Honestly I still can’t really even talk abut this. 

Full of light

I snapped this photo last Saturday just before Neil and I went out to dinner. I love it because it captures just how I feel these days: happy. Content. Full of light and invigorated by life.

It feels a little silly to blog when I have nothing to say other than "I am so much happier than I have been in years and years and years," but that's the truth.

Tonight I was at a flower & garden show with a friend. We had such a good time just wandering around looking at things and chatting. At one point we had stopped by a booth that was making customized orthotics, and we were talking about foot issues and she asked if I was training for anything right now, and I said I'd originally been training for a marathon but had to drop down to the half because of plantar fasciitis. We talked a little more about the time commitment involved in marathon training, and as we were talking I realized something--for the first time in years I am not using running as a method of control. I mean, I ran a marathon with a stress fracture, for crying out loud! And I am so happy and so content in my life right now that running is ancillary to my happiness, and I have not been able to say that since 2007.

Literally.

For so many years I felt like so many things in my life were out of my control--that I was suspended in limbo, unable to progress forward. And in the last five months I have felt absolutely drenched in the outpouring of heaven's blessings--literally, I have felt that there is not room enough to receive all that the Lord has given us. I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing friends that surround us here and the way I have just fallen in love with our life here.

I'm going to write that again because I can't emphasize it enough--I am so, so, so grateful for the friends we are making here. I don't think it is possible to feel more welcomed and loved than I have felt.

And my children are thriving. Really and truly thriving. We had a few very rocky months but we're coming through and things are SO good for everyone.

Neil is loving his new job. He feels valued and appreciated & that his work is measurably contributing to the company's success. Such a blessing after the last twelve years of entirely opposite treatment!!! (I really can't write much about that here but most of you probably know what I want to say.)

And I love our home here so much. Every day I just look around and I'm filled with such gratitude that we live here in this beautiful home and that we are able to do projects that make me love it even more (in the last two weeks we installed new double ovens and a Jenn-Air gas commercial-style gas cooktop and ALL THE HEART EYES).

I love our ward here. I love that my children are excited to go to church and that they are learning so much from so many good people. I love love love my calling and the chance to serve with the amazing women in the presidency and our absolutely fantastic group of Primary workers.

I love the library with its heirloom seed library and its child-sized door for storytime and its endless rows of books that make it double the size of any library I've been in before. I love the arts & design district which is always the high point of my runs and I love the trails along the river and the greenway that is full of friendly runners and the roundabouts that drove me nuts at first but now I can't live without them. I love the Christmas lights that are still up on the fountains and pine trees in the center of the roundabouts. I love that my kids can bike to school or to the playground and that there are always kids out playing tennis in the street or biking or starting up a game of baseball. I love the funny weekly paper that always gives me info about what exciting things are going on. I love the parks with their inventive play structures and free maple sugar bush tours (hello that was the best morning ever!!!). I love the schools that give my kids the opportunity to study violin and foreign languages and STEM and ceramics. I love seeing Isaac's excitement when I pick him up from programming club and Abigail's joy after rocketry club. I love that the soccer fields and baseball fields are both within biking distance from our house. I love the ponds and creeks everywhere--it seems like I can always hear the sound of water. I love the proximity to Costco and Trader Joe's and IKEA and Whole Foods and Hobby Lobby--this is the first time in more than a decade that I can be at a Target in five minutes instead of twenty-five! I love our fantastic piano teacher and all our friendly welcoming dog-walking neighbors that my kids always refer to by name & pet as they walk by: "That's Melvin with the sausage dog." "There's Elaine with the frisky black dog." I love the friends who show up at my door with soup when I have the flu and the friends who drive carpool with me and the friends who worry about class changes for next year with me and the friends who lovingly describe pie recipes while we run at 6 am and the friends who stay at my house until 11 pm and tell me we feel like family and the friends who tell my kids they can't just eat tortilla chips for dinner and the friends who drop by to chat & clean my kitchen while they're at it and the friends who invite me for movie nights and the friends who have us over for dinner because they have lots of kids too and don't mind the crazy and the friends who trade playdates with me and text me for spontaneous double date nights and the friends who just text me to see how the day is going and if I want to meet up at a park.

I love it here.

There were so many dark years in West Lafayette where I honestly did not know if I would survive. If our marriage would survive. If my faith would survive. I clung so desperately to the promises I had felt and the peace I had felt when we originally prayed about our choice to attend Purdue for graduate school. I reminded myself over and over of the words of our stake president in blessings that he gave Neil & me during our last years there--that this was where the Lord wanted us; that he was mindful of our family, and that this was all for a wise purpose in him.

And I am so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude to see that purpose now. To know that had Neil not been forced to switch research topics after six years that this job would not have been possible. That had he not been delayed over and over by equipment failures, by funding losses, by research obstacles, that this field would not have been an area of extreme priority for his current employer. That had his funding continued as we had originally planned he would never have been assigned to the research opportunity that introduced him to his employer; that had his funding not completely run out and he literally worked for almost a year for no salary...this job would never have worked out in the way it did. That we would never have experienced the richness of happiness that we are enjoying now.

And I am so grateful for the fact that during all those years I was able to work. When Neil and I were married, my plan was to go to law school, and as I was proceeding with my application and preparation for the LSAT, it was very very very clear to me that law was not the Lord's plan for me, and that I was supposed to pursue a master's in English instead. I was absolutely ENRAGED by this (I vividly remember throwing everything within reach when I got up from that prayer), but my master's program gave me the training and education that has provided for our family so that we never had to take out student loans. We definitely lived on a student budget (and man did I love ordering furniture for our new home over the last few months!) but we always had enough for our needs and some of our wants. Such tremendous blessings and I can so clearly see the hand of the Lord guiding us here over the last fifteen years.

I just really hope that we get to stay put for awhile. ;-)

Last but not least, I have thought of this talk so, so, so, so, so many times over the last years. Neil and I used to listen to it a lot the first few years that we were married--we would go for a drive up in the mountains and turn this on. So frequently I would be praying and just pleading with the Lord to help me make it through another day and I would hear "I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to be."

So I hope this helps someone else the way it has helped me.

"Could I tell you just a quick story out of my own experience in life? Sixty-odd years ago I was on a farm in Canada. I had purchased the farm from another who had been somewhat careless in keeping it up. I went out one morning and found a currant bush that was at least six feet high. I knew that it was going all to wood. There was no sign of blossom or of fruit. I had had some experience in pruning trees before we left Salt Lake to go to Canada, as my father had a fruit farm. So I got my pruning shears and went to work on that currant bush, and I clipped it and cut it and cut it down until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps.

And as I looked at them, I yielded to an impulse, which I often have, to talk with inanimate things and have them talk to me. It’s a ridiculous habit. It’s one I can’t overcome. As I looked at this little clump of stumps, there seemed to be a tear on each one, and I said, “What’s the matter, currant bush? What are you crying about?”

And I thought I heard that currant bush speak. It seemed to say, “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as large as the fruit tree and the shade tree, and now you have cut me down. And all in the garden will look upon me with contempt and pity. How could you do it? I thought you were the gardener here.”

I thought I heard that from the currant bush. I thought it so much that I answered it.

I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. If I let you go the way you want to go, you will never amount to anything. But someday, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to think back and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”

Ten years passed, and I found myself in Europe. I had made some progress in the First World War in the Canadian army. In fact, I was a field officer, and there was only one man between me and the rank of general, which I had cherished in my heart for years. Then he became a casualty. And the day after, I received a telegram from London from General Turner, who was in charge of all Canadian officers. The telegram said, “Be in my office tomorrow morning at ten o’clock.”

I puffed up. I called my special servant. (We called them “batmen” over there.) I said, “Polish my boots and my buttons. Make me look like a general, because I am going up tomorrow to be appointed.”

He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went to London. I walked into the office of the general. I saluted him smartly, and he replied to my salute as higher officers usually do to juniors—sort of a “Get out of the way, worm.” Then he said, “Sit down, Brown.”

I was deflated. I sat down. And he said, “Brown, you are entitled to this promotion, but I cannot make it. You have qualified and passed the regulations, you have had the experience, and you are entitled to it in every way, but I cannot make this appointment.”

Just then he went into the other room to answer a phone call, and I did what most every officer and man in the army would do under those circumstances: I looked over on his desk to see what my personal history sheet showed. And I saw written on the bottom of that history sheet in large capital letters: “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.”

Now at that time we were hated heartily in Britain, and I knew why he couldn’t make the appointment. Finally he came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.”

I saluted him, less heartily than before, and went out. On my way back to Shorncliffe, 120 kilometers away, I thought every turn of the wheels that clacked across the rails was saying, “You’re a failure. You must go home and be called a coward by those who do not understand.”

And bitterness rose in my heart until I arrived, finally, in my tent, and I rather vigorously threw my cap on the cot, together with my Sam Browne belt. I clenched my fist, and I shook it at heaven, and I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I’ve done everything that I knew how to do to uphold the standards of the Church. I was making such wonderful growth, and now you’ve cut me down. How could you do it?”

And then I heard a voice. It sounded like my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to be. If I let you go the way you want to go, you will never amount to anything. And someday, when you are ripened in life, you are going to shout back across the time and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”

Those words—which I recognize now as my words to the currant bush and that had become God’s word to me—drove me to my knees, where I prayed for forgiveness for my arrogance and my ambition.

As I was praying there, I heard some Mormon boys in an adjoining tent singing the closing number to an M.I.A. session, which I usually attended with them. And I recognized these words, which all of you have memorized:

It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me;
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.
. . .
So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere;
I’ll be what you want me to be.
[“It May Not Be on the Mountain Height,” Hymns,1948, no. 75]

My young friends and brothers and sisters, will you remember that little experience that changed my whole life? Had the Gardener not taken control and done for me what was best for me, or if I had gone the way I wanted to go, I would have returned to Canada as a senior commanding officer of western Canada. I would have raised my family in a barracks. My six daughters would have had little chance to marry in the Church. I myself would probably have gone down and down. I do not know what might have happened, but this I know, and this I say to you and to Him in your presence, looking back over sixty years: “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down.”

--Hugh B Brown, "God Is the Gardener"

Thankful for dear friends

Hurray! I've updated my last blog post with some new photos (this is one of my favorites--a huge thanks, Melanie, for texting them to me!)

Looking at this photo makes me so grateful for good friends. Can you see from that smile just radiating out of my face how crazy happy I was that day? Oh man, some things about grad school are totally awful--I have cried my eyes out SO many times about all the good friends who I love to pieces who have moved away, and in many ways the last two years I've just shut down and stopped trying to make new friends--but I am so, so, so grateful for all the women I love so much who have been sisters of my heart during these long and lonely years. I wish I could gather them all around me right now, but I'm sure grateful for the years I've had them so close and the opportunity that I still have, thanks to the wonders of technology, to still keep in touch. (But what I wouldn't give to have my original date-night swap back, and my visiting teaching companion of 8 years, and my "enrich and renew" buddies, and my 3 fabulous running partners, and my playgroup ladies, and all the friends from our early years that I miss SOOOO much!)

It's darn hard being the only one still here--but at least we've got friends all over the country!!

and another one of my favorites from Melanie...do you like how we're on the same stripes-and-green-scarf wavelength?! Haha! I like how it looks like we sort of coordinated clothes for everyone and visually balanced our poses in this picture while in reality we had to haul half the kids back down the stairs and promise them that we would be SUPER fast and only take one photo, Nathan was completely sodden (see his shirt drying out on our stroller?) and Luke & Emma were two seconds from slumber/meltdown? Oh, good times!!

St. Pat's fun in Chicago

 I've put off writing this post for a week thanks to the "oh, but I need to get pictures from so-and-so..." and I need to just write it now! (Especially since I haven't actually texted anyone to get pictures because it makes such a convenient procrastination excuse...)

One of my bucket-list items is to see the Chicago River dyed green for St. Patrick's Day, and so when my friend Melanie texted me asking if we wanted to meet up for the river-dyeing, I was so thrilled! Melanie and I have been friends for years and years since our newlyweds-at-BYU days (and again while our husbands were in grad school at the same university!), but now that they live 8 hours away, a chance to see them is sure exciting!

And we were super excited. Giddy, really. Can you tell? :-) Very different from our last kid-free trip to Chicago together but we just talked nonstop anyway. :-)

 Nathan wasn't quite as impressed...

Juliet and Leah were so happy to be reunited!!

We arrived in Chicago about forty minutes before the river-dyeing started, so we got to see the whole thing! It was pretty exciting--everyone was decked out in vivid green and pretty inebriated already at 8 am--hah! And there were tons of mounted police everywhere, which most of our kids thought was much more interesting than the actual river.

 In this photo, you can see one of the boats for the Chicago Journeymen Plumbers, who are the ones dumping the dye into the water. It's really cool to watch it diffuse. We were up on the Michigan Avenue bridge where it intersects with Wacker, so we had a great view!

 

After twenty minutes or so we headed towards our friends' hotel and checked out the view from the windows (this was really great because we weren't perpetually trying to keep track of 9 small children in seething crowds!).

And then they checked out and we walked down to Millenium Station and took Metra to the Museum of Science and Industry. Sidenote: I was SO PROUD OF MYSELF because I realized that downtown traffic was going to be an absolute nightmare from the parade & partying and that we would not want to drive to the MOSI (good call since the streets that led to the parking garages where we were both parked ended up being closed most of the morning!). So I figured out the Metra and the stations and all of that good stuff and figured out how to have all the kids ride for free, and I'm happy to report that we navigated the Metra successfully and it was hands-down my kids' favorite part of the trip!

But I didn't get any pictures--mostly because, again, trying to keep 9 small children quiet on the Metra, none of whom wanted to ride downstairs with the daddies & strollers and all of whom wanted to ride upstairs with the mommies. Go figure! But seriously, the kids loved it SO MUCH. Nathan talked about it for days! He was very impressed by the fact that the train went both on top of the ground and under the ground, and we even passed a construction site, so it doesn't get much better than that in Nathan land (we won't talk about the human waste in the 57th St station...).

We hung out at the MOSI for several hours. I didn't take many photos--the lighting there isn't great and the kids were all pretty darn energetic, but here are a few from when they started to run out of steam and actually stayed in one place for long enough to photograph them. :-)

This is my very favorite photo of the entire trip. So classic! He was out of his mind with joy at all the tractors (and notice that he is wearing our friend Noah's coat with nothing under it, since he completely soaked his shirt at the Funzone playplace or whatever that thing is called...the place where the parents collapse exhausted, grateful for a room with only one exit).

We had a great time oohing and aahing over all the exhibits--the chicks, the trains, the avalanche, the U-boat and the planes, the fairy castle and the tractors and all the goodies they pack in there! Then we took the Metra back downtown and stopped by the Bean for a few minutes.

I think this is mid-conversation, but oh well! We seriously were talking nonstop all day. It was so great to be in person instead of just texting or talking on the phone! Can't wait until the next time we get together, and really crossing my fingers that our other dear friends from grad school are with us--I think we need another Thanksgiving-of-wonder-and-glory! These gals have gotten me through so much; I don't know what I would do without their love and influence and wisdom. 

Juliet and Leah were pretty tired by this point...seemed like an appropriate way to enjoy the Bean! (Oh my gosh, I think my kids were SO city-filthy by the end of this day...we used Purell like mad before getting back in the car!)

The pangs of impending separation...

And then we said goodbye to our sweet friends and headed to my sister Mary Beth's apartment, where she had graciously offered to let us descend on her for dinner! She is the best--we were exhausted and dirty and some of us were a wee bit grumpy (cough Nathan cough no nap), but she was the sweetest hostess as always, even with a friend in town visiting her for the weekend!

The kids had a fantastic time with Mary Beth's cat Lynx and rabbit Hazel, and she had the yummiest cheese, artisanal bread, and amazing cured meats waiting for us! Neil and I walked down to a local Thai place a few blocks away and picked up some yummy curries to contribute to the meal, and then Mary Beth dazzled us all with some fabulous pastries from the shop downstairs (you guys, if I lived in her apartment I would weigh about 400 lbs from all of the deliciousness in the surrounding restaurants).

And Mary Beth introduced the kids to their first-ever video games! They were SO enthralled...haha, check out Isaac here!

We enjoyed a couple delightful hours with Mary Beth & her friend, then wended our way homeward, where 6 of us promptly fell asleep and slept all the way home, leaving brave and valiant Neil to get us safely home--tired and dirty but replete with joy!

Wrapped in His love

Today has been one of the worst of days and one of the best of days.

Neil's back has been bothering him for a few weeks. We've tried all kinds of things but when he woke up this morning it was suddenly unbearably awful. He couldn't move and I finally convinced him to stay home and just sit in a hot bath while I called around town and tried to find someone who had a same-day appointment for something that might help. Miraculously, I found an appointment with a massage therapist five minutes from our home. And the appointment wasn't even during naptime!

I drove Neil there and the boys and I walked around a nearby park while we were waiting for him. It was breathtakingly beautiful and wonder of wonders, Luke actually walked with me instead of collapsing to the ground in a heap like he usually does. I felt refreshed and rejuvenated--and bizarrely the boys were also willing to eat the lunch that I'd packed for them, which NEVER happens.

After I picked Neil up, I drove him around campus to take care of some of his projects and collect what he needed to work from home. I got everyone settled at home, checked my email, and saw an email from my pediatrician that Nathan's flu shot was finally in stock--we had just been to her office yesterday and they still had no vaccines for his age, so we spent the next couple of hours yesterday morning going around town trying to find a flu shot for him to no avail. Her email said that they'd just gotten a few vaccines this morning and that she'd thought of me when she saw the text about the vaccines' arrival. I immediately called her office and got an incredibly convenient appointment time that meshed with everything else I had to do this afternoon. Once I had that settled, I decided to go for a run during naptime since everyone else was sleeping and Neil was home. I ran a route that I haven't been able to run in months and had some really good mulling-things-over time. Very restorative and one of the things that I kept thinking very clearly was that I needed to email my department head about my teaching schedule next semester.

When I got home I raced through putting dinner together, hopped in the shower, and then sped off to school to pick up the kids. I came back home, woke Nathan up from his nap and put him in the car. We dropped the girls off at their ceramics class and started towards Nathan's flu shot appointment--we'd only driven a few blocks when the car suddenly filled with smoke. I pulled over and before I could even get the hood up a couple of people had stopped to help. I borrowed one of their cell phones (I do have a really ancient phone but its battery only lasts about an hour so I never carry it) and called Neil at home. Normally I wouldn't have been able to get in touch with him, since he would be in his lab, but today I actually knew where he was! At least six people stopped and asked if I was okay and if there was anything they could do to help in the ten minutes while I was waiting for Neil. Once he got there with the Jeep, I was able to take the boys to Nathan's appointment while Neil checked out the van. By the time we needed to pick the girls up, it had cooled down sufficiently that Neil deemed it safe to drive and we made it almost all the way home before it started smoking again and we transferred everyone to the Jeep.

Once we were home, Neil made a few calls around town and found that this particular part--which he had replaced last week and had basically exploded in the car--was in stock in one local store. When it had gone bad originally, we had to special-order it and wait almost a week for it to arrive. I was able to pick up the part tonight and brought it back in time to have some fun family time before bed (the kids start their fall break tomorrow and I'd promised caramel corn and a showing of the 1949 Legend of Sleepy Hollow).

At some point during all this I posted a Facebook status about how grateful I was for all the silver linings I'd seen in what was actually not a very lovely day, but that I had constantly felt the Lord's love through all of the unexpectedly miraculous occurrences that followed something that was otherwise awful.

When I sat down to start grading after the kids were in bed, I remembered the earlier feeling that I should email my department head. So I did. Minutes later I got back a very kind email saying that he thought I'd known that I had to take a semester off from teaching due to university guidelines about the number of consecutive semesters of employment for my particular job designation, but that he hoped I would be available to teach again next fall.

Friends, you can imagine how devastated I was. I have worked like crazy throughout all of the time we've been in grad school to try to give our family some semblance of a normal life that doesn't reflect seemingly endless higher education--I've wanted us to be able to be free from arguments about money, I've wanted to be able to go on vacations that bind us together as a family, and I've wanted to be able to go to the grocery store and feel like it was okay to spend money on foods that would keep us healthy. We are so fortunate in that we have no car or student loans, but this has been the result of a lot of hard work--and I felt like all of that was just being swept away from me, especially as Neil and I have really been worrying about our budget lately with mounting costs of living while his graduate stipend is still the exact same that it was 8.5 years ago when we started.

So. I cried a lot, and started brainstorming different avenues and trying to figure out what I could do, and then as I was driving out with Neil to go try to bring the van home again I started praying for peace, and I realized what had been happening all day...the Lord knew what was coming. And he knew how devastating it would be for me, and how I would need a lot of faith to get through the impending job search and ensuing weeks and months of major changes for our family.

And so he gave me this day. A day where I saw his hand at every turn of events. A day where I saw tiny miracle after tiny miracle click into place. A day where I felt--over and over and over--like there truly is someone in heaven who cares so deeply and so intensely about the things that are important to me and the things that are difficult to me, no matter how small those challenges are in the grand scheme of things.

And so I know that things will work out. I know without any doubt that whatever will happen will be the best possible outcome for our family, because I absolutely know that the Lord loves us, and he cares, and he is watching out for us. And I am so grateful beyond my ability to express it that he gave me this day so that I could know that in my very soul.

Lucky us!!

When we bought our home, I didn't really look much at the school district, since I figured we'd be gone before our children started school (hah!).  I sort of vaguely knew that it was supposed to be good, but I was only thinking about it in terms of resale value.

Fast forward a few years and my children's elementary school is suddenly SO important in our lives! Fortunately, we have an amazing amazing amazing school with fabulous teachers (it's even a federally recognized Blue Ribbon School).  I cannot even tell you how much I love our elementary school, and how grateful I am for the wonderful teachers who have been so influential in my children's lives.  (Seriously. They are out of this world.)  Did I mention that I love their teachers?

And incidentally, one of the (many) cool things about our school is that it has 2 courtyards that the students regularly use (Abigail's first-grade class often had writer's workshop time out by the lily pond).  The photos in this post are all taken in the outdoor classroom.

The school that my older two children currently attend (Isaac's preschool is equally amazing and I love his teachers dearly, who also taught Juliet, but that's another post) is a really cool melting pot.  Last time I checked, it had students from 45 countries, many of whom are here for a few years while their parents complete graduate degrees.  There are 1060 students in the elementary school (it's the biggest in the district, if I recall correctly), and about 50% of them are in families whose income falls below the federal poverty level (hello, graduate students!).  One thing that's pretty neat is that a lot of the students are either the children of professors or graduate students, so education is a top priority for many of the parents (sadly, that's not always the case, but I've been really impressed by so many of the parents that I've met & worked with in the classrooms).  And they have a fabulous principal--he knows all of the kids by name and enthusiastically greets me by name as well (probably because I have a horrible habit of jamming the copiers so he knows to watch out for me).  Both of my children's classes had lunch with the principal & the vice-principal in the past two weeks, and many times when I've been working in my children's classrooms or attending a classroom event, one or both of the principals is there.  And of course, I am still so amazed and grateful that the school has dedicated high-ability classes that both push the kiddos and make learning fantastically fun (i.e. for their economics unit they've been helping to run the school book fair).



Abigail's class has been studying the moon for the past month or so--she's been keeping a journal every night where she draws & describes the position and appearance of the moon.  One of the atmospheric science professors from the university came in to talk to the class (his son is in her class) about the moon as well, and they wound up the unit with a moon-viewing party for students & families.  (Okay, I don't know about you, but my elementary school experience was not like this at all.  Did I mention that today Juliet attended a play at the university for a class field trip?)

They had a half or dozen or so telescopes set up and focused on the moon--you could just wander up and check it out whenever you felt like it.  It was really neat to use the various telescopes to see particular features.  I seriously loved it!  (Abigail, Isaac, and I were the only ones who went; we didn't stay super long because we wanted to get back to visit with Neil's parents, who were briefly stopping by on their way to begin their second full-time church mission.)

And since all fun parties have fun treats, the teachers had kept going with the moon theme--there were Moon Pies, Milky Ways, and--such a great idea--a whole bunch of sugar cookies that the students had coated with various amounts of frosting to represent the phases of the moon.  

As we were driving home Abigail told me that she will miss her school most of all once we graduate, and I had to agree whole-heartedly.  We have been so, so, so blessed in our time here, and I am and will be eternally grateful to the amazing opportunities and teachers my children have had thus far.

(And this really has nothing to do with the post at all, but I was thinking today about how mature Abigail's getting these days--she made a batch of lemon bars all by herself after school--and tonight I wore a pink velvet blazer that I would never have dared to buy on my own, but she was with me and talked me into it, and then told me several times how much she liked it tonight. So fun to be with this kiddo!)

threads

I must say, it's so fun dressing a little boy. I don't know why, but I really love all the little ties and sweater vests and collared shirts and overalls (not that my girls don't wear their fair share of overalls too). But is he not so darling? I can almost forget the fact that he is refusing to sleep again (more teeth?)




Tonight we're going ice-skating as a family, courtesy of the mechanical engineering graduate student association. There are definitely some perks to the Ph.D. program! I'm really looking forward to it, especially since there's a nice heated building overlooking the rink that will be stocked with pizza and grinders (we'll take a break on our whole foods plant-based diet for an evening, I suppose. although usually they're really good about having tons of veggie burgers and salads at the grad student cookouts, probably because the majority of the students are Asian and Indian and hence primarily vegetarian due to religion or culture).

As a sidenote, since I never really talk about it, I'm so grateful for our opportunities here in graduate school. We love the area so much and I will be so sad when we leave--this has really been a wonderful place and experience for our family. We've been blessed so much during our time here--can we say no student loans!!--and it's just been an amazing opportunity. Although we probably have at least two years left to enjoy it...

Plus, isn't it so cool that my husband is going to be Dr. Neil?

ps--if you haven't yet read yesterday's post on children's books, keep scrolling! it's a good one, I promise!

answers, with some pictures too

What do I want for Christmas? (subtle, Mom)
A food processor. A dehydrator. A Victorio strainer. Cute jewelry. Tongs. A silicone whisk. Yoga classes. More time. A good waterbottle. A Bernina sewing machine. A big thing of maple flavoring because I'm tired of buying a little bottle every month [edit: bought this last weekend]. A short-sleeved button-front sweater that matches everything I currently own. Cute shoes. A really awesome camera. A yellow Le Creuset pitcher. But honestly, now that I've given that list, I really don't need anything, because I'm running out of room. (Maybe yoga classes.)

What's your typical outfit for any given day?
Jeans, a shirt that falls somewhere in between a exercise-worthy T-shirt and a teaching-appropriate Banana Republic buttondown (in other words, something attractive but very washable), my Acorn sheepskin slippers, and a French braid. And right now, I wear my BR red trench coat everywhere--I adore that coat.

What's the most enjoyable book you read this year?
The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss.

If I [my sister Mary Beth] were to come and visit you for a day, what would we do? What if you came to visit me?
We would cook. A lot. Visit the Russian or the Asian grocer. Take the kids to the playground. Stay up late talking and then go for a walk when the stars are out.And if I came to visit you, we would go to Cafe Rio, and then we would go hiking in the mountains. Or I would sit in your carrel and watch you study, which is probably more likely at this point in the semester. :-)

What's one dish you currently want to learn how to cook?
Risotto! But it's hard to find a time when I can just stir something for 30 minutes.

How much time do you typically spend on meal preparation?
Around an hour, but I'm also frequently starting things earlier in the day (like chopping things while the kids eat lunch or mixing up bread right after naptime). Generally I start full-scale dinner prep about forty-five minutes before I want to eat.

What is your favorite way to relax? (Answer cannot be exercise. That is not true relaxing.) :-)
Reading, in my bed, with a little bowl of almonds and Craisins.

What do you want to do when Neil finishes school?
Ideally, we'd like to live somewhere in the West where there are awesome ski resorts, lots of sun, and good gardening weather (we're not asking for much, are we?) Colorado looks nice. As far as jobs go, we're thinking government or private research, but eventually Neil would like to teach. My dream is that we will both end up at BYU as dollar-a-year professors, and we will live in a cabin up Sundance canyon and ski a lot.

How many kids do you want?
When we were first married, we decided we wanted upwards of five. However, after Isaac was born, my doctor gave me a set time frame before I could even start thinking about getting pregnant again and suggested a consultation with general and vascular surgeons beforehand. She also told me I have a good chance of seriously increased complications with subsequent pregnancies...so I guess we'll see.

What do you both do [in terms of employment, I'm guessing?]
The short answer here is that Neil is a doctoral student in mechanical engineering. He works as a teaching assistant for a program centered on engineering in community service, which he loves, because he's teaching undergrads how to solve engineering conundrums. His research area is laser-aided manufacturing, which is the topic for his dissertation--so when I talk about him working in the lab, that's what he's doing.

My teaching is through the university where Neil is doing his doctorate. Up until next semester, I've taught traditional classroom courses in advanced technical and business writing; next semester I'm giving online teaching a whirl. I also do freelance editing and instructional design, which basically means I take a whole bunch of materials about, say, a medical device, and create a voiceover script with visual implementation so that instead of sitting through a PowerPoint presentation on ankle replacement, a surgeon can use an interactive online training module to learn more about how a certain device would change the procedure.

Recipes forthcoming on the recipe blog

Kid food for lunch and snacks
Honestly, most days my kids just eat various raw fruits and veggies for lunch. Any assortment of grapes, peaches, plums, oranges, pears, apples, pomegranates, grapefruits, tomatoes, edamame, sugar snap peas, carrots, corn, beans, celery, etc. I don't think they've ever met a vegetable or fruit they didn't like, including last night's Brussels sprouts. Mostly I just cut up fruits and vegetables until they're full, and whatever they eat on a certain day depends on what I have on hand. Occasionally we will add in cheese or some bread, but mostly it's just the fruit and vegetables. They don't really like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but they do like tuna fish mixed with red onion, craisins, celery, and apples, which they call "mermaid lunch."

For snacks, if we eat crackers it's usually Goldfish, which isn't my favorite option, but it's HFCS-free. Sometimes we will bake pretzels, banana bread, or pumpkin muffins, which Jules is obsessed with. They eat a lot of raisins and craisins. And clementines.

How many boys did you kiss before Neil?
Neil was the eighth, although truth be told, I've probably kissed Isaac more in four and half months than I've kissed Neil in seven years. Which is what happens when you have a baby with ultra-chubby kissable cheeks who will giggle like crazy if you kiss him really fast all over his face. Ooh, I love those cheeks!