Nauvoo & friends

Even though I am his mother, I feel confident in saying that this is one of the most adorable little man-baby photos ever.  You agree? Yes?  Good.

This weekend both of the girls had fall break, so Neil worked like crazy for a few weeks and then we all took off very early on Saturday morning and drove to Nauvoo.  We hadn't been there since Isaac was a baby so it was fun to go back with everyone a couple of years older. 

Neil and I were both able to do an endowment session in the temple while we were there.  When my mother-in-law visited us just after Luke was born, I asked her if she had any family temple work that I could do.  She gave me several names and it has been really interesting to see how my temple experience has changed in doing family file names, even though I am "just" related to these people by marriage rather than as a direct blood relative.  At the very end of the session on Friday, I was one of the last people left in the ordinance rooms and I just closed my eyes and sat there and listened, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes while I thought about all the people who were having their temple work done that day.  Afterwards I sat in the celestial room for awhile and felt like I had some real answers to prayers and questions that have been troubling me.  I love how peaceful and assured I feel whenever I visit the temple.

We spent the night in Nauvoo (hurray for the Hotel Nauvoo dinner buffet!!  Seriously so good.  I could have eaten so much more deliciousness, but alas, our children were impatient and I knocked my glass into Luke's lap [note:  he is NOT a fan of ice!]) and so we left for our little log cabin, where we proceeded to spend the next three hours getting the children to sleep.  Too exciting and I can't really blame them.  I finally put Isaac in his car seat and we drove down by the Mississippi River and he fell asleep almost instantly while I watched the starlight sparkle over the river.  (Then I lay awake in our cabin that night listening to five other people breathing very loudly very close to me and thought about how grateful I am for our house.)

A few more pictures from the Pioneer Pastimes area at Nauvoo (genius.  Why have we never visited this particular site before?  The kids LOVED it).

I did not master the art of walking on stilts, but I sure had fun!

On our way home, we spent the night at the home of some dear friends who moved away three months ago--they were kind enough to let us descend on them (there are a lot of us now, you know?).  Our children have been talking about this for weeks and it was almost more excitement than they could stand!  We had a lovely time and I hope we can do it again soon.  It was so fun to watch all the kids playing together and to cuddle my sweet Kate during church today (baby Jess is missing from this photo, as he was having a diaper change.  Weren't they brave to host us when that meant 8 kids?!).

Today

Today I have loved this day.  Nothing too special; just grocery shopping and reading stories and folding laundry and the usual.  But today it was just really nice. 

Today I had time to sit at the kitchen table with Abigail after school and chat with her for a good half hour about her day while we ate Honeycrisp apples and baby carrots.  We talked about the way waves tumble and polish pebbles and stones until all the rough edges are worn away.  We talked about the sea creatures described in the Magic Treehouse research guides (warning:  the research guides are kind of addictive.  I am now a repository of random trivia).  We talked about the new girl in her class from Japan and the differences in the alphabets used around the world. 

Today Juliet and I lay on our stomachs looking at a map of the world and talking about scaled distances and map-making and where the elephants lived.  We read about octopi and Wodney Wat and those never-ending Berenstein Bears.  We discussed our favorite composers (today mine was Beethoven and Juliet went for Mozart). 

Today Isaac and I read stories together while he balanced on top of a mountain of pillows.  We played the game he loves where I pretend like I'm so tired that I can't help falling down on top of him and he laughs like crazy.  We ate kettle corn and folded washcloths (Isaac just learned how to do this a few weeks ago and he is SO proud of his new ability.

Today I tickled Luke's toes and he laughed.  I pretended to eat his toes and he laughed.  I kissed his cheeks 1000 times and he laughed.  I made funny faces and he laughed.  I sang him "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story and he laughed and gurgled and warbled along.

Tonight when Abigail came home from ballet we had family home evening about the Good Samaritan in our cozy pumpkin-soup scented house.  Abigail read the verses while Isaac ran around, Juliet acted the part of the man from Jericho, and Neil and I played the parts of the priest, the Levite, the Good Samaritan, and the innkeeper.  After FHE I curled up on the couch with the kids and we read one of my very favorite books from childhood, Sarah Morton's Day. 

Nothing too exciting or extraordinary, but just a lovely day doing the things we always do.

Luke, hikes, and being a good mom

First of all, thank you all for your wonderful comments on the last post.  You are awesome.  Seriously, thank you so much.

Secondly, Luke is now five months old (as of, um, a week ago.  It's been a long week).  He's doing better as far as the croup goes, but he is still wheezing and rattling and sounding not like baby lungs should sound.   Poor little man.  Other than that, he is rolling around like mad, not sleeping nearly/soundly as I wish he would (my goal is to have him on a 4-hour schedule by six months; I am really hoping that helps!!), and smiling for us but never for the camera.  He is a cuddly little baby and loves to snuggle, which is delightful, especially as he is still super chubby (when he went in for his sick visit last week he was 19 lbs 7 oz) and generally delicious.

This weekend felt really busy.  I'm not sure why.  Highlights:  canning plums (first time I've done this; we'll see how they turn out), a family hike, and watching the 1982 The Scarlet Pimpernel with Neil.  One of my all-time favorite movies, and he'd never seen it all the way through--how did that happen?  Seriously, a great movie. 

We were not very far into our hike before Juliet started just sitting down and saying that she could walk no further.  Finally after we had tried every trick in our playbook to get her to go another mile, Neil stepped up and became Daddy Hero Man.

 

 So you know how every time you have a baby, you get all kinds of weird stuff in the mail for about a year afterward?  I was flipping through one of the magazines yesterday that always seems to feature articles that are totally at odds with my parenting style, and I came across one interview with a "celebrity" mother (who I had never heard of) who was talking about how easy it is to be a good mom.  (This woman has one child--an eighteen-month-old daughter, which in my opinion is the easiest age thus far--and just sold her endorsed line of whatevers for $120 million, but she still has her personal assistant hunt down great deals for her.  So, you know, good representative of a typical mother.)

So I read this article and I was torn between laughter and irritation.  I do not think it's easy to be a good mother.  I think it's worthwhile--and it's what I try to do--but I think it's the hardest thing I've ever done.  (This day is right up there already and we haven't even hit lunch yet.)

Neil and I were talking on Sunday night about the last few years and how things have been going for both of us.  We both agreed that it would have been much easier and probably significantly more "successful," in worldly terms, if I was the one working and he was the one staying home.  And we both agreed immediately that the last few years have been really hard for both of us, and that we would not have experienced the growth we each needed if we had taken the path that made sense, so to speak.  I'm really grateful for the council of wise church leaders that has helped us in making these choices, even though it means I'm typing this right now wearing my husband's pajama pants and an ancient pink sweatshirt and my hems are wet with the splashes from Luke's bath. 

Some days I look around and I think "I cannot BELIEVE I am doing this.  I cannot BELIEVE I am not going insane.  And nobody knows!  Nobody knows the heroic thing I am doing in just getting through this day!  In just keeping everyone fed!  Except another mother.  She knows."

So--all of you mothers out there--I salute you.  You are awesome!  You are doing amazing, hard, incredible things, and nobody will notice the things you've done unless you leave them undone.  Except for us mothers.  We know.  :-) 

trolls

Several years ago someone anonymously commented on one of my posts, "If you eat such healthy food, why are your kids so sick all the time?"

I cannot tell you how much that comment cut me.  I know that "big" bloggers get much worse, but for some reason, I really internalized this.  I thought about responding that I can control my children's diet so that they don't get diabetes, but I can't do the same for colds; that they have a genetic predisposition on both sides to lung weakness; that they come in contact with lots of other little kids and this is just how childhood goes...but in the end I just deleted the comment (and then lay awake at night agonizing over it),

In the intervening years, whenever my children are sick, that just haunts me.  No matter how much I know intellectually that my worth as a mother does not depend on whether my children are more or less healthy than others, emotionally and viscerally I feel horribly guilty, and that comment echoes in my mind. 

Today I was holding Luke (who has croup) while he coughed and choked and struggled for breath.  I felt like the worst mother in the world, like this is my fault.  When he coughed so much that he finally just started throwing up, I started crying while I cleaned everything up, because I felt like I should have prevented it.

I hope at some point I can get over this single little snarky comment, but it certainly won't be today. 

Way beyond cornfields

So we live in quite the agricultural state.  Most of the time I love it--we have awesome produce, no air pollution, beautiful trees and a wonderful growing climate--but there are some times that I really miss hiking in the mountains.

But guess what!!  Our agricultural state has some beautiful, beautiful, beautiful terrain.  Today we spent most of the day hiking around and had a fantastic time.  One of the best parts was the hour-long drive there--the trees were just beautiful.  Absolutely gorgeous.

The first hike we went on today was described in the park's map as "rugged/very rugged" and was described as the most uneven terrain in the park.  It started out as a gentle stroll through the woods, then some fun railroad-tie type stairs down a hill, then some SERIOUS stairs.  SO many stairs, and really steep!!  Neil and I were both not huge fans of the stairs since we were each carrying one of the boys; Juliet and Abigail just trudged right along (and as you can see in the pictures where we're coming back up the stairs, they just went up using their hands.  They were that steep!)



The stairs offloaded us directly into the ravine's streambed, and we then hiked upstream over fallen logs, rock piles, rock faces, rocks in water, water pools...you get the idea.  It was very fun, very wet, very muddy, and very keep-your-attention-on-where-you're-walking.  I was honestly amazed that none of us took a header off a rock--there were a couple of times where I was terrified that I was going to fall face-first and smash Luke, especially since every time I changed my footing he wiggled around and my center of gravity would totally change!  I didn't take any pictures during this part because I needed both hands almost every second (and after I dropped the camera in the stream I figured I should just put it away).  We hiked up the stream to a waterfall and I sat on some boulders to feed Luke while everyone else ran around and fell in the mud and the stream.  Abigail clambered around the boulders and said she saw a fast way down and we were like, oh, no, honey, we have to go back the way we came--but she was right!!!  We went back down the stream and up the hundreds (I exaggerate not) of stairs only to see the people who had passed us while we were sitting on the boulders--and they had picked up the map that had fallen out of my pocket.  So we hiked an extra mile back down the streambed and up the stairs instead of the tenth of a mile easy walking back to the trailhead.  Oh well.  Abigail didn't gloat too much.  :-)

In any event, I honestly thought this was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.  Observe:

Is this seriously not so beautiful?  Don't you all want to come visit us now?!

And last but not least, this is not the greatest photo ever, but it is the only photo I have of all six of us.  Ever.  And therefore I love it, glare, shadows, grimaces, Luke's weird mohawk-looking hair, and all.
 

the last week in pictures

So many things to blog about, so little time.  We've had a lovely week.  Here are lots of pictures and a few words (because it is almost 10 pm on Friday night, and my husband is waiting patiently for me to finish up!)

Above:  tonight we were hoping to go camping, depending on the weather.  We dithered and fretted about whether Luke would wake up 20-25 times during the night (like he did Wednesday) or six times (like he did Thursday).  When we finally decided to take the plunge, there were no desirable sites to be had in the state, so we lit a fire in the backyard, had a cookout, a rousing game of family soccer, a marshmallow roast, and watched the stars come out and pointed out the constellations (and Isaac called the stars "sky sparks," which I think is the most adorable thing ever).  We have big plans tomorrow to have a "camping breakfast" and then go for a hike.

Below:  the kids have always loved playing in the laundry baskets, but it's even better when Daddy is around to give them rides to bed.  And as you'll see in the next photo, the best part is the actual putting-to-bed.

Luke is my darling cute baby.  Good thing because he is CRAZY at night.  He is crying as I type this--Neil is giving him his paci for the third time in fifteen minutes.  I promise you that we do (sort of) know what we're doing with babies...

Two shots of Neil and Luke--above during Conference on Sunday, below during our firepit festivities tonight.

More photos of the kids tonight--Abigail and Juliet were burying a treasure in the garden (an almond can full of cherry tomatoes) and I was lying under the swingset tickling Isaac's tummy every time he soared over me.  While I was on the grass under the swingset, I noticed the following around Isaac's swing:  one banana peel, part of a pumpkin muffin, a cherry tomato, and four almonds.  None of which I remember giving him, and I just mowed the lawn a couple of days ago.  The kid is a crazy forager--he hardly ever asks for food but we always come into the kitchen to find him munching on something (we finally moved all the fruit to the top of the 'fridge but I don't think it will be long before he's up there too).

Yesterday Neil had to work late again, so Abigail helped me to pack up a picnic dinner and we went to the park.  We have a little star chart for Abigail's school days--she had a really hard time adjusting at first to the longer day--and she'd picked a picnic at the playground as one of her doing-her-best rewards, and so she was delighted to cash it in.  Fun little kid--she's really doing so much better.  I was really stressed the first month or so about how everything was going and wondering if I should pull her out, etc., etc., but today she came home and we spent an hour quizzing each other on math problems, and she was asking me to write her pages and pages of math problems.  It's great to see her taking off with math this year like she did with reading last year--her little mind is just exploding with knowledge and it is so fun just to talk with her these days!!

And some more Luke shots...

So...this is the first time Isaac has ever willingly worn a costume.  Ever.  I was so excited!!!  He actually put it on by himself and then asked for my help to snap it up.  Hurray!! Just in time for Halloween.  

And last but not least, Luke started solids this week.  I've noticed that he is sleeping better already.  Keeping my fingers crossed that this keeps up!! Something else about Luke (which probably prevents him from sleeping well):  he is by far, far, far my most active baby.  If you lay him down he immediately rolls over, and then over again, or he'll just start wiggling his arms and legs like CRAZY (Isaac always says, "Lukey marching!") and it's like this little jitterbug that can't stay still.  My own personal perpetual motion machine--he even managed to roll over in the bouncy seat the other day while I was transferring the flour from the grain mill to my flour bins.  So no more bouncy seat, which is going to be super fun because he HATES being on the floor without someone playing with him--probably because he just rolls and rolls until he starts whacking his head on something.  Crazy Luke!  Crazy crazy crazy Luke!  CRAZY LUKE!!!!  (this is the accumulated effects of too many nights on too little sleep talking here.)

A couple of funnies I jotted down--Abigail was reading my blog one day (which she LOVES to do) and found a post titled "A letter to you-know-who" (to Neil) and was like, "MOM!  Did you write a letter to...to..Voldemort?!!"

And we were playing pioneers one day, and I sent Juliet out to get some buffalo chips for our pretend fire, and she came back with a huge stuffed elephant and said, "Mommy, I found a still-alive buffalo, and I will tie a bucket to his backside so I don't have to keep collecting buffalo chips--he will just put them in the bucket and then when he is done I will cut him up and eat him."