i have been one acquainted with the night

Usually I'm not a huge fan of Robert Frost, probably because of the entire semester I spent in IB English my senior year diagramming his poems (when I would rather have been discussing Anna Karenina), but it seemed appropriate in this case.

I am happy to report, however, that in this case my acquaintance with the night was with the actual outside night rather than pacing-the-floor-with-infant kind of night. Juliet seems like she's beginning to get a better grasp on this whole sleeping thing, so I was able to go work out this morning. It's funny how much I missed being up before the rest of the world. Having kids means I usually never get to go anywhere after the sun sets, and it was lovely this morning to look up at the stars and then watch the sun rise. And feel that first crispness of the air which means my absolute favorite time of year is on its way--FALL!!!! Hurrah for apple cider, pumpkins, sweaters, football games, and crunchy leaves. I love love love fall! Neil and I used to have a tradition that we would go up into the mountains every year to drive the Alpine Loop and look at the first fall colors. I sorely missed that last year--we'll have to find an alternate route around here, although it won't quite be the same, since the Alpine Loop drive was our second date. Oh, memories. I love that man. How could a girl not want to marry someone who brings home-grown apples and the last of his Philippino dried mangos on such a drive? (and who handed her a sack of yummy brownies when she opened the door on their first date, and then proceeded to follow it up with peach leather and popcorn while we watched an outdoor movie on the grass by Heritage Halls? I knew I'd keep dating him when the brownies came out, and knew he was a keeper when I saw the peach leather!)

In other news, I may not be blogging much over the next week or so—I’m heading up to my parents’ house with the girls so that Neil can get in some seriously intense studying for the quals, which are only two weeks away! Keep him in your prayers!

count your many blessings

One:
The husband who snuck out of our room this morning with the wide-awake baby, waylaid the toddler, and kept them both quiet and happy until I bolted out of bed at 9:10 this morning and realized that I had slept in--glory be--and actually felt human for the first time in 3 weeks.



Two:
The darling little girl who told me importantly that she was a "good dob helper!" and proceeded to help me make quiche (adding her own secret ingredient--nutmeg--when I wasn't looking), and rolls for lunch (she decided she liked eating the raw bread dough and licking the sugar measuring spoon), and fold laundry.

The quiche turned out really well, in case you were wondering. Maybe she's got something there with the nutmeg!



Three:

The sweet little baby who watched all these proceedings wide-eyed from her bouncy seat and fell asleep just in time for us to enjoy a quiet lunch (with Daddy! Yay! He stayed home and studied all morning and came out for some good family time. We will miss him next week when we go to Michigan--today was our "surrogate Saturday," at least insofar as breakfast and lunch were concerned. So nice to have him around).

Tales of a "bankee"

On Abigail's first Christmas, my sisters gave her a green fleece blanket that they'd made themselves. Originally, it was a lovely fluffy fleecy cloud of a blanket with carefully tied fringed ends, with each fringe exactly the same length.

Abigail fell in love with this blanket, to the point of distraction. To the point where, if this blanket had been human, her affection for it certainly would have merited a Shakespearean play or two.

The "green monster," as Neil began to refer to it, soon became a fixture around our house. At first, its insinuation was gradual...a sort of backdrop blankie, if you will.

But then it slowly began to gain prominence...

Soon, we weren't quite sure where the blanket ended and Abigail began. In fact, in our cross-country move, at times she disappeared entirely.

We didn't mind it so much when the blanket was more of a bedtime fixture. After all, we reasoned, all children have their "lovies."

But then the blanket began to pop up everywhere. It was a necessity when meeting new people...like Grandpa Steve.

Or when walking across the room.

The blanket got to go on all sorts of exciting activities from which Mommy and Daddy were barred...

When it really started to get a bit obsessive was when we noticed that not only did she carry the blanket around while sucking her thumb, but she held onto a piece of fringe in her clenched hand and then inserted the fringe in her nose. We watched in somewhat disturbed fascination while she would turn the blanket around and around searching for the longest fringe available. Neil began referring to the "Goliath fringes," since they would get stretched out through the constant pulling and tugging. Some reached the length of four inches, quite impressive since they all started out less than an inch long.

Over time, we noticed that the ultimate accolade of Abigail's love was when she would willingly share her blanket. This was quite rare and generally confined to Mommy (and occasionally Daddy). Rosalind's attempt to use the blanket as a pillow was met with frantic shrieks of "No, no, NO!" and frenzied stamping; Abigail's best friend was dragged off by the hair when she lay down on the blanket.

Occasionally when sharing it with Mommy, she will generously search out a fringe and proffer it, asking kindly "Fringe in nose, Mommy?" and seem quite disappointed when her offer is turned down. She's an eternal optimist; I have learned that I need to quickly wake up when Abigail and her blankie come into my room in the morning, since otherwise I will be woken up by an unpleasant tickling in my nose.

Over the past two years, the blanket has continued to enjoy a special place in Abigail's heart (and nose).

It made a recent camping trip possible:

and consoled her in the morning of that trip when Mommy burned her pancakes.

It got her through a nasty bout of stomach flu:

So you can imagine how shocked, surprised, and touched I was to turn around and see this yesterday afternoon:

Apparently, Abigail has decided that Juliet's a keeper.

thoughts

Random items:

• Five minutes ago as I kissed Neil hello/goodbye on my way in from the gym and his way out to basketball, I reflected on how very glad I will be when a) his qualifiers are over and b) Jules is sleeping through the night. Thus far this week the most "quality" time we have spent together is a fifteen minute haircut that I gave him tonight...the ten-minute dinners don't count. But it was a nice chatty haircut!
• It will be nice when someday we can afford to hire a babysitter so we can both go places at night at the same time. Ahhhh...luxury. Our 5-8 pm date night group is/was great, but imagine going somewhere at 9 pm together! Crazy!! Something to look forward to after graduation. :-)
• Quote today which really made me think: "More people have obtained a testimony while standing up trying to bear it than down on their knees praying for it" (Brigham Young).
• Nice things today: going to institute and the playground. I felt like I got a little boost and Abigail had fun too!
• I am so grateful for all the wonderful comments you all made on my post yesterday--I definitely was having a "downer" day and those really helped me to shift my perspective.
• I really don't like running (on sidewalks/trails as opposed to an elliptical) but I'm going to start trying to run a couple of mornings a week. I only seem to have time to get to the gym in the evenings, since a very night-owl infant doesn't seem to make for a 5:30 am trip to the gym, which means I'm happy and energized at night, but I really want to be that way during the day...so my goal for both my happiness and that of my family is to try to get out for a quick run before everyone else is up. We'll see if it happens, but I'm really hoping that will help me to get started on my day with a more positive attitude.

Today I was reading the article in BYU Magazine about an alumnus who'd had an incredibly successful career as a broadcast journalist (she was the one interviewing Martha Stewart when MS said "I just want to concentrate on my salad) and who achieved her "dream job" after 12 years: being a mother.

I was both inspired and depressed by the article. Inspired because it's always good to have my faith in the power and importance of motherhood affirmed (and so eloquently), but also depressed because a lot of the time I feel like I have such an incredibly important job as a mother and I'm not doing a very good job at it, or at least the kind of job that my children deserve. Or at least I feel like sometimes the way I approach motherhood doesn't really affirm it as the most important thing I could be doing. I don't know exactly.

For some reason I feel like being a Good Mother entails having a lot of exciting activities going on with a definite de-emphasis on "me time," or what I end up thinking of as "selfish time." True confession: I am so bored by crayons and play-doh that I rarely get them out, and this makes me feel a bit sub-par, especially when I worry that my children will lack basic coloring skills or fine motor movement or something as a result. And I feel like I spend way too much time dragging Abigail (and now Jules) along on my daily agenda, whether it's actually going out somewhere or just doing things like laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. All of which are things that need to be done, but still. I guess my house can't run like a high-class daycare all the time with enriching kid-centered activities, but I feel pretty guilty that it doesn't. I do read to her/them every day, which is probably the sole redeeming feature of many days, but...I think many times I end up being more beset with guilt when reading about how wonderful mothers are and what an amazing and honorable calling motherhood is. I just feel like I'm not quite doing it.

It's hard for me to transition mentally from a very results-oriented mindset in academia, where I always have measurable progress and achievements with people consistently giving me feedback on my work, to one where the only feedback I get is my own comparison with an ideal that seems highly doable at 7 am and far out of reach at 8 pm. It's also hard to realize that I can't accomplish everything I used to be able to do--add to this equation the fact that I seem to be constitutionally unable to procrastinate and I'm a compulsive listmaker--and that the only thing I might actually "accomplish" all day is prepare (and clean up) meals, cycle through load of laundry or two, and make my bed. It's sure hard to measure the intangibles of the actual child-rearing bit.

I know this isn't anything new or ground-breaking and that just about every woman who's ever had children has dealt with this, and after two years you think I'd have it figured out, but keep on being patient with me!

On a different note, I did have good moments today: Abigail and I had a wonderful time together at the library with her sitting on my lap while we read stories and put together puzzles, and I really enjoyed my quiet time with Jules today while Abigail was napping. There's nothing quite as sweet as having teeny tiny little hands around your neck while a soft little head burrows into your shoulder...unless it's a toddler rapturously throwing her arms around your neck and saying "I love you, my mommy!" They really are wonderful little girls, and I hope they don't mind being my guinea pigs as we work all this parenting stuff out together.

note to my sisters:

when you are evaluating prospective husbands, look for men who will willingly go out at 10:30 pm to buy antifungal cream for a diaper rash, leave at 2 am to go drive around a refusing-to-sleep baby, and still have sympathy left to console a distraught wife who phones them at work the next day tearfully convinced that she is not cut out to be a successful mother.

that's the kind of man you want to marry.

one more...

ok, I know I already posted (a lot) today. But these just were too classic...

My squeeze-Abigail-because-she's-so-cute moments from today:

• our spiderweb hunt: Abigail and I went from room to room with the vacuum (while Juliet napped). Abigail would circle the room pointing out "bah-der-webs" and I would vacuum them up. So our house (except for my room) is entirely bahderweb free! Her shouts of glee when she found each spiderweb were totally priceless.
• popcorn in the shower: some of our friends brought over some popcorn drenched in white chocolate tonight (very yummy). Abigail was devoted to it and toted it around for the rest of the evening, which we were spending outside doing yard work. When we came in, completely filthy, and all headed for the shower, I didn't notice for a good two minutes that Abigail had taken the paper bag of popcorn into the shower with her. It took a lot of cajoling before she would consent to let her popcorn "wait" on the floor outside the shower.

i'm off to join the club...

If you've ever put Abigail to bed or down for a nap, you probably (hopefully it wasn't a nightmare for you) know that she'll go down with relative ease.

With one exception.

Everything in her room has to be in its exact, proper, Abigail-assigned place.

Today we picked up all the books from the living room which we'd read this morning after our walk and put them in the bookcase. I made the mistake of putting all the Little Golden Books in at once to save time and was promptly remonstrated and denied any further opportunity to help in the following eloquent fashion: "No, Mommy. Mine do it self."

So I sat on her bed and watched her painstakingly put in each Little Golden Book (and believe me, there were many) one at a time, perfectly lined up, each right-side up with the spine facing outward.

Then she looked around her room for other items out of place. She carefully aligned the rocking horse parallel to the baseboards. She picked up her green ball, carried it across the room, and set it down against the wall a foot away from her bed, moving it over an inch or so to ensure exact placement. Then she looked around in amazement and exclaimed "My bike!"

We made a trip to Mommy's room to find her little plastic ride-on toy, which she had insisted on riding around the house this morning since she was "go-ee work like Daddy." We then proceeded to "carry it both together" back to her room, where she carefully set the bike down parallel to the head of her bed. Actually, I set it down on a slight angle; she immediately fixed it, moving it an inch at a time until it was absolutely perfect.

Finally, it was time to get into her bed. Again, she insisted "climb in bed mine self," so I obediently waited until I was instructed to collect her assortment of stuffed friends which she insists on napping with, namely "dummy, baby, dolly, and puppy. And dolly blankie!" (We're still working on "dummy." She'll refer to all other rabbits as "bunny," but this one seems to be stuck with her original version of the word...sigh.)

I made the mistake of putting all her toys into her arms, which was the preferred method last week, but again, Abigail corrected my ignorance by showing me this week's placement: Baby and Dummy in her arms with Dolly and Puppy lying upside down near her waist. Dolly also had to be covered--just on the feet--with her special blanket (the doll's blanket, not Abigail's). Then finally we were set--I sang her two good-night songs, kissed her, and shut the door.

Never a dull moment with this kid, I tell you. Speaking of which, this is for you, Elise: Abigail requested this morning that I sing the "Won, Won, Won Weezy!" song this morning.

For the uninitiated, just click on the Youtube video. Warning: it gets sort of addicting. And it won't leave your head.

Potter Puppet Pals in The Mysterious Ticking Noise

conversations with abigail

I haven't written any of my little Abigail moments on here for awhile, so here's one that gave us a few chuckles:

Me: Abigail, tonight you are going to Elise's house while Mommy and Daddy go on a date.

Abigail: Oh.

Me: Do you know what a date is?

Abigail: No.

Me: A date is how mommies and daddies have fun together, and how mommies and daddies become friends. Mommy and Daddy sat by each other in class one day and became friends. Then they got married and decided to have an Abigail baby.

Abigail: Oh. I have two fathers.

Neil: Two fathers?

Abigail: Dey live in my room.

Neil: What are their names?

Abigail: Father and father.

Neil: Oh. What is my name?

Abigail: Mommy.

it's been one of those days.

the kind where the two-year-old wakes every up by doing laps around your bed and yelling "wake up mommy! wake up daddy! WAKE UP BABY!!!"

the kind where she pulls herself up onto the bed by grabbing a fistful of her daddy's leg hair as a handle.

the kind where it begins to sheet rain just when you're ready to go mow the lawn.

the kind where you get to pizza hut, anticipating one of your family's very favorite things ever, for which you have been waiting four months (as you only go when you have to get new clothes for the little people, as a sort of bribe for everyone to go through with the shopping), and are told that they are no longer serving a buffet on saturdays. the kind where you have to explain this to the two-year-old who has been hopping up and down saying "yummy yummy pee-zuh! yummy yummy pee-zuh! pee-zuh! pee-zuh! yummy yummy pee-zuh!"

the kind where you purposefully left the house at lunchtime for several hours of shopping because you were planning on aforesaid pizza hut buffet, and you really can't justify spending a lot of money on lunch somewhere more upscale.

the kind where the two-year-old cries the entire way home after the much-curtailed shopping trip, which did not extend to getting your husband basketball shoes to replace the ones which are currently losing pieces of themselves every time he plays basketball.

the kind where once you get home, the two-year-old refuses to do anything but sit in her high chair sucking her thumb with her blanket on the tray in front of her. she will not lie down with the blanket on her bed or let it go to eat her lunch...nay, she will simply sit in the high chair with it and scream loudly if anyone attempts her removal.

the kind where your two-year-old refuses to nap, period, and your newborn condescends to nap until you fall asleep.

the kind where the people in front of you in line at wal-mart pay in exact change, very leisurely, for the biggest cartload of groceries you've ever seen in your life, after repeatedly double-checking the cashier's scanning of each item.

the kind where your children soil their diapers in tandem.

the kind where you spend forty-five minutes feeding your infant, who then does a herculean imitation of mt. vesuvius and vomits spectacularly all over both of you. so spectacularly, in fact, that it runs back down into her eyes.

the kind where after washing aforesaid baby, the floor, and your clothes, she begins crying for more nourishment.

the kind where, at the end of the day, you take comfort in the fact that at least you saved the pizza hut money, you did get the girls some winter clothes, you were forced to do a great deal of laundry, thereby saving yourself the effort on monday, and that you now relish, more than ever, the fact that you have a wonderful husband who was around during the entire gruesome day so that the two of you could tag-team it. and the two of you also made pesto-mozzarella-tomato panini on sourdough for dinner, which almost made up for the entire rest of the day. and in the fact that it's over, you're temporarily off-duty (until the next feeding), and you have a large carton of fudge tracks slow-churned Edy's ice cream in the freezer and a few good movies from the library. you realize that in the grand scheme of things a day like this is probably natural, since you enjoyed a wonderful relaxing date with your sweetie last night, so a yucky day today sort of evens it out for the weekend.

and in the fact that you must now end this post because your wonderful husband just started making watermelon smoothies for the two of you to enjoy. bless that man.

so...the expression "sleeping like a baby" was not brought into general use by anyone who had ever been around a child.

this is how my baby sleeps: she wuffles, sighs, squeaks (from both ends), coos, giggles, chokes, you name it, she does it. she has an entire repertoire of noises designed to wake the most peacefully slumbering adult into a state of adrenaline-charged panic, sure that she is being smothered by her sleeve only to find that she is apparently, once again, having a nightmare. presumably about the nose-sucker, which is the only scary thing in her life. other than abigail, whose loving ministrations tend to be a bit heavy-handed.

goodies

One of the things I've enjoyed most about this summer is all the yummy goodness I've been able to store up for the winter. For some reason, whenever I preserve/can/freeze food I feel like sticking out my tongue at the grocery store and saying "nah nah nah" or whatever it is that you say when you're five years old and being obnoxious. Just generally a sort of "hah! didn't have to buy that from you at outrageous prices!"

Speaking of which, one of the things I am most excited about this year is my dried tomatoes. I love sun-dried tomatoes. They're one of my little splurges that I make every six months or so (because I can't really justify spending six dollars for an equivalent number of ounces). In fact, I love sun-dried tomatoes so much that my friend Natalee gave me some as a gift last year, and I thought that was so cool because it meant that she really knew what I would be super excited about.

Anyway, my friend Andrea loaned me her dehydrator, and I have been drying tomatoes like a maniac. I have three quart-sized Ziploc bags full of them...which is a LOT of dried tomatoes. Neil keeps coming home and saying "More tomatoes? Why? Stop!" but I like them and also it's a lot easier to dry our garden bounty than to can it.

But I really have loved having a garden this year, despite all the work it's entailed, because it's been so nice to feel like I'm sort of getting a head start on keeping our grocery bill down this year. This is what I've stored away in our pantry/freezer:

• frozen zucchini
• frozen crooked-neck squash
• frozen green beans
• frozen corn
• dried tomatoes
• roasted bell peppers
• jalapeno jelly
• peach jam
• canned peaches
• applesauce
• frozen strawberries
• strawberry jam
• strawberry freezer jam
• frozen blueberries
• fresh salsa

And this is what I still have left to do:

• dilly beans
• frozen/canned tomatoes (probably just frozen)

The beans, squash, zucchini, peppers, and tomatoes all came from our garden. We had lots of fun picking the other things at all the local u-pick farms and orchards and then turning things into jams, jellies, salsa, or just sticking them in bottles and canning them. Definitely one perk to living here!

gratitude journal part 2

Once upon a time I wrote this post about the Thankful Wall. If I had a Thankful Wall in my kitchen these days, I would have written these up there today:

• The Ensign. I just love it. I wish it came out more frequently, since the two half-hours of reading it on the elliptical are the highlight of my workouts every month. This month's is really a gem.


• My girlies who are both so beautiful and happy. Jules seems to have the same sweet temperment that makes Abigail such a delight.


• the US postal service. how cool is it that fun things come right to your mailbox every day?


• Abigail's pigtails...they are so cute


• The wonderful friend who made the frozen chicken pot pie that I defrosted for dinner tonight


• Disposable diapers


• Endorphins. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful endorphins.


• Amazon.com, that purveyor of reduced-price textbooks


• My husband, who doesn't mind if I disappear at early or late hours and run off to the gym


• Ceiling fans


• The general amazingness of our physical bodies...what a blessing. I always feel particularly grateful for this gift while I'm working out, since it makes me feel so good. I know it's kind of weird to realize gosh, the plan of salvation is great because it makes it so I can work out and feel happy, but that's always when it really hits home to me. That and right after a baby is born.


• Abigail's willingness to pick up all her toys


• Fresh tomatoes from the garden


• Clean bathrooms


• A husband who will de-cricket my shoes when I scream hysterically after putting my shoes on, feeling something inside, and pulling it out (I thought it was a really big black spider)


• The smell of freshly-washed children (ah, Johnson & Johnson...)


• J.K. Rowling...I'm rereading them all again, and they just get better and better!


• Broadway soundtracks


• an incredibly thoughtful aunt and uncle who sent Abigail and Juliet darling little clothes today (see below)

How about you? What are you grateful for today?

pictures

In no particular order, I give you...pictures. In vast quantities.



Ruth eating a spoon


Juliet hides from the paparazzi


Elise demonstrates how simple and delicious grilled pesto, mozarella and tomato sandwiches really are

Abigail begged me to "takie pikshur pretty hair!"

Starting off with good nutritional habits

Rosalind cuddling the nieces

Putting the fam to work shucking 100 ears of corn

The farmer's market (or "monster market" as Abigail calls it. I don't know why)

Juliet's rakishly tilted hat

Rosalind attacking a pecan roll. Run for your lives, pecan rolls!

Elise pinned to the mat by an 8-lb opponent

Mary Beth just being cute (with various sprawled bodies in the background)

Abigail with her favorite pals: Papa and the Cheez-Its

Ruthie

Neil and Dad survey their manly setup of canning apparatuses (apparati?)

My sweetie

Elise checking out the damage to her hands after she tried to climb up a brick wall

Mary Beth shows off her BYU chef skills at frosting brownies

Elise suggests tomatoes as an alternative to collagen injections in one's lips

Abigail the architect (glory be, this kept us entertained for almost two hours this morning!)

Oh, what a lovely family I have. They sure are a fun bunch (although there are no pictures of Mom on this because I didn't get them from her camera, so email some to me!)

On that note, last night I had a nightmare that I was having stomach pain and I went to the doctor and he said "Oh, you probably had twins. The second one just didn't come out yet." The reason why this counts as a nightmare is because I spent a goodly portion of time around 1 am crying when I realized that Juliet wanted to eat...again (for some reason she decided that every three hours wasn't enough and she preferred to eat every hour from 7 pm until 1 am). The little rascal was, well, lots of fun tonight. Let's just say that poor Neil didn't make it to work very early today, since he took pity on his wife who had slept 4 hours out of the last 40 and walked the floor with a very wide awake baby.

and speaking of babies, one of the women in our ward threw a "pregnant girls party" in July. Here's a picture of us in order of due dates (going from July 21 on the right hand side and end of December on the left hand side). the party was a really fun idea--i think there were 17 women in our ward due to deliver before the end of december! crazy!! (the four of us on the right have all now had our babies)

Thank you!

My wonderful G'ma Colleen has always emphasized to me the importance of thank you notes. She has trained me so well that I always have an uncomfortable jittery feeling until my thank yous are in the mail (or hand-delivered, if I'm low on stamps!) And I always love opening up a thank you note addressed to me--number one, it's nice to know that whatever it was actually made it to the recipient; number two, it's nice to feel appreciated.

Right now I have a running list on my 'fridge of thank you notes that need to be written (I try to stay fairly on top of things, but we have been blessed with an outpouring of wonderful acts of service and gifts with Juliet's birth!) and while I was working my way down the list today, I was reflecting on how blessed I am in general in my life. I've been thinking about this most of the day, and when I was reading stories to the girls this afternoon with Abigail snuggled up on one side and Juliet asleep on my shoulder I was just incredibly grateful for my two healthy beautiful girls and my wonderful husband who is so appreciative of the role of motherhood. So thank you to them and for them!

whirlwind

This morning was pretty exciting. Everyone woke up pretty early, so by around 8:30 we were starting to look for things to do. I put away all my maternity clothes and got out all my "regular" clothes; then we went to the playground for an hour and a half and then to the grocery store after that. It all went well, but it was definitely a bit stressful with both girls.

It's kind of weird for me not to be working right now--this is the first fall that I haven't been doing something school-related since I was five years old, and I definitely miss it. Last night when I was at the gym I was listening to all the students talking about all their new classes, and it made me a bit nostalgic (well, more than a bit). Not necessarily for being in school, because it's nice to not have to worry about homework and tests, but just kind of the student lifestyle and the freedom that Neil and I had when we were first married and didn't have too much in the way of responsibilities (although that also meant we didn't have very intense jobs, which meant not much money, so there were definitely drawbacks!) It's sort of weird to realize that I'm just barely 24 and I have two college degrees and two kids, and I'm actually a full-time stay-at-home mom for the first time in quite a while. Granted, I'll probably teach again during winter semester, but for now I can definitely see the energy that I put into teaching getting sort of frantically directed towards other things...here's hoping my little family survives my frenzied "we must do things!" attitude.

And also, because Juliet cries whenever I'm not holding her but will stop crying if I sit in the rocker at the computer and hold her in my lap, I'm taking Andrea up on her blog tagging thing, since I apparently have a yet-to-be-disclosed amount of time where I am stuck sitting here! So here goes...

Jobs I've held:

• envelope-stuffer for my dad at various different companies
• eyeglasses lab gopher: I washed lenses, worked in the mailroom, tagged frames, etc.
• insurance person (I don't know what to call it)--I typed in insurance info or called collections, etc.
• teaching assistant for an honors science colloquium at BYU. basically, it was a 9 credit class that covered physics, geology, biology, you name it. it was pretty sweet.
• office assistant for a professor in Ancient Studies at BYU (also very fun)
• research assistant in charge of documenting all the TA training at BYU/assembler of information on all the course evals at BYU
• graduate instructor at BYU (teaching freshmen English and technical writing) during my MA program
• lecturer at the university here (teaching technical writing and business writing)
• and of course, being a mom/financial planner/chef/chief nagger, etc.

Movies I can watch over and over:

• The Importance of Being Earnest
• Gone With the Wind
• Forrest Gump
• Shanghai Noon
• Hamlet (the Kenneth Branagh version)

My guilty pleasures:

• Exercise (I know it sounds weird, but it's kind of an indulgence for me. I really love working out).
• Cracklin' Oat Bran
• Wheat Thins and Triscuits
• Reading until very very late at night
• Grocery shopping--I love buying things and I don't feel guilty about buying food like I do about buying clothes

Places I've lived:

• deleted for privacy's sake

Shows I enjoy:

• hmm...seeing as how we don't have a TV...but I do love Seinfeld

What were the first things you thought of when you saw your significant other for the first time?...

• Wow. That guy is really tall. He has nice legs.
• Hmm. That guy would be really good-looking if he did his hair differently. (the first time I actually talked to him, he had done it differently than the first time I saw him in class. The first time I saw him, he hadn't done it at all and it was sort of hanging in his eyes. The next time it was all spiky.)
• I like his shirt.

Places I've been on vacation:

• Big cities: Boston, New York City, Washington D.C., Los Angeles, San Antonio, Albuquerque, Atlanta, Chicago, Salt Lake
• Cool views: Niagara Falls, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, the Tetons, Sunset Beach (S-Carolina)
• Canada: Quebec, Montreal, Niagara Falls
• Europe: England, Wales, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany
• and lots of other assorted places that I am not even going to try to enumerate

Favorite foods:

• homemade whole-wheat bread
• pancakes
• fresh blueberries
• fudge brownies
• roast beef (not the falling apart kind but the kind that you slice off)

Websites I visit daily

• MSN
• Gmail
• blogs!

Body parts I've injured

• My left foot (I shoved my bike pedal through it during a crash)
• My right pinkie (or what's left of it!)
• My right ankle (smashed to the bone when I slipped diving into a pool and hit an underwater concrete barrier)
• The fourth finger on my left hand (chipped the growth plate playing tag in 4th grade)
• and childbirth, for what that's worth

Awards I've won

• lots of forensics stuff (for the uninitiated, that's the speech and drama forensics, not the dead people type)
• various scholarships from BYU and the community, for which I am exceedingly grateful as I got through college without having to pay for it! Neil and I have promised each other that we will fund some similar scholarships when we have a real job because of how much those meant to us as starving students!
• International Baccalaureate diploma (this deserves a line to itself because of the two years of blood, sweat, and tears it cost me!)
• assorted journalism things from high school
• teaching awards from BYU, which actually meant quite a bit to me and made me tear up a bit when i found out
• the obligatory soccer trophies from elementary school
• various 4-H ribbons (I was rather proud of my blue-ribbon peanut butter cookies!)

Nicknames:

• Rach, Raquel...and various others for which my sisters were liberally pounded which I will not mention here

and like Andrea, I tag all those who want to do it!

Abigail, bless her heart, didn't do any "relatives are gone" withdrawal type things today. It probably helped that she spent two hours this morning at a friend's house (while I canned salsa at home! Yay! One less thing to stress about!) and that another friend brought us dinner today so we could read stories and play with her toys rather than trying to juggle dinner preparations with feeding Juliet and entertaining Abigail. It really was a nice day, and I even got to go work out tonight--it was great to get back to the gym after a two-week hiatus. I sure missed my endorphins--taking walks around the neighborhood helped, but it just wasn't the same! All in all, I was very grateful today for supportive friends who made it possible for me to feel like I was easing back into the swing of things and made it so I could get some of the backlog of "to-do" things done and also devote some quality time to Abigail. We really have been blessed in our friends here!

back on the blogging wagon again

I haven't been too faithful about blogging lately, mostly because my family was here and it was too hard to tear myself away from them, but now I'm back in the saddle. We'll see how much blogging actually happens anyway with two children's sleep schedules to work around...

It was really fun to have my family here, especially since I haven't seen my two BYU sisters since Christmas! I don't know how fun it was for them to sleep draped all over the couches and floor, but I sure enjoyed having them here (and putting the many hands to work! We canned several cases of applesauce and worked our way through freezing 7 dozen ears of corn). It was really nice for Abigail to have so much love and attention while I was staggering around in a sleep-deprived state. I was pretty worried about how she would do once everyone left, but she was a total sweetheart last night, even without a nap (and in fact, both Neil and I took accidental naps, but she just cuddled up by me and whispered "Ssshhh...quiet voice" and read her books to herself.

Juliet has been doing interesting sleep-schedule things--last night was a good night because she ended up sleeping on my chest all night with my arms wrapped around her, but she seems to have developed an aversion to her bassinet. Let's hope this doesn't last!--but at least Neil and I both feel well-rested today, and I feel like I have a bit more of a handle on things since I was able to shower and start some laundry before Abigail woke up...and speaking of which, time to go wake her up and start the day!

more to come...

happy fact o' the day:

today i weigh exactly 4 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight.

not too bad!

random thought: should i change the title of my blog? i really like it, but let's face it folks...there's two kiddies around here now. will one be forever scarred if she is not included in the blog title?

princess dolly

On Monday evening, Tyler and Andrea came over with Elise so that Elise could give Abigail this doll as a very thoughtful big sister gift. Since then, Abigail has been carrying it with her everywhere--when she climbed into bed with me this morning, it was with the dolly and all her magnetic clothes in tow.

What I find really endearing about this dolly is that when she was asked what she wanted to name her princess doll, Abigail thought for a moment, then said firmly "Mommy. Her name Mommy."

So Princess Mommy it is!

pretty fly for a white guy

No, it's not my anniversary or anything like that--this just happens to be one of my all-time favorite pictures of Neil. Doesn't he look so happy to be marrying me? Lucky guy.

Anyway, today I am blogging about how cool I think this guy is. Yesterday he told me that his advisor mentioned in their weekly meeting that he was "interested to see how you will handle grad school with two kids." I was thinking about all that's going on in Neil's life as he embarks on the second year of his doctoral program, and I'm pretty impressed by his dedication to every aspect of his life. He always tells me that I'm the one who can get everything done, but I have to say that baton has officially passed to him, if I ever held it in the first place.

Neil works from eight to six at the lab every day. Then he comes home, helps finish up any dinner preparations, eats dinner with us, takes over the dishes, and spends the next two hours just hanging out with his family and doing whatever strenuous labor we've saved up for him that day (like yard work). He never complains if I ask him to come to the store with us or go on a walk or weed the garden, even though those are things I could do perfectly well by myself, thereby giving him a chance to get started on his next project of the evening: studying for the Ph.D. qualifier exams. He studies for three hours every night after Abigail goes to bed, so he usually doesn't get to bed before midnight. The poor guy really only has one outlet: raquetball on Tuesdays with his work buddies (and occasionally basketball on Wednesday nights with the Elders' Quorum, for which he usually ends up going into work super early so he can get some studying done there). And to play raquetball, he has to get up before 6 am and bike to campus so he can get to the court by 7 am and get his fun in without missing out on any work.

Anyway, I have been sooo impressed by Neil's diligence. He never complains about how he has no time to himself or how so much rests on him and he never gets to relax. Instead, he keeps on going cheerfully and praises me for whatever I've done that day rather than noting the things I haven't gotten to. He'll change messy diapers in the middle of the night with nary a word of reproach--he's never said anything like "Honey, why don't you do it, since you don't have to get up early and go to work tomorrow?" What a great man. The best part of my day, every day, is holding hands with him while we fall asleep. In fact, when I was in the hospital last week, I dreamed that I was reaching out for him and when my hand hit the side of the hospital bed and I realized he wasn't there to cuddle with, I woke up and started to cry. That's how much I love this guy. Thank you so much for all that you do for our family, sweetie.

Day 1

Here was my first morning all alone with two kids:

9:14 am frantically wake up and realize that it is late and no little people have woken me up. are they alive? juliet is snoozing soundly. abigail, however, is sitting in the middle of her bed reading chrysanthemum and informs me plantively "hungry, mommy!"

9:16 am begin the process of transforming abigail from a fuzzy-headed hooligan into a child ready for the day

9:25 am abigail is refusing to eat breakfast in her high chair. she wants "snacks on the couch and readie books!" so i collect cereal for both of us, water in a sippy cup for her and a water bottle for me, diaper-changing paraphenalia for juliet, a change of clothes for juliet, extra blankets, and juliet herself and we proceed to the couch, abigail with chrysanthemum firmly in hand

9:50 am all of us are more or less fed and more or less clean. some of us (me) are less than clean, but i will shower later when both girls are down for a nap. right now, i feel that it would be tempting fate to step into the shower when abigail is awake and juliet is so temptingly accessible.

9:55 am various diapers are suddenly unclean

10:05 am diapers are now clean again. how long will this last?

10:06 am out of necessity rather than ambition, some laundry must be done. even though i have done a load every day since i came home from the hospital. laundry is particularly made a necessity today due to the fact that juliet threw up all over my bed at 6 am this morning.

10:10 am in a burst of high spirits, i decide to take the girls for a walk.

10:20 am having spent quite some time collecting all necessary walk paraphenalia, i proceed to the garage. the stroller is in the car, so i muscle it out and unfold it. i put juliet in first, then buckle abigail into the front, then go back into the house to grab abigail's sunglasses.

10:21 am i put on abigail's sunglasses and open the garage door. excited by this, abigail lunges forward in her seat and the stroller folds up on both girls. juliet flops forward and is trapped between the two sections of the stroller; abigail hits the floor of the garage as the stroller tips forward. fortunately she's strapped in, but juliet isn't and begins to slide towards the bottom of the stroller. i am seized by greater terror than i have ever experienced in my entire life. somehow i manage to unfold the stroller again and retrieve juliet, but it immediately collapses again and abigail begins to shriek in terror.

10:23 am i have no idea how, but i somehow manage to unfold the stroller and calm abigail down. i am shaking so hard i can barely dial neil's work number as i tell him that i think i may have permanently injured juliet (who has gone back to sleep, which i interpret as a sign of some serious damage). neil tells me that she is probably fine and tries to calm me down. he also tells me that unlike our other stroller which locks automatically, this one must be manually locked into place so that it doesn't fold up. juliet begins to snore and kicks out rapturously with both feet, which reassures me that she is not maimed for life.

10:30 am still a little shaky, we set out on our walk. abigail insists as we walk that we go "say hi elise and andrea!" so we eventually head over there. abigail and elise end up playing while andrea and i chat. very nice to spend some time talking with her, since it's been a hectic week without any of that type of down time previously.

11:50 am we arrive back home. i change over the laundry, listen to a host of messages on the answering machine from wonderful people offering to bring us dinner or watch abigail--amazing friends!!--put juliet down for the rest of her nap, and feed abigail lunch.

11:54 am while abigail eats lunch, i clean up the house of all the detritus of the morning--toys, books, baby blankets, dishes, etc. it's nice to see it look decent again. my house is always clean twice a day: at lunch and at bedtime.

12:25 pm abigail has finished lunch and gone down for her nap. i begin eating my own lunch and writing down my to-do list.

12:45 pm all done! i begin to think longingly about a shower.

12:46 pm juliet wakes up.

bedtime cutie

Tonight around 7 after Juliet went to bed, Abigail, Neil and I watched part of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone together and ate a big bowl of popcorn. (It was a fairly tumultuous day and all of us sorely needed the downtime.) Abigail loves the Quidditch scenes and clapped her hands gleefully every time a goal was scored and said "Oh no! He fall off!" every time someone was fouled and fell off the broomstick.

When we were praying together before she went to bed, she added to her usual "thank you" list that she was grateful to Heavenly Father for "pop-pop and noovies!" So sweet. She also told me this evening after one of my friends brought us dinner that we needed to "say thank you Gracie's mommy! Thank you, Gracie mommy! Welcome!"

And I find it reassuring that no matter how frustrated she may get during the day (like yesterday when she asked Neil to "take baby out of car" as we were driving) she insists "I kiss Doowy-yet night-night" before she will fall asleep. And she is sooo gentle with her and tells me "softly, Mommy, softly" and kept an eagle eye on Juliet in her bouncy seat while we ate dinner, and loudly said "Oh no! Bankie on face!" every time Juliet nuzzled her face into her blanket, since she knew that blankies over baby heads are a no-no.

So while it's somewhat of a little battle, I think overall Abigail's developing affection for her "beebee sisser" will win out!

my two girlies: all "wapped up and clean!" as Abigail told me delightedly.

i realized i forgot to say this earlier:

Juliet was 7 lbs 13 oz and 20.5 inches long. She was born six days early.

For comparative purposes, Abigail was 8 lbs 9 oz and 20.5 inches long. She was born seven days late.

It's sort of funny to compare the two of them, since Abigail was so plump and round when she was born, since she was two weeks "older" than Jules, who is veerry fragile-looking in comparison. i think it's because they were both the same length, but Abigail had an extra 12 oz of weight that made her look a lot less newborn.