Surgery 2019

This is what heroism looks like--a woman who has had DIEP flap surgery only a few days before, standing upright to light the candles on her daughter's birthday cake because she is SO determined to be present for as much as she can. 

Freaking rockstar. 

I felt really lucky that I was able to see Ruth in bits and pieces through her cancer treatments, through chemo, radiation, and then surgery recovery. 

When I was there for radiation we got to tour their new apartment before they moved in. and it was awesome to see it in all its glory a few months later! I was really glad that Ruth had such a light-filled place to rest and recover and that she was not in the same apartment as she was in for chemo and radiation--it was just good to have a change and be able to literally move on from an extraordinarily difficult time and place. 

At night before I fell asleep I loved looking out the windows and watching the boats on the Hudson (and seeing the Statue of Liberty!). 

Pretty good sunrises too. 

Ruth made such incredible efforts to make every minute that she was upright count 200%. She could barely stand up straight from the pull of the stitches (basically this surgery takes a giant panel from your abdomen/waist and then uses it for breast reconstruction) but she was determined to do whatever she could. 

So we walked a few blocks to pick the kids up from school, and we went to back-to-school night for Evelyn's class so that Ruth could know the teachers and the classroom where Evelyn would be learning that year. 

I got to take Evelyn to soccer practices while Ruth rested...

And Jordan and I worked on getting Evelyn's birthday cake to Ruth's VERY exacting standards. I think we did a pretty good job! 

Evelyn had a few friends over for a camping-themed birthday party. It was really fun and I was also super super glad that I was there so that Ruth could just relax through it. 

Got in some hill repeats on the Brooklyn Bridge (over and over and over! That thing is a good workout!)

I timed my photos so that I was looking forward to taking them at the end of the mile repeats, haha. 

It was a great weekend to be there and help out and celebrate sweet Evelyn!

 

Chemo

A couple of days after school started, I flew to NYC to help Ruth and her family after Ruth's fourth round of chemo. This was a pretty intense weekend and stirred up a lot of emotions for me as I watched both the pain that Ruth was enduring and the love that her family had for her as they were caring for it through it all.


On my first day there, I caught a 6 am flight into NYC and overlapped with my dad for a few hours, so the four of us went to brunch together. It was so good to see my dad and to have some fun time with Ruth while she was still feeling good! 


That afternoon Ruth was really insistent that I go see the 9/11 museum. I kind of demurred because I didn't want to leave her, but she finally told me to JUST GO so that she could take a nap. Their apartment was a block from the Hudson in Battery Park City and just a couple minutes walk from One World Trade Center, so I headed over and spent a few hours at the museum before the kids got home. 


It was such an incredible experience. This was in 2018 so we were halfway through Trump's presidency, and America was becoming increasingly divided. I can't really capture in words how it felt to be in that silent museum and to feel so at one with all the people around me--we all remembered what it felt like to be totally united on that day in 2001. 

If you ever get a chance to go to the 9/11 museum, absolutely go. It was a very sacred and humbling experience. 

This is the memorial outside the museum--staff put a flower on each name on the anniversary of their birthdays. 

When the kids got home that night, we walked over to the yacht basin for awhile. Such a beautiful part of the city (that truly does not feel like NYC at all, tbh). 

The next morning we went to chemo. This was Ruth's last session with the "red devil," and in hindsight turned out to be her hardest post-chemo week. It was really hard to watch her go through this and I was so grateful for the massage therapist who came by about halfway through and started working on her feet and legs. I also felt really emotional that morning when we were waiting downstairs near the lab for her turn to get bloodwork done and I looked around at the other women in the waiting room and saw the toll that various stages of treatment had taken on them, and thought about the months and years in store for Ruth. At one point she asked me to run across the street from the hospital and grab her a bagel (I want to say we were there 4+ hours so lots of time to get hungry!). I went to the bagel place and on my way there was a cathedral with open doors--I ducked in, sat down on the pews, and sobbed like crazyfor three minutes. Then I wiped my face and went back to the hospital. 

When we went home that afternoon, Ruth was exhausted. I helped get her settled and then went for a really quick run to Brooklyn and back over the bridge before the kids got home. 

Ruth spent most of Friday sleeping. Jordan told me that she wouldn't wake up for a few hours, so after I got the kids off to school I decided to head out for a longer run. I had no plans for it and just wanted to explore a little bit, so I headed out along the Hudson Greenway, then ran north. 

I ended up looping through Central Park before I turned around and had a really delightful 14 miles of so many bits of NYC (the Intrepid, Hudson Yards, the Lincoln Center, etc.)

I thought a lot about my last run in Central Park with Ruth the previous December when we were scouting the city to figure out where they wanted to live. 

The kids and I had a bunch of adventures lined up for the weekend. We hit every park within walking distance (where Evelyn explained to me why their wise nanny always brought Caleb's swimsuit and extra clothes...all the splash pads were still going in September!). We went to Whole Foods and bought some goodies to make a few treats for Ruth that weekend (the mists of time have overtaken me here but I distinctly remember we made soft pretzels and chocolate cream pie). And I'm pretty sure we had a movie night all cuddled up together and I KNOW we went to Shake Shack at least twice!! 

Caleb had zero interest in trying the kale once we'd put it into the soup, but he was the best helper in de-stemming it! 

Such fun playgrounds right by their apartment! I *think* this was Teardrop Park? 

Making pretzels together on Saturday afternoon

Scootering around the yacht basin--they were so so fast! 

Sweet little baby Caleb. 

And Ev, master potato peeler! 

It was an intense weekend with a lot of emotions, but I'm so glad I was able to be there!!