say "Bess you Mommy, bess you Daddy, bess you Papa, bess you Granma, bess you Fozdin, bess you Yise, bess you Woof, bess you Bear Bef, bess us to be good.")
(Plus it was really cute to hear her say "Bess you Mommy, bess you Daddy, bess you Papa, bess you Granma, bess you Fozdin, bess you Yise, bess you Woof, bess you Bear Bef, bess us to be good.")
Monday, June 11, 2007
Happy reading
Abigail's favorite book for the past few days has been The Incredibles, or as she calls it, "Ink-ree-bils!" We read it together twice today and then she read it at least three times to her bunny rabbit. Good times. I just wish that the quality of those books-from-movies were better--the narrative is pretty insipid (hard to cover a whole movie in 30 pages) and the pictures are even worse. Oh well. It was a free book, so I can't complain too much.
Teaching went well today--Neil and Abigail successfully conquered the grocery store and bank in time to meet me again after my class, so it was nice not to have to run errands when I was done teaching. For some reason we've all been really tired today--Abigail went to bed early after a long nap and Neil and I both managed to fall asleep around 8:30 while sitting upright reading/studying. Yuck. I hate the yucky tired feeling I always have after an unintentional nap, especially one right before I actually want to go to sleep (but too early to stay asleep).
Today I managed to get flour all over my apron while making rolls and a disapproving Abigail promptly informed me "You mess, Mommy," and made me stand still while she brushed off all the flour with a dishtowel. She then made me stick out my hands so that she could wipe them clean with one of her little hand-cleaning towels...funny girl.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
almost Monday
Today was sort of the quiet before the storm of classes starting tomorrow. We had a lovely Sunday afternoon with plenty of napping, then we went to Phil's (a colleague of Neil's in the lab) house for dinner, which was absolutely great! Abigail happily consumed vast quantities of rice, watermelon, and cantalope, so it was lovely not to have to coerce her into eating. We had a good time playing on the swingset outside his apartment, so Abigail was nicely tired out by bedtime.
I'm a little worried about the next eight weeks--Neil will end up doing a lot more of the "house stuff," and I'm a little stressed about that (i.e. he'll take over banking, groceries, library time, etc.) Not that I don't think he can do it all competently; in fact, when he does something that I "generally" do he often comes up with a better way of doing it, but I really try to take care of the basic keeping everyone fed and clothed and clean sort of things so he doesn't have to worry about it and can concentrate on research and studying. So I hope that this runs smoothly and doesn't end up being a burden on him...we've been really blessed thus far in the fact that I've been able to teach only two days a week, so we'll have to see how the five days thing goes, since we haven't done that since leaving BYU. On the other hand, it's probably a good segue for us into the serious inroads on my ability to accomplish a lot of my usual tasks that this new baby will make, so Neil is telling me it's a good thing for him to re-familiarize himself with some of the day-to-day operations of our little Command Central.
I'm a little worried about the next eight weeks--Neil will end up doing a lot more of the "house stuff," and I'm a little stressed about that (i.e. he'll take over banking, groceries, library time, etc.) Not that I don't think he can do it all competently; in fact, when he does something that I "generally" do he often comes up with a better way of doing it, but I really try to take care of the basic keeping everyone fed and clothed and clean sort of things so he doesn't have to worry about it and can concentrate on research and studying. So I hope that this runs smoothly and doesn't end up being a burden on him...we've been really blessed thus far in the fact that I've been able to teach only two days a week, so we'll have to see how the five days thing goes, since we haven't done that since leaving BYU. On the other hand, it's probably a good segue for us into the serious inroads on my ability to accomplish a lot of my usual tasks that this new baby will make, so Neil is telling me it's a good thing for him to re-familiarize himself with some of the day-to-day operations of our little Command Central.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
weekend fun fun
I'm not even going to try to organize these pictures, because I'm too tired. But here's what we had fun doing this weekend:
- going to the playground. Abigail is currently in love with the swings
- picking strawberries (just Neil and I!) for our date night so that we could enjoy a strawberry-rhubarb crumble tonight for our Saturday treat
- reorganizing & sweeping out the garage and installing shelves! hurray! it still looks, well, like a garage, but it is LOVELY to have everything in an assigned place and off the floor or makeshift shelves. notice as well the lovely green area rug by the freezer. can you tell we are super excited about having a place OTHER than the laundry room to keep all our shoes, which always seem to migrate from their homes in the closet?
- washing (Neil) and vacuuming (Rachael) the car, as well as washing the sidewalk, driveway, and grass (Abigail)
- visiting the farmer's market and buying (among other herbs) a lime basil plant. we'd never heard of them, but we were totally sold after one sniff. incredible salsa, here we come...
Thursday, June 07, 2007
funny kid
Abigailisms from the past couple of days:
- upon seeing a Book of Mormon: "Kripters!"
- insisting that we kneel for a hurried family prayer before Neil left for work: "Down, down, down!"
- "Daddy..."reprovingly when Neil didn't say "excuse me" after burping, and when he then said "Oh, I'm sorry...excuse me, Abigail" she responded "Daddy! Scuze me Daddy!" in apparent horror that she might be construed as the burping culprit
- "Brush, brush, comb, comb"...reciting One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish as she looked through the book while I folded laundry
- Shouting "buddies!" gleefully and seizing my hand, then after I said "Yes, that's right...Mommy and Abigail are buddies," she nervously inquired "Daddy buddies?" in apparent concern that he might be left out of the triumvirate
- asserting with perfect solemnity while we were at Menards' buying the materials to build shelves in the garage (this weekend's project) that she wished her daddy to buy her "ah booord"
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
website woes
Anti-procrastinator that I am, I updated and finalized my course website for my summer section about two months ago (classes start Monday).
Wouldn't you know it? The server crashed and destroyed all the sites for summer courses (and what's more of a concern to me, the fall and winter courses as well, which means I will have to start utterly from scratch next year, a very unpleasant thought). Fortunately, some bits and pieces were cloned over, but I still had to retype everything to get the formatting to work correctly, since the HTML coding was doing strange and exciting things like not even showing some lines of text in the code but refusing to delete them in rich-text format. Fun fun. It's still sort of ugly, and I don't like the new server too much, but it works (and if you visited the link, you will probably be ecstatic that you are neither teaching nor taking this seven week writing marathon!--although you also probably can't see most of it without being signed in as a user). Fortunately, my loving husband volunteered to spend his measly amount of free time watching Abigail for an hour and a half before she went to bed so that I could finish it all up. Neil, you rock.
Moving on...I've loved reading about Mary Beth's mouth-watering dinner concoctions, so I decided to post about what I made tonight, since it was super fun to make (and I took a picture, but it didn't really do it justice, so no picture). Anyway, it was "pantry meal night," which is my weekly or biweekly attempt at clearing things out that have been lingering on the shelves of the cabinets or fridge for a bit, so tonight we had spaghetti with a jazzy sauce based on sauteed onions and garlic, to which I tossed in some capers, pepper flakes and sun-dried tomatoes, then finished off the lot with diced tomatoes and tomato sauce. We topped it off with grated Parmesan and parsley, and it was just divine, as were our baby-lettuce-thinnings which we ate as a salad. I admit, most of our pantry nights aren't very exciting, but this one was, which made it fun for all of us.
Today Abigail and I took a loooong walk--are you ready for this?--with no stroller and no carrying, we walked a full mile! (Andrea, we tried to surprise you guys, but you must have been out!) :-) It took us an hour and ten minutes, but it was a lot of fun. Abigail wore this dazzling outfit culled from her dress-ups and insisted on bringing the baby doll that Elise gave her this weekend (and by the way, the marker on the doll's forehead is quite distressing to Abigail. She keeps pointing to it and saying "No color! No-no! No color!"). It actually worked rather nicely having the doll along--Abigail occasionally decides that she is a "big girl" a
nd "no hold hands," but was easily convinced that we should each hold one of the dolly's hands since she was a baby. So the three of us walked along quite happily, with lots of sunshine and time to answer "Wus dis, Mommy? Wus dis?!" questions in great detail, which are now the most frequently heard form of communication around our house.
We rounded off our day with a trip to the doctor's office (for me) where I once again was exceedingly grateful for Abigail's patience and general good nature, since we waited about an hour for a five-minute appointment. Fortunately we had plenty of books and snacks, so we passed the time quite pleasantly; then we went to the library and waited until Neil was done with work so we could all go home together.
I know I say this a lot, but I can't believe how much Abigail is growing and learning, and how curious she is about everything AND how much she listens to my explanations. For example, she doesn't like the lid of the toilet to be up, so she used to drop it from its highest point whenever she saw it open and relish the ear-splitting crash it made. About a week ago, I realized that instead of saying "No! Don't do that!" I needed to explain exactly what it was that I wanted her to do instead, so I bent down and showed her how to "close it softly." We haven't had any open toilets in the intervening week and I had completely forgotten about this little two-minute incident until this morning when she ran into the bathroom and said "Oh! Potty open! I kyozz soffee?" and then proceeded to veeeerry carefully let down the lid, then looked up at me proudly and said "Good job?"
I can't believe I'm blogging about a toilet lid, but I was very impressed with how eager she is to learn and to please me. It's good to remember that the things she does sometimes which drive me crazy are just her way of exploring her world, and she really does try so hard once we've taught her a principle.
Wouldn't you know it? The server crashed and destroyed all the sites for summer courses (and what's more of a concern to me, the fall and winter courses as well, which means I will have to start utterly from scratch next year, a very unpleasant thought). Fortunately, some bits and pieces were cloned over, but I still had to retype everything to get the formatting to work correctly, since the HTML coding was doing strange and exciting things like not even showing some lines of text in the code but refusing to delete them in rich-text format. Fun fun. It's still sort of ugly, and I don't like the new server too much, but it works (and if you visited the link, you will probably be ecstatic that you are neither teaching nor taking this seven week writing marathon!--although you also probably can't see most of it without being signed in as a user). Fortunately, my loving husband volunteered to spend his measly amount of free time watching Abigail for an hour and a half before she went to bed so that I could finish it all up. Neil, you rock.
Moving on...I've loved reading about Mary Beth's mouth-watering dinner concoctions, so I decided to post about what I made tonight, since it was super fun to make (and I took a picture, but it didn't really do it justice, so no picture). Anyway, it was "pantry meal night," which is my weekly or biweekly attempt at clearing things out that have been lingering on the shelves of the cabinets or fridge for a bit, so tonight we had spaghetti with a jazzy sauce based on sauteed onions and garlic, to which I tossed in some capers, pepper flakes and sun-dried tomatoes, then finished off the lot with diced tomatoes and tomato sauce. We topped it off with grated Parmesan and parsley, and it was just divine, as were our baby-lettuce-thinnings which we ate as a salad. I admit, most of our pantry nights aren't very exciting, but this one was, which made it fun for all of us.
Today Abigail and I took a loooong walk--are you ready for this?--with no stroller and no carrying, we walked a full mile! (Andrea, we tried to surprise you guys, but you must have been out!) :-) It took us an hour and ten minutes, but it was a lot of fun. Abigail wore this dazzling outfit culled from her dress-ups and insisted on bringing the baby doll that Elise gave her this weekend (and by the way, the marker on the doll's forehead is quite distressing to Abigail. She keeps pointing to it and saying "No color! No-no! No color!"). It actually worked rather nicely having the doll along--Abigail occasionally decides that she is a "big girl" a
nd "no hold hands," but was easily convinced that we should each hold one of the dolly's hands since she was a baby. So the three of us walked along quite happily, with lots of sunshine and time to answer "Wus dis, Mommy? Wus dis?!" questions in great detail, which are now the most frequently heard form of communication around our house.We rounded off our day with a trip to the doctor's office (for me) where I once again was exceedingly grateful for Abigail's patience and general good nature, since we waited about an hour for a five-minute appointment. Fortunately we had plenty of books and snacks, so we passed the time quite pleasantly; then we went to the library and waited until Neil was done with work so we could all go home together.
I know I say this a lot, but I can't believe how much Abigail is growing and learning, and how curious she is about everything AND how much she listens to my explanations. For example, she doesn't like the lid of the toilet to be up, so she used to drop it from its highest point whenever she saw it open and relish the ear-splitting crash it made. About a week ago, I realized that instead of saying "No! Don't do that!" I needed to explain exactly what it was that I wanted her to do instead, so I bent down and showed her how to "close it softly." We haven't had any open toilets in the intervening week and I had completely forgotten about this little two-minute incident until this morning when she ran into the bathroom and said "Oh! Potty open! I kyozz soffee?" and then proceeded to veeeerry carefully let down the lid, then looked up at me proudly and said "Good job?"
I can't believe I'm blogging about a toilet lid, but I was very impressed with how eager she is to learn and to please me. It's good to remember that the things she does sometimes which drive me crazy are just her way of exploring her world, and she really does try so hard once we've taught her a principle.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
sunny day
This morning we all enjoyed a much-needed sleep-in day. The three of us all slept in an extra hour and I think it really made a difference in how happy and energetic we all were this morning--the last bit of catch-up from the weekend (when Abigail kept having nightmares and crawling into our bed asking for breakfast at 5:30 a.m., then falling asleep with both arms wrapped as tightly as possible around my neck).
Abigail and I biked over to a park a few miles away today to meet a mother's group from our church. We had a fun time running around the pond looking at ducks and playing on the playground equipment--I will definitely miss these when I start teaching next week! It's really nice to have the chance to chat with the other women in the ward. On the way home, I scraped my leg on the bike pedal, and Abigail noticed it while we were eating lunch. With a look of great concern, she said "Oh Mommy! Owie! I tiss it better!"
Later on after Neil had mowed the lawn while Abigail and I weeded the garden and the flowerbeds, the three of us biked to the grocery store to rent a movie (Neil is super ahead on his studying, so we decided to indulge a bit!) In a way, I'm sort of glad that gas prices have shot up so much, since it really motivates us to cut down on using the car and either bike/walk or simply not go, which is also a nice option since it usually ends up saving money that we would have spent wherever we ended up going. But it's nice to realize at the end of the day that we got to spend about an hour biking and doing something good for our hearts! It's also especially nice in that Abigail absolutely adores bike rides and they make her super happy for the rest of the day.
One thing I don't express gratitude for often enough is how generally sweet-tempered Abigail is. She has a rough day every couple of weeks, but by and large she is still the sunny sweet child that she was when she was a baby. She agrees happily with almost everything, gives away hugs and kisses freely, and never argues about naptime or bedtime. In fact, when we tell her it's time to sleep, she will run to her room, climb into bed, and tuck herself in, waiting only for a kiss to snuggle down with her blankie. She is lovable and endearing, and we feel very blessed to have her in our family.
So at the end of the day, I am grateful for my hard-working husband who spends all day at the lab and still has energy to not only mow the lawn, but compliment me on dinner; for my sweet little girl who rests her head against my shoulder while we read books and throws her arms around my neck for "lossa hugs," and for the baby lettuce that I thinned from the garden tonight that we will eat for dinner tomorrow. :-)
Abigail and I biked over to a park a few miles away today to meet a mother's group from our church. We had a fun time running around the pond looking at ducks and playing on the playground equipment--I will definitely miss these when I start teaching next week! It's really nice to have the chance to chat with the other women in the ward. On the way home, I scraped my leg on the bike pedal, and Abigail noticed it while we were eating lunch. With a look of great concern, she said "Oh Mommy! Owie! I tiss it better!"
Later on after Neil had mowed the lawn while Abigail and I weeded the garden and the flowerbeds, the three of us biked to the grocery store to rent a movie (Neil is super ahead on his studying, so we decided to indulge a bit!) In a way, I'm sort of glad that gas prices have shot up so much, since it really motivates us to cut down on using the car and either bike/walk or simply not go, which is also a nice option since it usually ends up saving money that we would have spent wherever we ended up going. But it's nice to realize at the end of the day that we got to spend about an hour biking and doing something good for our hearts! It's also especially nice in that Abigail absolutely adores bike rides and they make her super happy for the rest of the day.
One thing I don't express gratitude for often enough is how generally sweet-tempered Abigail is. She has a rough day every couple of weeks, but by and large she is still the sunny sweet child that she was when she was a baby. She agrees happily with almost everything, gives away hugs and kisses freely, and never argues about naptime or bedtime. In fact, when we tell her it's time to sleep, she will run to her room, climb into bed, and tuck herself in, waiting only for a kiss to snuggle down with her blankie. She is lovable and endearing, and we feel very blessed to have her in our family.
So at the end of the day, I am grateful for my hard-working husband who spends all day at the lab and still has energy to not only mow the lawn, but compliment me on dinner; for my sweet little girl who rests her head against my shoulder while we read books and throws her arms around my neck for "lossa hugs," and for the baby lettuce that I thinned from the garden tonight that we will eat for dinner tomorrow. :-)
Monday, June 04, 2007
following up
Well, today certainly got better...when Neil got home. I had high hopes that Abigail and I would both feel better when she woke up from her nap, but she ended up whacking me in the face with a box of crackers when I was waking up from my nap, so...the rest of the afternoon sort of went like that. The low point was when I realized I was holding a book out of her reach during storytime so that she couldn't skip to the end, since I was getting really frustrated about the fact that she was only allowing me to read the first two pages of each book before demanding a new one. So my effort at a "happy calming stories on the couch" disintegrated into me triumphantly holding the book out of reach and yelling "THEN THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE ROLLED THROUGH THE BUFFERS AND FOUND LADY THE MAGIC GOLDEN ENGINE" over her shrieks as she jumped up and down and beat her fists against the couch. Fortunately I realized how silly I was being, calmed her down, and we managed another fifteen minutes of peaceful cuddling storytime.
My favorite part of family home evening tonight was Abigail's "take-home message" from the lesson. We talked about prayer and went through what we do when we pray, the kinds of things we ask for, times when we pray, what being reverent means, why we pray, etc. At one point, I mentioned that just like we can call Daddy on the phone, prayer is the way that we can "call" Jesus and Heavenly Father. After the lesson, Abigail ran for the phone, put it against her ear, and said confidently "Hello? Desus? Hi!"
Other FHE highlights included tromping through all the puddles in our neighborhood and making chocolate chip cookies, where I thoroughly enjoyed Abigail-the-food-sneak's reaction to the eggshell she bit into (not quite so tasty as the chocolate chips and brown sugar she'd been sneaking earlier).
And because I always talk about Abigail on this blog, here's an exchange with Neil that made me laugh and laugh:
Rachael: "If it stops raining tonight, we should really weed the garden and all the flowerbeds."
Neil: "That's a great idea. Why don't you get started and I'll go buy a whip to make it go faster?"
For some reason, I just thought that was hilarious. Probably not many other people will, but Neil's weird sense of humor always makes me laugh and laugh.
My favorite part of family home evening tonight was Abigail's "take-home message" from the lesson. We talked about prayer and went through what we do when we pray, the kinds of things we ask for, times when we pray, what being reverent means, why we pray, etc. At one point, I mentioned that just like we can call Daddy on the phone, prayer is the way that we can "call" Jesus and Heavenly Father. After the lesson, Abigail ran for the phone, put it against her ear, and said confidently "Hello? Desus? Hi!"
Other FHE highlights included tromping through all the puddles in our neighborhood and making chocolate chip cookies, where I thoroughly enjoyed Abigail-the-food-sneak's reaction to the eggshell she bit into (not quite so tasty as the chocolate chips and brown sugar she'd been sneaking earlier).
And because I always talk about Abigail on this blog, here's an exchange with Neil that made me laugh and laugh:
Rachael: "If it stops raining tonight, we should really weed the garden and all the flowerbeds."
Neil: "That's a great idea. Why don't you get started and I'll go buy a whip to make it go faster?"
For some reason, I just thought that was hilarious. Probably not many other people will, but Neil's weird sense of humor always makes me laugh and laugh.
recovering vacation addicts
This morning Abigail and I both exhibited classical Vacation Withdrawl symptoms--mostly crankiness. I had to give myself a serious mental scolding when the alarm went off this morning in order to make myself get out of bed and go to the gym, and Miss Abigail was not so pleased this morning about the fact that Grandma and Papa's house was not to be found when she went to the window and pulled up the blinds (that's the catch to having her sleep for the three hour drive home). Fortunately, after several hours of general discontent and whining (not just on Abigail's part) we managed to get ourselves fed, with no severe casualties inflicted during the French Toast Revolution, finish off the laundry, and departed for a much-needed outing to the grocery store, where we both cheered up immensely amidst the florescent lighting and smells of fried chicken.
In case you didn't catch it earlier, we spent yet another weekend having fun (rather than doing yard work/home improvement projects! Hurray!). This time, we finally took my parents up on the really thoughtful gift my dad gave me in my stocking for Christmas: a little vacation from Abigail and time for just the two of us. Unfortunately, we've been so busy that we've really procrastinated setting a time and date for all of this, so my parents suggested last weekend that we plan on this weekend as our getaway time. Neil and I looked at the calendar and were shocked to realize that it was literally our last free weekend before the baby is born, so we quickly took them up on it (thank you for spurring us to action!) Since we were a "bit" late in looking, we didn't find any little bed and breakfast type places that we were too interested in, so we elected to stay with my parents (rather than driving up to their house, dropping Abigail off, and driving back down to Chicago or some like place) and combine some Abigail-free time with some good family fun time.
We had a really fabulous weekend--we indulged in two actual movie theater movies, something which we haven't done since we left Provo a year ago, so that was quite exciting for us (I know, it's sad, but hey, we've got "four" more years until Neil finishes his Ph.D. and we begin living in the "real world") and went out to our two favorite restaurants in K-zoo: Indian Cuisine and Schwarma King (eat your heart out, Mary Beth!) For the uninitiated, schwarma and Lebanese salad could very well be the most delectable dishes ever invented. We also had lots of time to relax and enjoy spending time with my parents, sisters, and grandparents, and Abigail got to play to an enthusiastic and complimentary audience all weekend. Good times. So now we're back to real life doing fun things like changing the sheets on the beds--no wonder she rebelled this morning! I wanted to join the temper tantrums for "G'ma Papa house," but had to sternly remind myself that I was the mommy.
In other news, the garden is suddenly a mass of leafy green due to all the rain, which means that weeding is slated for our FHE activity tonight; the Snapfish photos (all 298 of them) arrived over the weekend, and we will have a baby in 10 weeks!
In case you didn't catch it earlier, we spent yet another weekend having fun (rather than doing yard work/home improvement projects! Hurray!). This time, we finally took my parents up on the really thoughtful gift my dad gave me in my stocking for Christmas: a little vacation from Abigail and time for just the two of us. Unfortunately, we've been so busy that we've really procrastinated setting a time and date for all of this, so my parents suggested last weekend that we plan on this weekend as our getaway time. Neil and I looked at the calendar and were shocked to realize that it was literally our last free weekend before the baby is born, so we quickly took them up on it (thank you for spurring us to action!) Since we were a "bit" late in looking, we didn't find any little bed and breakfast type places that we were too interested in, so we elected to stay with my parents (rather than driving up to their house, dropping Abigail off, and driving back down to Chicago or some like place) and combine some Abigail-free time with some good family fun time.
We had a really fabulous weekend--we indulged in two actual movie theater movies, something which we haven't done since we left Provo a year ago, so that was quite exciting for us (I know, it's sad, but hey, we've got "four" more years until Neil finishes his Ph.D. and we begin living in the "real world") and went out to our two favorite restaurants in K-zoo: Indian Cuisine and Schwarma King (eat your heart out, Mary Beth!) For the uninitiated, schwarma and Lebanese salad could very well be the most delectable dishes ever invented. We also had lots of time to relax and enjoy spending time with my parents, sisters, and grandparents, and Abigail got to play to an enthusiastic and complimentary audience all weekend. Good times. So now we're back to real life doing fun things like changing the sheets on the beds--no wonder she rebelled this morning! I wanted to join the temper tantrums for "G'ma Papa house," but had to sternly remind myself that I was the mommy.
In other news, the garden is suddenly a mass of leafy green due to all the rain, which means that weeding is slated for our FHE activity tonight; the Snapfish photos (all 298 of them) arrived over the weekend, and we will have a baby in 10 weeks!
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