Nathan is 18 months old

My most darling of Nater-tots is eighteen months old! Oh goodness. I'm not going to say it feels like just yesterday that he was born (thank heavens it doesn't because the past year has been one of uncomfortably soul-stretching growth for me...his traumatic birth should have warned me what I was in for!) But I would not trade this darling for a million easy stress-free hours. He is precious. (And crazy.) He is still on the slim side--94th percentile for height and 31st for weight (and I will forever love his pediatrician for saying that he's destined to be "tall and slender like his mama!" which was kind if not altogether true!) but more than makes up for it in sheer personality.

The best way to describe Nathan is this little conversation that Neil and I had last weekend when I was in Utah. I asked him how things were going and he said, "You know how you told me I could not let Nathan out of my sight for one single second?"

"Yes," I said, already having a pretty good idea where this was headed.

"I thought you were exaggerating," he said, heaving a deep sigh. "But you weren't. At all."

And then he had to hang up because Nathan had just run by him with a chicken egg in each hand.

At eighteen months, Nathan has never met a piece of furniture he can't climb, a toothbrush he doesn't love, an animal of whom he is afraid, a food (or a non-food--crayons and markers are a particular favorite) he isn't willing to eat, or an older sibling he doesn't know how to taunt (this is an especial talent--today I saw him climb onto the dining room table where Isaac was doing his homework, carefully walk up to Isaac, put one little foot onto Isaac's paper, and then step back and grin when Isaac began screeching, "Natie alert! Natie alert! Natie on the table! Natie alert!"). He is utterly fearless--when the nurse gave him his shots he gave one outraged yelp and then glared coldly at her until she left the room. (We won't even go into the way he goes after our poor cat!) He has the vocabulary--and lungpower!!--of a much older child and is a force to be reckoned with!

And yet he still manages to be utterly charming. He gives kisses with abandon and a total lack of reservation. He twines his arms around your neck, and puts his little fluffy head down on your shoulder and looks beguilingly into your eyes. He asks sweetly for "tees" and "hippy" (cheese and sippy) and tells you to "doh way!" (go away!) in a tiny voice that is so darling that you can't help but pull him even closer and cover his little cheekies with a million kisses. He plops happily down in your lap at the slightest hint of an impending story, and immediately runs to fetch everyone's shoes if someone mentions the words, "outside," "car" or "go." He is intelligent and cheerful and fascinating and delightful, and I am forever grateful that he is a part of our family. 

Wrapped in His love

Today has been one of the worst of days and one of the best of days.

Neil's back has been bothering him for a few weeks. We've tried all kinds of things but when he woke up this morning it was suddenly unbearably awful. He couldn't move and I finally convinced him to stay home and just sit in a hot bath while I called around town and tried to find someone who had a same-day appointment for something that might help. Miraculously, I found an appointment with a massage therapist five minutes from our home. And the appointment wasn't even during naptime!

I drove Neil there and the boys and I walked around a nearby park while we were waiting for him. It was breathtakingly beautiful and wonder of wonders, Luke actually walked with me instead of collapsing to the ground in a heap like he usually does. I felt refreshed and rejuvenated--and bizarrely the boys were also willing to eat the lunch that I'd packed for them, which NEVER happens.

After I picked Neil up, I drove him around campus to take care of some of his projects and collect what he needed to work from home. I got everyone settled at home, checked my email, and saw an email from my pediatrician that Nathan's flu shot was finally in stock--we had just been to her office yesterday and they still had no vaccines for his age, so we spent the next couple of hours yesterday morning going around town trying to find a flu shot for him to no avail. Her email said that they'd just gotten a few vaccines this morning and that she'd thought of me when she saw the text about the vaccines' arrival. I immediately called her office and got an incredibly convenient appointment time that meshed with everything else I had to do this afternoon. Once I had that settled, I decided to go for a run during naptime since everyone else was sleeping and Neil was home. I ran a route that I haven't been able to run in months and had some really good mulling-things-over time. Very restorative and one of the things that I kept thinking very clearly was that I needed to email my department head about my teaching schedule next semester.

When I got home I raced through putting dinner together, hopped in the shower, and then sped off to school to pick up the kids. I came back home, woke Nathan up from his nap and put him in the car. We dropped the girls off at their ceramics class and started towards Nathan's flu shot appointment--we'd only driven a few blocks when the car suddenly filled with smoke. I pulled over and before I could even get the hood up a couple of people had stopped to help. I borrowed one of their cell phones (I do have a really ancient phone but its battery only lasts about an hour so I never carry it) and called Neil at home. Normally I wouldn't have been able to get in touch with him, since he would be in his lab, but today I actually knew where he was! At least six people stopped and asked if I was okay and if there was anything they could do to help in the ten minutes while I was waiting for Neil. Once he got there with the Jeep, I was able to take the boys to Nathan's appointment while Neil checked out the van. By the time we needed to pick the girls up, it had cooled down sufficiently that Neil deemed it safe to drive and we made it almost all the way home before it started smoking again and we transferred everyone to the Jeep.

Once we were home, Neil made a few calls around town and found that this particular part--which he had replaced last week and had basically exploded in the car--was in stock in one local store. When it had gone bad originally, we had to special-order it and wait almost a week for it to arrive. I was able to pick up the part tonight and brought it back in time to have some fun family time before bed (the kids start their fall break tomorrow and I'd promised caramel corn and a showing of the 1949 Legend of Sleepy Hollow).

At some point during all this I posted a Facebook status about how grateful I was for all the silver linings I'd seen in what was actually not a very lovely day, but that I had constantly felt the Lord's love through all of the unexpectedly miraculous occurrences that followed something that was otherwise awful.

When I sat down to start grading after the kids were in bed, I remembered the earlier feeling that I should email my department head. So I did. Minutes later I got back a very kind email saying that he thought I'd known that I had to take a semester off from teaching due to university guidelines about the number of consecutive semesters of employment for my particular job designation, but that he hoped I would be available to teach again next fall.

Friends, you can imagine how devastated I was. I have worked like crazy throughout all of the time we've been in grad school to try to give our family some semblance of a normal life that doesn't reflect seemingly endless higher education--I've wanted us to be able to be free from arguments about money, I've wanted to be able to go on vacations that bind us together as a family, and I've wanted to be able to go to the grocery store and feel like it was okay to spend money on foods that would keep us healthy. We are so fortunate in that we have no car or student loans, but this has been the result of a lot of hard work--and I felt like all of that was just being swept away from me, especially as Neil and I have really been worrying about our budget lately with mounting costs of living while his graduate stipend is still the exact same that it was 8.5 years ago when we started.

So. I cried a lot, and started brainstorming different avenues and trying to figure out what I could do, and then as I was driving out with Neil to go try to bring the van home again I started praying for peace, and I realized what had been happening all day...the Lord knew what was coming. And he knew how devastating it would be for me, and how I would need a lot of faith to get through the impending job search and ensuing weeks and months of major changes for our family.

And so he gave me this day. A day where I saw his hand at every turn of events. A day where I saw tiny miracle after tiny miracle click into place. A day where I felt--over and over and over--like there truly is someone in heaven who cares so deeply and so intensely about the things that are important to me and the things that are difficult to me, no matter how small those challenges are in the grand scheme of things.

And so I know that things will work out. I know without any doubt that whatever will happen will be the best possible outcome for our family, because I absolutely know that the Lord loves us, and he cares, and he is watching out for us. And I am so grateful beyond my ability to express it that he gave me this day so that I could know that in my very soul.

Girls' Weekend

l-r: Mom, Rosalind (holding Adelaide), Elise, Mary Beth, me, Ruth

Way back in July, my amazing family surprised me with a plane ticket out to Park City and a plan for a girls weekend! I am the oldest of five sisters (no boys) and over the past few years I've been a bit sad about the fact that all of my sisters live within 40 minutes of each other whereas I am a looong 22 hours in the car away (I am lucky enough to live just a few hours from my parents, but my mom has been spending the last few months living with one of my sisters helping out with her newborn while her husband is deployed AND she is going to school full-time). So you can imagine my excitement when they told me that we were spending a weekend at a gorgeous condo (which Ruth had tracked down--such an awesome choice!!) and that Neil had cleared his schedule to hang out at home with our children!!

 

So last Wednesday evening I found myself on a plane heading west! I did cry a few (okay a lot) of tears leaving my little family, but I was SOOOO excited to see my mom & sisters!

My sisters Mary Beth & Elise (#2 and #4) picked me up from the airport and I spent the night at Mary Beth's. Mary Beth and I shared a room most of the years we were growing up and it was fun to lie there in the dark talking again...although fortunately I've outgrown the tendency to hide under her bed and grab her ankles when she gets up for a drink of water! (I did remind her of that and she told me good luck squeezing under her bed and that if I was indeed successful that I'd find a lot of rabbit fur there from her cute bunny Hazel.)

The next day Elise and I got up SUPER early and went to the Draper temple together while Mary Beth packed up. It was the first time we'd gone to the temple together (with the exception of Elise's wedding last summer, but we weren't really hanging out chatting then! This time we were able to go to the celestial room before we left and talk quietly for half an hour or so--it was wonderful!)

Elise and I had a very gourmet (but delicious!) breakfast of 7-11 hot chocolate and donuts on our way home (my sisters live in the same apartment complex) and then the three of us headed up the canyon to Park City.

My mom & other two sisters were joining us later that evening, so we had a few things on our itinerary until we could check into the condo. First things first--horseback riding! Total bucket list thing for me--I've ridden my fair share (we had a pony when I was a kid and I had a couple of good friends with horses growing up) but I have never done a trail ride through the mountains in the fall. Lots of TripAdvisor research led me to one particular stable that had great reviews, especially for one particular trail guide, who turned out to be absolutely fantastic! 

 Mary Beth & I busied ourselves with the very important business of taking selfies whilst hanging on to the corral bars and pretending like we were in some sort of updated-to-2014 Louis L'Amour novel...

This might be my favorite photo from the entire weekend. Elise's horse was HUGE--we found out later that he was half draft horse--and she totally had to scramble up into the saddle, and it was quite the process! I took this photo just as she FINALLY made it into the saddle after a few false starts (his back was way taller than she is and the stirrups were about five holes too long) and I die laughing every time I look at her face.

My horse, however, was the puny one of the group. Ironic since I am the tallest of the three of us.

My sisters were laughing at me as I hopped wildly up and down trying to keep myself warm--fortunately Mary Beth was kind enough to loan me a hoodie to layer over my jacket! Couldn't fit much in my carry-on...

 I took 93 photos on our ride, but I will spare you most of them...just a few gems.

After a blissful couple of hours riding around the mountains we (bowleggedly) made our way back down and had a little picnic on a nice grassy spot. More selfies!

Then we checked into our gorgeous condo at the base of one of the ski resorts (we were literally at the base & the very closest condos to the lifts--I would LOVE to stay there in winter!) and took a few extremely glamorous shots to send to the other three ladies who were on their way up. 

 And here's the view from the hot tub...        



After we unpacked all of the groceries we decided to go exploring. We discovered that the nearby
(really ritzy) St. Regis resort had a funicular that went up the mountain and landed you near some of the hiking trails. The photo below is the view from inside the funicular.

 And a few photos from our hike.

We had dinner at a nearby cafe (absolutely outstanding; I had some divine lime salmon tacos) and hung out in the hot tub waiting for Ruth, Rosalind, and my mom to arrive.

The next morning we decided to introduce them to the wondrous funicular...

 Elise, me, & Rosalind (my youngest sister)

 I love this photo! Doesn't Rosalind look like an ad for an beautiful & adventurous mother? Her sweet three-month-old daughter Adelaide is in the front carrier.

Sadly Ruth (sister #3) and Mary Beth didn't accompany us on this particular jaunt--neither of them were feeling particularly well and so they kept each other company at the condo.

I love this photo--four versions of the same smile.

Cute baby Adelaide (and my head). I think she started screaming about 2 seconds after this photo was taken--she really liked me at first until she figured out that every time I picked her up I swaddled her, stuffed a pacifier in her mouth, and rocked her to sleep when all she REALLY wanted to do was be awake during naptime. Sorry, kiddo, your five cousins have already broken me in.

When we got back to the condo we went to downtown Park City and wandered Main Street for awhile--very fun way to spend a few hours! We had an interesting lunch that was pretty good (I had a roasted beet salad and lobster bisque) but was marred by the unfortunate appearance of a few insects that resulted in our appetizer being on the house, although none of us were really interested in it after its previous incarnation had an unwelcome fly cooked into it, but I did get this lovely photo of my mom holding Adelaide.



And we hit our quota of uncontrollable giggling in the trading post...
 


When we went back to the condo everyone else was kind of in a resting mood but I wasn't, so I went for a solo run up the nearby ski hill (or mountain, as Elise corrected me the next day after I convinced her to accompany me for a second trip!). It was just amazingly beautiful and I spent a lot of time thinking about how earlier this summer my foot was so badly injured that I was hobbling around on crutches, and now I was able to clamber up a series of black-diamond runs that were the site for Olympic events. I'm so grateful for the blessing of a healthy and capable body--I've had enough times in my life where I've been sidelined (hello, three pregnancies with bedrest!) that I'm just so grateful every time I can do something like this.




That night we went out for an AMAZING dinner (thanks, Mom & Dad!) where I ate about five times as much as was good for me. I was full after the awesome salad bar but proceeded to eat an 8-oz prime rib, steak fries, and a piece of flourless chocolate cake (then I went home and just laid on the floor).

So the next day I figured I better do what I could to work off that meal because I still felt like I NEVER wanted to eat again, so I talked Elise into doing the mountain climb with me and I am SO glad she said yes! We just had an awesome couple of hours talking about anything and everything, and it was a really transcendent experience.

Plus she had her phone with her so we got some pictures. :-)

This is the summit looking down on the ski lift that runs up the back side of the mountain. We looked it up later on the map and it was 2 miles one way with an elevation gain of about 1,600 feet (we started about 7,000 feet up so the oxygen was considerably less than what I'm used to in my sea-level home town!).

Couldn't resist...

Some day I'm going to come back and ski this bowl. Just breathtaking.






























I saw a mule deer when I ran through these woods alone the previous day, but Elise and I were a little too loud to see much wildlife. :-)




Early in the morning, sweaty, and no makeup--but we felt so alive and beautiful and strong and amazing!! This was about halfway up...can you see the parking lot down where we started?

When we got back, everyone was just about ready to start the awesome craft that Rosalind had put together--all kinds of cool Nordic/Christmas-themed embroidery patterns for napkins. It was so much fun and kept us occupied during all our downtime for the next couple of days (yep, I still hadn't bothered to take a shower).




Then we went into town for everyone to get manicures & pedicures. When we originally made the appointment I opted out, and I was still pretty insistently opting out until everyone else was almost done and my mom finally told one of the technicians that I would be getting a pedicure and told me to just accept it as a gift and let my feet be pampered a bit.

So I did (thanks again, Mom & Dad!). I am not really a pedicure kind of person so this was my first one! (I was so blissed out in this photo--foot rub AND a massage chair AND one of my favorite books? Simultaneously?!)

Then we all sat around and waited for our nails to dry and my mom tried really hard to get a nice photo of all of us and I was sort of not very helpful to that endeavor.

And dinner at a cafe overlooking the lake on our way home...Ruth and Mary Beth smiling beautifully!

 

All five sisters together, just before we left the cafe and went for a beautiful drive in the mountains (thanks, Ruthie, for suggesting that!).

That night we went back to the condo and watched a couple of movies back-to-back (which if you know my family and especially my mom is a big rarity--we grew up without a TV and we always tease my mom about telling us to go to bed as soon as someone suggests a movie!, but it was so fun doing that together!) while we stitched away industriously at our napkins. The next day we went to church in Park City (quite entertaining because we ended up sitting on the third row of folding chairs in the foyer!) and then went back for a lovely lunch at Elise & Paxton's apartment; Ruth's husband Jordan and darling daughter Evelyn also came up and it was SO fun to see them--sadly my iPad is not feeling like sharing those photos, which is a real bummer.

And then Mary Beth took me the airport and I said goodbye to my beloved mountains and thought how lovely it is to have a birth family that I adore, hate to leave, and can't wait to see, and a Neil & co. family that I adore, hate to leave, and can't wait to see. Lucky lucky me.