our plan is to begin with juliet right away, and begin with the new baby around 6 weeks or so (once we are not crazy and sleep-deprived and hopefully the baby is on a good intestinal schedule).
Sunday, May 31, 2009
am i crazy?
our plan is to begin with juliet right away, and begin with the new baby around 6 weeks or so (once we are not crazy and sleep-deprived and hopefully the baby is on a good intestinal schedule).
Friday, May 29, 2009
gettin' ready
All of a sudden, I'm realizing that this next baby will be here before we know it--the summer seems to be flying by. Seven and a half weeks still sounds like a long time away, but then when I think "okay, one week until swimming lessons starts, and then the cherries come on, and then we're meeting up with Mary Beth, and oh we need to go to the temple next weekend, and I promised the girls we would go to the waterpark..." it goes fast.
This week I made a list of everything I needed to do/buy/prepare before those last couple of weeks, and so we've been starting to check off items and add things like newborn diapers to our grocery list (which I'm ashamed to say I totally forgot about and we would have had no diapers except I glanced at an old "get before the baby" list from one of my pregnancy books--well-thumbed when I was pregnant with Abigail, totally gathering dust now). For some reason I was thinking I really wouldn't need to do that much in advance, because after all, this is the third baby, and you'd think that we'd be reasonably set, but then I look at my list and it's things like "FIND (and sterilize!!) pacifiers!" because the girls have been using them as toys for their dolls. Or "new washcloths" because a surprising number of our baby washcloths have been used to apply wood stain or the like. Hmm. And making my standard two months' worth of meals and grocery lists, plus freezer meals, is considerably more difficult, since we're starting to get fairly divisive food preferences in our family (question: do you have any recipes for freezer meals that do not involve ground beef or cream soups or black beans? It's quite the challenge).
All in all, though, I'm grateful for this planning phase. I think it's a good adjustment period for all of us, since it helps me feel more calm about adding a third baby to our home, since I know I'm reasonably well-prepared in most ways (too bad you can't store up sleep and patience in the freezer too!) and I really love watching how excited the girls are to put together the baby mobile and fold teeny little socks and the like (and, of course, eavesdropping on their conversation where they discussed the likelihood of a pink-frosted cake at their "big sister party." Love those two).
On a completely unrelated note, I tried to start running again this week. I figured I'd had almost 8 weeks to recover after surgery, and my doctor approved exercise at a "comfortable" level. BIG MISTAKE, as I found out about ten hours later. Let me tell you, even the most wimpy run (2 minutes running, 3 minutes walking, repeated for half an hour) was not welcomed with joy by my abused abdominal ligaments. I was so saddened by this, because I felt absolutely fantastic while I was running, and I had so much energy the rest of the day--it was kind of difficult to make myself stop at the 2-minute mark, and I was really hoping that I'd be able to run for longer the next day, and the next, etc. I keep thinking back to my pregnancy with Juliet and how fabulous it was to be working out and lifting weights all through, whereas this one has been considerably more challenging. On the positive side, I've come a long way since my surgery, when I had shin splints all day after walking a mile when I first came off bedrest. And even if I can't run the way I'd like to, I'm still able to exercise, and that is a very good thing. (And also I think that if I go for some nice long runs around 39 weeks, that baby will make its entrance pretty dang quick.)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
things I've been thinking about
A few nights ago I dreamed I was back in school--law school, to be precise. I stopped in an on-campus bathroom just before going to take a final and I found Juliet in there, crying and entertaining herself with a roll of toilet paper. I quickly calmed her down and took her back to the on-site daycare center, let the employees there know what I thought of them, and rushed off to take my final. I arrived a third of the way through and spent the entire time worrying about Juliet. I couldn't answer most of the questions, despite intensive preparation and studying beforehand. I knew I was in the wrong place.
I woke up and I was so glad that this, right now, is my test. That what I'm learning about right now is being a mother, and that I'm not struggling to balance that with something else that is worthy and worthwhile but not right for me, right now.
Yesterday I was reading a talk from President Uchtdorf from the priesthood session of April conference (have you read the Conference edition yet? It is absolutely fantastic--I come away every day feeling so inspired and motivated). Two points in particular really spoke to me, since I have been worrying a lot lately about whether I am being the kind of mother that my children need right now: "Pause for a moment and check where your own heart and thoughts are. Are you focused on the things that matter most? How you spend your quiet time may provide a valuable clue. Where do your thoughts go when the pressure of deadlines is gone? Are your thoughts and heart focused on those short-lived fleeting things that matter only in the moment or on things that matter most? [. . .] We cannot and we must not allow ourselves to get distracted from our sacred duty. We cannot and we must not lose focus on the things that matter most."
I confess I am easily distracted from mothering. I struggle with balancing exercise, personal time, housecleaning, service, and even scripture time with "mothering time," or time where I am solely focused on my children and not doing anything else simultaneously. I realize that it IS important for your children to see you exercising and reading your scriptures (how else will they see the importance of developing these as habits for themselves?) and for them to pitch in and help out with housework, weeding the garden, or helping out a neighbor. But at the same time, I feel it is very important for me to spend a certain amount of time every day where I am doing nothing but reading stories to them, or sitting on the floor playing with Lincoln Logs, or at the table coloring.
This isn't something I've necessarily worked out to my satisfaction, so I'm not writing about it because I think I have the perfect solution. Yes, I am happier with how I'm spending my time than I was six months ago. And I'm also happier with how I'm spending my time than I was when I was teaching the past two semesters. I love teaching, and I certainly appreciate the extra income, but it is really nice right now to have a slower pace to our lives. I'm not perfect, and I still get frustrated with my kids all the time, and I don't always have dinner ready right when my husband gets home, and some days I opt for a nap rather than exercising, and sometimes I fall asleep before I finish saying my prayers at night.
But I'm getting there, and I'm grateful for my progress, and I'm grateful for my children and for the chance I have to be their mother. And that my job is to be their mother. And that I have a husband who supports me in this, and that I belong to a church that advocates spending your time and talents on things of eternal significance. I'm grateful that I can acknowledge that I'm not perfect, and see that as a cause for renewed determination and a chance to set new goals rather than something that is impossibly disheartening. I'm grateful for an upbringing and a church culture that has taught me to think this way.
A few weeks ago I spoke with a friend that I haven't talked to in years. Literally, it's been about ten years. She was very distraught, and in the course of our conversation she said something that really made me think--she told me that lately she only wants to talk to Mormons, because they are the happiest people she knows.
I'm so grateful for the gospel in my life. I'm so grateful that I am happy, and that I know that my beloved family is sealed to me forever, and that my future is so full of potential--or, as President Monson remarked, "the future is as bright as [my] faith."
Thursday, May 21, 2009
berries and radishes
would you like a radish bouquet too?
Normally at this time of year we would be processing about 50 lbs of strawberries. Sadly, the berry farm that we've visited for the last 3 years has closed (although I must admit to a teeny bit of relief that we are escaping 4-5 hours of picking, since I am having real trouble even weeding around this elephant baby. Seriously, if I bend over for more than 15 minutes I'm nauseated, out of breath, and my stomach hurts for at least an hour afterwards. I am SO glad we put in the raised bed because it has enough room around it that I can sit down while I weed).
So this week I defiantly abandoned my usual "try to buy local" stance and bought 10 lbs of California strawberries (we had to go back to the store on Tuesday when we ran out of the original 4 lbs). We have been eating smoothies galore and chopped strawberries for every meal.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
My name is Juliet and I am almost two
Any wise words on this whole sharing-rooms thing? Our problem seems to be that no matter how tired they are and no matter what time they go to bed, they won't fall asleep until it's completely dark and wake up in the morning at the first sign of dawn (blankets over the windows aren't helping with this).
Plus, now I've got a kid who goes around muttering, "Quiet, devil baby" to herself (said by me under my breath in a moment of weakness when trying to get dinner ready to take to another family with a screeching Juliet leech as my companion in the kitchen).
Should go right along with the "Dam bread!" that electrified the missionaries last week when Jules requested jam on her bread at dinner.
Friday, May 15, 2009
these things are good
This morning while we were folding laundry Abigail said to me, "You're really happy to be a mom and have kids, huh Mommy?" and I said, "I am so happy." And then I thought about that some more, and about how much delight my kids bring me on a daily basis.
Here is our dinner: paninis (chicken, grilled onions, arugula, pickles, tomatoes, and Muenster) with grilled vinegar-cooked potatoes (from the most recent MS Living) and grilled asparagus, tossed with olive oil, salt, and a grind or two of pepper. Delicious and perfect.
I love that perspective.
And I love, love, love playing Lincoln Logs with Abigail (when I was a kid I wanted to be an architect), because her inventiveness constantly delights me. For instance, this little cabin--she built individual pens for each of her animals (built as a part of the house and into the foundation), constructed a little garden off to the side (that's the long line of logs near the gate), popped a swimming pool into the backyard (the blue door) with a swingset nearby, and surrounded the whole thing with a fence to "keep out the wolves." And, of course, as she's building this she also builds Juliet "smash houses," so that Juliet will wreck that house and not the one Abigail is building.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
almost there!
Last night I finished putting the top of the girls' quilt together. Now "all" I have to do is sew on the borders (one 2.5 inch of the dark pink, one 3.5 inch of the yellow, and a 5.5 inch of the flowers), either quilt it myself or pay someone to do it, and then put on the binding. Still a lot of work to go, but I feel like I've accomplished a LOT already!! It's really exciting to see it all coming together.
Voila!
I'll give you one guess as to who picked out the general color scheme and has been standing at my elbow during the whole sewing process. And who was absolutely delighted to see this when she woke up this morning.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
following up
I got a very apologetic email back last night, saying that it was certainly not library policy to treat patrons this way and that he was looking into the matter and would get back with me on it soon.
I purposefully didn't mention any names in my email, since I didn't want anyone to get fired, but I really am hoping that this is something that's discussed with the library staff.
On a happier note, last night I went to a couple of Enrichment groups and it was such a refreshing way to end the day to be around the wonderful women in my church. I went to a class on gardening, where I learned all kinds of fascinating and useful information from women decades older than me who have been gardening all their lives, and then I went to another woman's house for a 3-hour quilting session, where she served homemade strawberry ice cream and presented me with the most beautiful baby blanket she'd made for our new baby. I drove home thinking about how grateful I am for the Relief Society, since it allows me to have so many wonderful friends of different ages and learn so much from older women with a vast store of experience. I think normally it would be impossible for me to meet and make friends with women who are in different life stages than I am (read: not at the playground all day), and I am so grateful that I have the chance, through my church, to be able to learn and grow and emulate these wonderful amazing women. I remember being so nervous when we moved here from Utah, thinking about the fact that I wouldn't know anyone and how would I make friends, and realizing the week that we got here that I had built-in friend opportunities in scores because of the women I met at church. I am so grateful for all the friends here who have taught me about everything from making jam to potty-training, from gardening to quilting, from unselfish service to more meaningful scripture study (still working on most of those).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
sad day
b) pretend like this morning never happened or c) write some angry letters.
I took the girls to the library for storytime this morning. After we were finished, I decided to go upstairs to check out a cookbook that I've been wanting to get for some time. We took the elevator up, and then Juliet (of course) decided she wanted to go back down the stairs. I pulled her off the stairs twice, and the second time she started yelling. Loudly, I freely admit. I tried to buckle her into the stroller as fast as I could, so that we could either get moving (usually she settles down once she's in) or run back to the elevator and get out of the library if the screaming didn't stop.
Just as I finished buckling her in, one of the librarians (not one of the ones who knows us by name) came over and said, "If she doesn't quiet down, you'll have to leave." I responded, "I'm going as fast as I can," and she said--in a fairly unpleasant tone--"Well, she's been crying for a long time now." (note: she had been crying for exactly as long as it took me to get her off the stairs, carry her to the stroller, and buckle her in.)
Juliet stopped crying once she was in the stroller, I GRABBED the book off the shelf, and we ran towards the checkout desk as fast as possible. The "go away librarian" passed us, and I said, "You know, I realize that you're trying to make the library a pleasant place for all the patrons, but I felt like you were kind of rude to me--I'm seven months pregnant, I had surgery and I can't really lift her, and I was trying to calm her down as fast as I could."
To which she responded that she could call the director right then and have me banned from the library, and the librarian checking us out joined in with her.
So I drove home in tears, listening to Abigail say, "Those people were really really mean to us," thinking the whole way about how I should have just kept my mouth shut instead of trying to make the point that sometimes even the best-behaved little kids cry and their mothers can't magically make them stop or drag a screaming flailing toddler, a heavy bag of books, a stroller, and another child out in less than thirty seconds. I do realize that a library is supposed to be a quiet place, which is why I'd brought the stroller in the first place in case we needed to make a quick getaway. And it is frustrating to me when people let their kids run around the library the same way they do at the playground, and I totally agree that screaming children should be taken out. Which is what I was trying to do, and which is what I was trying to explain as we were checking out.
So there is my dilemma--I feel like I never want to ever go back to the place where we go at least once or twice a week, where I escape for a night every month or so, where the children's librarian knows my daughters by name and remembers exactly what kind of books they love. And I can't help feeling like somebody just slapped me across the face for being badly behaved, and my children had to stand there and watch someone berating their mother in public.
Monday, May 11, 2009
weekend rundown--living in the garden
This week was Garden Week. We were out there every night this week that it wasn't pouring rain (which sadly, was all too often. One night we planted half the tomatoes, then all ran around like crazies when the rain started PELTING down on us to get tender little plants, sidewalk chalk, tools, seeds, and bags of soil under cover. The kids thought it was awesome when we all tromped inside and dripped muddy water all over everything and ate their promised popsicles sitting in the bathtub).
The girls and I had a couple of fun greenhouse trips early in the week to pick up some seedlings. We had so much fun choosing the plants, and Abigail was really excited to push the plant carts all by herself while I took charge of the Wild Juliet. We came home with 3 eggplants, sixteen tomatoes (several varieties of heirlooms, including a Brandywine and some Early Girls, both of which I'm really excited to try), 12 peppers, and a tomatillo, which we haven't planted before. Lots of fun things and I'm really looking forward to all the new varieties and taste-testing them all. Abigail is mostly just excited for the "tomato cherries," since we planted them all along the edges with the understanding that she can eat as many as she wants, whenever she wants--and she doesn't even have to ask. This is big stuff when you're four. Big wide brown eyes and gleeful smiles.
The girls thought it was really fun to watch the tiller. And Juliet keeps ripping off chive blossoms, which means it perpetually smells like garlic and fresh herbs outside. There are much worse things.
On Saturday, we girded up our loins and hit the dirt at 8:30 am. We worked outside until almost 1:00 pm--the girls were fantastic all morning. We mowed and trimmed the lawn before we even started on the garden, and they just played happily all morning and helped out joyfully whenever we asked them to. Their favorite tasks were moving rocks back and forth (out of the garden, away from the mower, and onto the plastic) and tramping down the paths between the raised beds (that one kept them busy for quite awhile, and it was totally hilarious to watch).
raised beds
So here's what we (mostly meaning Neil) did: dug out individual holes for all the tomatoes and peppers, plus holes for the hills of zucchini, butternut squash, cucumbers, and yellow squash. Then we (Neil) mixed up compost, topsoil, and peat moss and filled each hole with this mixture, then we spread black plastic over everything, cut out holes over the "good dirt," and planted therein. Then for the bush beans, corn, and herbs, we just mixed in some peat moss and compost over the whole bed. We planted all the corn and the first of three or four (we'll see) bean plantings, as well as the first planting of squash, cilantro, and basil. We'll plant the pole beans in the box later when the peas die off. This year we're doing raised beds and black plastic (plus mulch to come) over as much of the garden as we can, in an effort to combat last year's problem of excessive weeds and bad drainage. Plus, I do NOT want to spend as much time weeding as we have in years past, since this pregnancy seems to be prohibiting a lot of the things I can normally do when I'm pregnant (like, oh, WALK without pain. Ten weeks to go!).
**This text isn't a URL, it's just Blogger being ridiculous**
The other thing Abigail is really excited for is her corn patch, which she wanted to plant "all by myself" (we made a measuring stick and she proceeded to methodically plant). I really hope that all her plants do well, because she's so excited for them all and she was SO disappointed when we had to replant some peas earlier!
Here's a few shots of the current state of things--everything seems to be growing by leaps and bounds, literally overnight. The first picture in this set of four is from Monday; the next two are from Saturday, and the last one is from today.
We also had fun experimenting with a new pizza dough recipe (from last month's Martha Stewart Living, and it was INCREDIBLE--from Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix, if I remember correctly. We made two 10-inch pizzas and gobbled them right up (the girls ate more than I did, I think!) It's our new official favorite, and Neil has requested that Saturday be pizza night throughout the summer--I'm already plotting ways to use the arugula that's taking off in the garden, since I felt like the toppings didn't live up to the crust) and wound up the day with a bonfire and s'mores. It was a perfect day. Witness Juliet's s'mores face.
And Mother's Day was lovely as well--I really do like speaking in church, so that was pretty enjoyable, and then I spent a lot of the day quilting (thank you, Neil!!) and finished up my last 3 squares, so I am DONE with those, and we also had a great dinner (salad with feta, toasted almonds, bacon, and tomatoes; pasta with roasted tomatoes and peppers, and hot-from-the-oven crusty bread). And Neil made chocolate-chip cookies while I was sewing after the kids were in bed. Love that man.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
being a mother
Four of the kids responded, "My mommy makes cookies!"
And Abigail said, "My mommy plays toys with me."
That made me so happy. So happy to think that of all the things I do every day, the one that Abigail thinks of as "Mommy does this" is playing with her, not working on the computer or washing dishes or folding laundry.
I don't think I could have asked for a better Mother's Day than the one I had today.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
grey skies are bringin' me down
It's been an exhausting couple of days: everything I've been putting off the last few weeks of the semester got scheduled all at once. We moved Juliet into a big girl bed AND into Abigail's room, so we've all been a little short on sleep around here (naptime is going well, but bedtime is an hour-long giggle session. Plus they keep waking up really early and coming in and jumping on our bed). I'm still not really sure what to do with Abigail now during Juliet's nap; yesterday she fell asleep on the floor, but most days she goes and goes so that we're both totally exhausted by the time Jules is awake.
I've been to the dentist, the "baby doctor," the DMV (new license, title, and registration), the greenhouse (twice), visiting teaching, etc over the last three days. We've tilled the garden and my kitchen is full of seedlings that need to go in NOW! but it's still raining. Whew. Exhausted. Tired. Relieved that you're not supposed to smile in your driver's license picture because my eyes were so swollen from crying (general fatigue and overwhelmed-ness) that they puffed up oddly whenever I smiled. It was a looong day yesterday, and I was so grateful when Neil sent me to bed right after dinner. I realized yesterday (lying awake sleepless at night because of my post-dinner nap) that out of the last 31 months, I have been pregnant or nursing for all but six weeks. No wonder I'm tired!
On the bright side, Abigail keeps saying funny things that Neil keeps reminding me to blog about. So here are a few of the ones that I remember:
- during family scripture study: "Mommy, did you know that 'slay' is just a fancy way of saying 'kill'? (can you tell who LOVES Fancy Nancy)
- Watching me open a Mother's Day card: "I think when I grow up and I'm a mommy, you can give me all of your money for Mother's Day."
- to Neil at dinner: "When I grow up, I'm going to send my kids to bed and then have parties every night when they're asleep. I know you watch movies and eat treats when I'm in bed."
- after a long windy rainy day that de-petaled all the tulips, she prayed that the tulips would be resurrected because she missed them.
Today I'm glad that the sun is trying to shine again and that the girls each have a friend over. We need friends today.
ps--anybody recognize the song lyrics that the post title is from? hint: my favorite singer ever and one of my top five favorite songs.
Monday, May 04, 2009
why my grandparents are awesome
So I hope you don't mind, G'ma, if I share a little of your latest letter on here (if you do, then you can tell me and I'll take the post down later. :-) I just really wanted to share what fun and interesting people they are and the wonderful things that they fill their time with.
"We have been fairly busy here as my little memoir class (18 people this time) has started at the library, and it coincides with our Adventure in Learning, which is two days later but we need stories for that too. Thankfully I have all eight lessons written out for my class. I sometimes ad lib as I go along but at least I have an outline for each class. We will miss next week as we will be at the temple four days...
Papa has been busy lately. He is collecting buckets from restaurants and grocery stores to use for container gardening. He has gotten sponsorship from Rotary CLub who will pay for tomatoes, top soil, and fertilizers for container gardening. He hopes to get Meijers to pay for all that stuff or at least help and he hopes to get missionaries help with the planting. The containers with plants will go to the OutReach center to be given to needy people and all they have to do is water them and watch the tomatoes pop out! Isn't that a great idea?? And he has been working hard collecting buckets, large white ones which now fill one of our garages and the car is parked in the lot!"
I love this--I love them, and I love how both of them are actively pursuing activities that enable them to help other people better their lives. Thank you both for being such great examples to me!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
lots of things
don't you just love spring? and i am so happy that I have all these chives (soon to blossom) to lure the bees. as if the dandelions weren't enough.
Last night when we were praying Neil asked that we could be very productive today. I guess he really meant it, because before I was even awake this morning he had the kids dressed and in the car ready to go to the hardware store (which meant I got to have a leisurely half-hour to myself while I baked some blueberry muffins for breakfast and enjoyed the quiet and the sunlight. And the realization that my last day of class was YESTERDAY!!!).
Then he came home and promptly started installing the new dishwasher that we bought last night (after a year or so of debate! hurray, so excited for dishes that are actually dry, since our old dishwasher a) stopped draining and b) stopped dispensing soap reliably. We contemplated just washing everything by hand, like we used to do back at BYU, but...it was worth it to spend the $$. And I am super excited because we got a tall tub Energy Star, so I can both wash lots of dishes and feel good about my energy usage). Anyway.
So while Neil installed the dishwasher, I bundled up the kids again after breakfast and we went on a baby clothes hunt, which was very successful (Craigslist, my friends, Craigslist). Then we went to the hardware store again to get a replacement piece of dishwasher tubing (the old one had a leak), and then out to the backyard to dig around in the mud/garden.
This is what our box looked like this morning (we put up the trellises later, so now it looks different). As you can see, the peas had quite a few skips, so we replanted those last week and now there are peas popping up all over the place. We put in some more fertilizer today and planted two squares of bush beans (sort of experimental; it may still be too cold) and a couple more of spinach and lettuce. All in all, I'm really happy with the container garden thus far, especially since it is STILL too wet to till the main garden (see the top of the picture). Our plans are to till that this week, if it dries out, and get the first planting in there next weekend if it stays warm enough.
The other thing I really like is how tidy the square foot garden looks. It's very pleasing to the eye and if you have a mathematical or list-making turn of mind, incredibly satisfying to see these tiny little regimented rows in all different colors.
We're planning to dig our first radishes and green onions this week. I'm so excited!
More excitement--every single lily, purple coneflower, and lemon thyme plant that I transplanted from a friend's garden last year have all come up. They look lovely, except I just planted them right in the yard (she wanted them gone right away and I didn't have time to dig a bed before they would have dried out) so there's no picture because I still haven't gone out with scissors to trim all the scraggly grass around them. But it smells divine, and I'm excited for the middle of the summer when the view out my bedroom window is 6-foot high lilies and coneflower, and the patio smells like lemons from the kids running over the thyme all the time (heh heh).
We also had a pretty decent show from the tulips, daffodils, and crocus that we planted last fall. It's a good thing we enjoyed them a lot in the last few weeks, because they got Juliet-ed and now we have lovely piles of petals everywhere. The girls have done such a good job of staying out of the flower beds the last couple of weeks, and so now that the flowers are starting to die back a bit, when I saw Juliet carefully filling the tulip cups with tiny rocks and Abigail collecting each fallen petal (from Juliet's rock-filling) to make little fairy beds, I didn't have the heart to scold them. Plus they had filled my sandals (which I left outside while I was making a picnic lunch) with a totally gorgeous array of petals, and they were so proud and anxious for me to see their lovely little creation "just for you, Mommy!"
We have a million dandelions. The girls love them.