one year older

One

Two

Three


Four

it doesn't seem like it's been that long. fortunately, as she reminded me two days ago, no matter how big she is, she will always be my special baby.

there are way worse ways to convalesce

i have a million pictures to post, but since I'm totally worn out from walking around our half-mile loop once, they'll have to wait.

many thanks go to my mom, who spent the whole week here taking care of me. translation: letting me sleep in every morning (and go back to bed for the entire morning when I came home from teaching) and nap in the afternoon, feeding the girls, entertaining them, making sure we have groceries, buying all the supplies for and hosting a little party for Abigail's birthday, keeping the house tidy, ensuring that little people get to soccer practice, chatting with me all day (when I'm actually awake) and facilitating yummy meals. plus staying in touch with Dad and my four sisters and helping everything else run smoothly. oh...and doing her actual business stuff from her laptop.

pretty much my mom rocks (can you tell who taught me to multitask?) I miss her already (but don't worry, Mom, I'm not relapsing!)

love you Mom--wish you were here to picnic with us on the lawn today.

celebrations

Yesterday we colored eggs as a family. We don't really celebrate Easter around here in the bunny-leaves-a-basket fashion (primarily because Neil and I decided we want to separate the religious holiday from the candy festival, although we do eat Peeps and deck the girls out in the gorgeous dresses their great-grandparents send), but oh boy, do we color eggs.



Abigail was absolutely fascinated and did all kinds of crayoned designs on the eggs before they were dipped. Juliet happily colored away, then smashed her eggs vigorously down on the table.

Abigail coolly informed Juliet that all of Juliet's eggs were destined to become "lunch eggs."

It was a really lovely morning. So nice to spend time together as a family (even if I did--literally--have to spend the ENTIRE rest of the day in bed to compensate). So wonderful to laugh with everyone again. Lovely to sit outside and watch them all run around, while I sat on a chair wrapped up in blankets and had time to notice all the little flowers poking up and rejoice in the fact that the daylilies and lemon thyme I transplanted last summer are alive and thriving.

And absolutely delightful to hear Juliet say things like, "Devil egg! Mmmm--yummy!" in her little baby voice.

What can I say? The kid loves deviled eggs.

Of course, poor Neil got stuck with all the cleanup all day long, since I could be up about long enough to help make a really good mess. After dinner I collapsed on the couch and left the poor guy alone with a kitchen full (like really, really, really full) of dishes and a very messy Juliet who required a bath before the dishes were even done, and Neil stopped at one point, looked at me, and said, "Don't ever die. Please, don't die and leave me alone with this."

Have I mentioned lately that husband of mine is my hero? The last couple of weeks have made me fall in love with him all over again.

what I've missed

with Jules last April

This past week has made me realize how much I love my "normal" life. There are always moments or days (or weeks) where I wonder if what I'm doing with my life is what I really want to be doing.

So over the last week, while I've basically been lying in bed staring at the clock willing it to go faster, I've realized that by and large, what I do is an expression of things I love and that make me happy. How much creativity I've built into seemingly routine aspects of my daily life. The number of things I accomplish each day. The extent to which my children's moods are largely a function of how much quality time we spend together.

It's been a hard week. I'm grateful beyond measure to everyone who has made it easier--it's been really, really, really hard to have the girls gone so much, but I've been so grateful that they've been able to play with friends and do crafts and have Easter egg hunts, because right now it's very difficult for me to spend much time with them (case in point: Juliet lifting her arms up to me with tears running down her cheeks when I couldn't pick her up and cuddle her before bed. Or even get out of my own bed without help so that I could cuddle her on the floor). I also didn't realize how much I look forward all day to making dinner until I had wonderful friends doing it for me every day--I'm excited to be able to get back in my kitchen and repay the favor. And I didn't realize how much I take my normal accomplishments for granted until things like making my own bed or carrying a basket of laundry were simply beyond my capacity. Or how much I depend on my daily workout session for not only a physical recharge, but a spiritual or creative one as well, since it's when I do things like read The Ensign or decorating magazines or simply make dreaming plans. It's also been a little bit of a shock to me to realize how grown-up Abigail is in many ways--she's like my little miniature nurse, constantly reminding me what I can and can't do (she totally chewed me out today for wandering back in to watch them eat lunch after I told Neil I'd go lie down) and telling me funny little stories about her day so that I know what she's been doing.

So I'm excited to be me again, although it's still going to be somewhat of a journey (the surgeon told me today that I should be 95% healed in 4-6 weeks). Slowly but surely. Grateful that it wasn't worse. Grateful for all my friends--I was pretty choked up when my visiting teacher told me she had lost track of all the people who had called her offering babysitting or meals. Grateful for this chance to take a step back and realize that the things that I thought were vital to my sanity (like teaching) are nice, but not what really make my days meaningful and worthwhile. Excited for little things like being able to lift Juliet into her carseat, bend over to pick the daffodils in my garden, and join in the afternoon "sunshine dance" with the girls.

I...feel...happy...

Thanks to wonderful friends and a great husband, I've been able to really rest these past few days (and the rest of this week). I've decided there are worse things in life than bedrest, although I am definitely feeling the effects of a lack of exercise--sore, a little stiff, and a tendency to be a bit more grumpy than I usually am. I've been really trying to stretch out the pain pills, since they make me pretty dizzy and nauseated, and the wonderful thing about having my children happily playing at friends' homes is that I can lie still without moving (hence, less pain, and less pills).

But I really miss my girls. I was so excited yesterday when I could sit up for about twenty minutes and read to them. That felt like making progress!

The other thing I notice about the pain medication is it makes me much more emotional. I keep saying things to Neil like, "I love you. So. Much." and holding his face and staring in his eyes. And I also start to cry whenever I think about everything he is doing for me. Then the medicine wears off and I feel a little sheepish and he laughs at me. When I was arranging all the playdates for the girls this week I had to stop between each phone call because I got so weepy over all the really wonderful friends I have who were so willing to help out. And yesterday I spent quite a while writing thank-you notes to all the surgical staff, and I got all teary-eyed again.

Then again, I feel so blessed and loved that I would probably be crying without the narcotics.

here's the skinny

photo from cornair.com and not of me

Here's the quick update (and it probably says a lot that I'm able to sit at the computer, however briefly).

The surgery went well. It was more complicated than initially expected, and they had to do additional work--apparently there was not only a hernia that needed to be repaired, but the round ligament was also damaged, and there was a problem with the veins that the doctor had never seen in 37 years of practice. Eek. Add that to the 1 in 1,000 odds of developing an inguinal hernia while pregnant, and I think you can all consider yourselves safe. In any case, the inflamed, matted, and swollen veins were likely the cause of a lot of the pain I've been experiencing, so hopefully that will go away as I heal. It was an interesting experience being awake through the whole surgery (since they couldn't give me general anesthesia with the pregnancy), and I was really impressed by how the staff went out of their way to treat me as a person rather than just another case. Very comforting to have the nurses rubbing my hands and arms when I was shaking and in shock, or to have the anesthesiologist gently touch my head as he was explaining yet another procedure. It made the whole thing much less terrifying (and it was really terrifying. I don't really want to be awake in the OR ever again. Interesting, certainly, but terrifying).

Other than that--I have a nice lovely incision and I'm just focusing on recovering, so I probably won't make much of an appearance in the blogging world for awhile. Thank you for all of your prayers, telephone calls, and emails. I have felt such an outpouring of love from friends and family this past week that has really touched me and made me feel incredibly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

something I learned today: it's easy for an insurance company to deny approval of a procedure to someone calling from a doctor's office.

it's not so easy for them to deny the client who's crying hysterically.

so glad this mess got sorted out. so very, very, very glad.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf - CREATE

woe is me

well, here's the deal: the round ligament that supports the uterus apparently created itself a rapidly expanding hernia that is getting progressively larger and more dangerous. so I'm scheduled for surgery early Friday morning.

I don't know why, but this is absolutely overwhelming to me. Maybe it was a cumulative effect from the hour and a half I sat waiting to see the surgeon, who was running late, and imagining all sorts of dire possibilities. Maybe it was the news that I wouldn't be able to pick up my children for the next four months, or go for a restorative run. Maybe it's just the fact that I've usually been able to do everything and more I need to do, and now I'm so bewildered and overwhelmed that I literally cannot even think how to entertain the girls for the rest of the day--something that I've been doing day in, day out for the last four years. Maybe it's the fact that I still have five weeks of the semester left--of getting up at 6 am and somehow getting through two hours of lecturing and grading when I get home. Maybe it's just the enormously terrifying prospect of having abdominal surgery when I'm 24 weeks pregnant, and listening to an endless list of adjustments they're going to have to make to ensure the well-being of the baby (high up on that list: no general anesthesia, and possibly nothing after the surgery).

I'm sure everything will seem better tomorrow, but right now about all I'm good for is sitting on the floor with the kids in my lap and crying.

a lot of things running through my mind right now...I saw my obstetrician this morning and she has no idea what's wrong. so I'm seeing a surgeon in an hour. today I'm feeling very grateful for friends--it was so much easier to go to the ER last week or the doctor today secure in the knowledge that the girls were being taken care of and I could focus solely on what the doctor was saying. and especially grateful for my husband, who is being much more solicitous of my health than I ever have been, and who has not reprimanded me once for calling too much or asking him to come home early when he's already overworked but I can't get off the bed, or lying on the couch crying while he takes care of dishes and dinner and baths. and grateful for my children, who remind me daily that whatever I'm going through right now, it's worth it for another baby like them.

grateful, and really hoping and praying that things will be okay and that this can get figured out soon.

trying to look on the sunny side

Today has not been particularly fun. I had a 7:15 A.M. dentist appointment, and I will tell you this--not only do my gums bleed a lot more in pregnancy, but they are a LOT more sensitive. Major ouch. Plus, even though I fell asleep at ten last night, I still feel really tired and I think I'm coming down with something. The lump in my leg is getting bigger (yes, Mom, I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow), and I am really having a hard time following the doctor's instructions to stay off my feet as much as possible. I never realized how busy I was until every movement ached (and unfortunately, sitting down isn't much better, seeing as how I almost passed out at the computer yesterday, and then Abigail thought I was dead when I sort of fell over onto the floor).
I don't want to whine too much (although I do want to whine a little because frankly I REALLY HURT! and I'd like to just get that out there). So...moving on to other unrelated things that are more pleasant, and that are getting written about primarily because I want to remember them and not because they really relate together at all. Nor, as you've probably gathered already, am I in a particularly lucid frame of mind today.

Today Jules and I sat on the couch together and read books for a loooooong time. It was so lovely cuddling up with her and trying to figure out a way to turn each page while she was simultaneously holding my hand. That child will drop just about anything if you promise to read her a story, and I love hearing her tiny little voice saying the words along with me. And rubbing her little warm head and fluffing up the curls.

Speaking of little babies that are rapidly turning into their own fascinating and complex people, I really loved planting the garden with the girls last night. We gave each of them their own packet of peas, and they each planted their own row (Juliet with a lot of direction--and a lot of yelling if the next hole wasn't quite ready for her; Abigail did her entire row all by herself). Juliet wandered off after the peas and spent the rest of the time digging holes and trying to uproot baby plants, but Abigail was absolutely fascinated with the whole process and carefully planted a whole army of onions. I don't know what she planted after that, because that was about the time we discovered that Abigail had set the bag of seeds (all the seeds for the entire garden) down in a puddle and all the packets had soaked through and we had the beginnings of a massive pile of wet mixed seeds. Not. Fun. Lots of little piles of sides all over the kitchen all night, and now we've got ice cube trays full of little baby seeds.

Abigail also had her preschool graduation today--I, of course, forgot my camera, but it was fun to watch nonetheless. One thing I thought was pretty cool is that she knows the entire Pledge of Allegiance--I think I was confused by that until well into first grade.

I really can't think of any way to end this post--too tired--and I promised myself I would only be on the computer for 15 minutes (and I still have more stuff to do) so I think I am done now. Off to run my March budget spreadsheets.

starting the garden

image of square foot gardening via urbangardencasual

This weekend my parents came to visit, and I took no pictures. Oops. But we had a lot of fun anyway.

On Saturday, Neil and my dad built a 4 x 8-foot raised bed and a compost bin--we're going to try the square foot gardening method out this year, and I'm super excited (check out the book if you're seriously considering it--lots of really good info there too). We decided to build one box and fill it with really good soil (a mixture of vermiculite, topsoil, peat moss, and compost) rather than spending the $$ to work over our whole garden. So we'll plant most of the row-style crops in the box, then dig holes and improve the soil within the hole for big spready things like zucchini, tomatoes, etc.

Since I always wish I did a better job actually documenting the garden, this year I'm resolving to try. So here goes! We have some changes this year to accomodate the fact that I won't be able to do as much work as I've done in previous years (the summer Juliet was born I was weeding like mad), and I'm excited for them--more pole crops, wider mulched paths to cut down on weeds, etc.

Tonight we're planting all our early crops (after we have FHE about gardens, of course), which means that into the box goes the following:

• Peas (Sugar Daddy and Super Sugar Snap varietals, 8 squares up trellis)
• Broccoli (4 squares) with onions around the perimeter of each square
• Leeks (3 squares)
• Kale (Red Russian varietal, 1 square)
• Spinach (1st of 4 squares)
• Arugula (1st of 4 squares, Rocket varietal)
• Lettuce (Lolla Rosa and Simpson, both varietals 1 square initial planting)
• Radishes (1st of 2 squares, Crimson Giant varietal)

In another two weeks, I'll plant the second squares of spinach, arugula, lettuce, radishes, and a square of chard (Fordhook Giant), and continue with the consecutive plantings until the squares are full.

What I really like about the square foot method is the way in which you gradually rotate in new crops as you harvest each square. The broccoli/onion squares and leeks squares will stay untouched, but everything else will rotate out. So as we transition into the full-summer garden, we'll start rotating in new plants:

• Pole beans (Blue Lake, 4 squares in two successive plantings)
• Indeterminate (climbing) tomatoes, 4 squares
• Peppers (6 squares)
• Bush beans (Bush Blue Lake, 4 squares)
• Eggplant, 3 squares
• Cilantro, 2 squares in two successive plantings

And then as those get harvested, we'll rotate in the fall crops of cool-weather plants again. Yee-hah!

In the "main garden," we've got plans for more tomatoes (Roma, beefsteak, and cherry--not sure about the varieties yet, but I definitely want at least one Early Girl and I'd like a Brandywine) and peppers. We're also planting 2 hills each of butternut squash (Waltham), cucumbers (Bush Champion), 3 hills of zucchini (Burpee Hybrid) and yellow crookneck (Pic 'n Pic Hybrid). And several more rows of bush beans, about four rows of sweet corn (Early Choice Hybrid), and then the herb patches--more cilantro, a double-wide space of basil, and oregano and chives, which are perennials returning already from last year.

I'm so ready to get going on this--I was loading up my grocery cart today with tomatoes, cukes, romaine, radishes, and cilantro, and thinking about how nice it will be to walk outside and just pick them again.

kitchen saga: finally!!!

When we bought the house in October 2007, the kitchen looked like this:


...and I had torn down the peeling white-on-white wallpaper and the heinous fruit border before I went to bed the night we moved in.

Then four months later we ripped out the tile. And a good chunk of the wall, so we learned how to put up drywall, insert drywall patches, and then re-mud the entire wall to match.


Then we painted it pink (2 coats of primer) and then red (another 3 coats). (Then since we were in the painting groove, we repainted the living room, study, foyer, nursery, and one of the bathrooms. Then we swore off the paint department for a loooong time.)

Then we installed a new faucet, which is pretty much the love of my life. Gooseneck and pull-down, plus Neil also installed a matching soap dispenser. Love that man.

And then we learned about some more about tile, except let me tell you this--it's not nearly as much fun putting it on as it is taking a hammer and whacking it out.



I think we did a pretty dang good job (by "we" I mostly mean "Neil," because I did a lot of hovering out of reach of toxic-to-the-baby fumes and giving annoying instructions like, "I think you're spreading the mastic too thinly," or "You need more grout," or "You missed a spot with the caulk." Fortunately, he was a really good sport).

And voila! The finished product (in garishly colored red---please forgive my poor little camera and its failing color sensitivity).

i should be resting, but...

...I'm trying to figure out if raised beds are the way to go for our garden this year. Anybody had success with this method?

My main motivation is the realization that our soil is going to need SO many amendments to get it in shape that I'd almost rather start from scratch with a really decent mix, all nicely boxed up so it can't erode away, and this would help us with the drainage problems too...plus it would be nice to have something up a little higher so Juliet isn't running through the garden. And I really like the idea of not having to weed the enormously long rows this year, especially since I don't know how much mobility I'll have later this summer anyway. Packing plants into weed seed-free soil sounds soooo appealing (last summer I was weeding for one or two hours every single day). And lastly, as someone obsessed with tidiness, scraggly garden rows drive me mad and I like the thought of neatly framed boxes containing the wilderness.

Cons: it seems silly to put in raised beds when we have a garden plot already dug out. And plus we have to buy all the lumber and things to fill it (although we'll save on a tiller rental and we need soil amendments anyway.

Last year our garden was so disheartening--we had too much rain, too much wind, and too much cold. We worked SO hard and the return was depressing--I really want to change that this year! At the same time, I can't help wondering how much of that was just due to the weather (for instance, we planted 18 tomato plants and didn't have enough to freeze or dry a single tomato, whereas the year before we planted 8 and had tomatoes coming out our ears). So I'm caught in this "should we overhaul the soil/planting methods, or just give it another shot as is?" trap. My primary hesitation with raised beds is that it seems like most raised beds are used for smaller crops--like growing all the ingredients for a salad, whereas we'd like to use our garden to grow enough food for four (five?) people all summer, plus a winter's worth of frozen vegetables. Would they be big enough?

Your thoughts?

update

First of all, thank you so much for your kind comments and prayers--they are much appreciated.

Fortunately, it turns out that it wasn't a blood clot--the good news! The bad news is that every time I stand or sit, the baby is putting so much pressure on the veins in my legs that the blood is pooling and can't get past, so I end up with a walnut-sized painful lump of trapped blood, and then my leg either goes completely numb or starts throbbing with incredible pain (this on top of the really horrendous sciatica I've already had).

The ER doctor told me I can't exercise for at least a week, and possibly for the rest of my pregnancy, depending on what my ob/gyn says. He also said that I should expect this to get much, much worse by the end of the pregnancy. Essentially, the only way to alleviate it is what amounts to bed rest. Which is an intimidating prospect, given how much I depend on that daily run or walk or aerobics class to keep me sane.

I've tried not to complain too much on my blog, because I want to remember this pregnancy as a positive experience, but it has been so much more difficult than the previous two. I don't know if it's just a different pregnancy, or because I'm a few years older, or because it's the third, or a boy, or what, but I was not really prepared for the day-in, day-out nausea and pain.

On the other hand, one thing the ultrasound tech said today really made an impression on me. She asked (like everyone else at the hospital), "This is your first pregnancy, correct?" and I said, "No, it's actually the third," and she stopped, looked at me, and said, "You are blessed."

And I thought, yes, I am blessed. I am very blessed.

scared

So I've had a lump in my leg for the last day or so--and my leg has been going increasingly numb, and now I'm going to the hospital to find out if it's a blood clot. I really really hope I'm just overreacting and everything is normal, but I'm terrified because if it IS a clot and goes to the placenta, I could lose the baby. And so now I'm sitting here at work typing this and trying not to cry while my students are taking a quiz.

Please pray for me.

Dinner party roundup: Indian feast

So amidst all the fun of having Jen here last week, I never posted on the dinner party we hosted a week ago. Sadly, I was so wrapped up in food prep that I never found my camera, so I'll try to get a photo from the wise guest who did remember hers. It was really fun (and a little bit stressful), and I am very glad that I am a list-maker, because I don't think we would have survived the evening without my lists everywhere of what to do when (we chopped all the choppables/gratables eight hours in advance, filled up the 'fridge with little Tupperwares full of various prepped ingredients, then followed my master list of start times when we actually began cooking at 6 pm for the 7:30 pm dinner. The most exciting part was getting the kids to bed while we had a stoveful of sizzling pans).

In any case, it was really fun to have an excuse to use my really nice tablecloths, napkins, and glasses, so just imagine that the table looked lovely, the dishes were delectable, and the conversation was fabulous. I was really grateful that I'd asked one couple to bring the fattoush and another to bring the gulab jamuns, because it was nice to have two less things to worry about (plus I think [hope] it was kind of fun for them to try out a new recipe themselves). I'm excited for the next couple of months; I think we may stick to the ethnic themes for the next couple of rounds and I'm excited to see what countries everyone else picks.

What I did do, however, was post all the recipes I used for the evening over on my cooking blog, so there you can find the how-to for our menu. We served pineapple juice and water for drinks, because I didn't want to overpower the rest of the meal with something more traditionally Indian (plus, you always need lots of water for a dinner like this!) The spice level is medium--the channa masala and tikka masala are fairly mild; the saag has a bit more kick.

Starter:
Fattoush

Main dishes:
Chicken Tikka Masala
Chicken Saag
Masala Channa

Sides:
Hummus
Naan

Dessert:
Gulab Jamuns

we likes math

what Abigail looks like first thing in the morning

Today when we were on a walk, Neil asked if I wanted the bunk bed that he's currently designing (any excuse to use CAD!) to have two levels or three. In the course of the conversation, Abigail decided to contribute her two cents:

"If we have another kid, that will be four. And another one after that will be five. And another one after that will be six. And then if we have six kids, we will need three bunk beds."

You should have seen the joy on Neil's face when he heard that little three-year-old voice pipe up with this. Another Mathlete in the making!! He smiled about it the whole way home.

because i didn't have a camera in hand (and hers is much better)

go here for some recent Abigail and Juliet pics.

delightfulness

image via southportgrocery.com

Yesterday, thanks to my darling selfless husband (who took a day off work and spent it at home with the children), my dear BYU roommate Jen (who flew in Monday for spring break) and I had a most perfect day.

What made it perfect, you ask? Well, for starters we drove up to Chicago, which meant a good five hours of wonderful conversation and general catching-up. Then there was the quick little jaunt through IKEA, wherein I picked up some goodies to perk up my bedroom. And the leisurely stroll through Woodfield Mall and all its glorious tempting stores (I was seriously tempted by the LEGO store, where you could just buy scoops of LEGOS from the bulk bins. Much to Neil's dismay, I resisted. Another time, perhaps).

And then...there was the food. Southport Grocery, to be precise, thanks to a recommendation on design*sponge. Any place whose website features a cheese box (loaded with artisanal cheeses, grapes, baguettes, and nuts) is my kind of restaurant--and it didn't disappoint. I loved that the design was just as lovely as the food--it only seats 24 people, so it has a very intimate feel, plus I loved everything--the deep chocolate and airy blue paint scheme, the pendant lights, the open kitchen, the battered wooden table near the front window, the adorable neighborhood.



And the food--oh my, the food. (want to salivate? browse the menu here.) We started off with a tasting platter of rich nutty hummus, the most delicious piping-hot pita bread I've ever eaten, and a liberal array of crudites. Then I ordered a club sandwich (turkey, Nueske bacon, lettuce, apple, avocado, and an apricot compote that added the perfect finishing note) on challah that came with a side of broccoli-peanut-sunflower seed salad. It was absolutely divine. Jen had a grilled turkey sandwich (flawlessly house-roasted turkey, Russian dressing, muenster cheese, caramelized onions and watercress) with a side of red potato mash (incidentally, the recipe for the mash is posted on their website). Also divine, which I can fully attest to since we switched the second halves of our sandwiches. I took a little menu pamphlet home so I can recreate things until I can visit again.


image via southportgrocery.com

Then we finished up with what the signboard outside the restaurant calls "The King of Cupcakes."


image via southportgrocery.com

Seriously. So. Good. European-style butter, Nielsen Massey pure vanilla extract, plus a swirl of the most delicious buttercream frosting I have ever eaten. I had to restrain myself from licking the wrapper. It was good, good, good, and I am not usually a cupcake person. I could have eaten about five more.

But our perfect day wasn't over yet--we visited our second Anthropologie of the day (cannot get enough of that store), then headed over to the Chicago Art Institute, where we said hello to all our favorites. One of my fond memories is of the summer right after our freshman year at BYU, when Jen flew out to visit me, and we took the train into Chicago and spent the entire day at the Art Institute (this time, we were smart enough not to wear four-inch heels).

And then we wandered over to Millennium Park, took the obligatory pictures at the bean, and drove home, after a quick stop for some Thai food.

A perfect day with nothing to mar it--the food was delicious, the Impressionist exhibit was reopened, everything (weather included) was lovely, and we did not get lost once (no small feat in Chicago). Perfect, perfect, perfect, plus that adorable husband o'mine had orange extract-flavored goodies waiting when we arrived home. I do love that man.

these make me happy

I know I already posted a lot today, but I can't NOT post these. I just love these two girlies.

burnings

Neil and I bought a fire-thingie during our date on Friday night. We've been debating whether or not to dig a firepit in our yard for a long time (pros: cheaper and generally preferred, cons: no convenient spot/possible drawback for future buyers). So we bought one after three years of debate, and then we happily burned all the old documents we've been lugging around for the last six years because I refused to throw them out and have someone steal our identity (yes, a shredder would have worked well too). And then we started burning the old fence that was here when we moved in and was our first rip-it-out project (speaking of projects, I'm thinking of painting the laundry room kelly green--what thinkest thou?)

Anyway. We burned things. And roasted marshmallows.

And then the kids ran around and got a real kick of going down the slide in the dark, and Neil and I toasted each other marshmallows and kissed over by the fire. It was a lovely evening.

(then we did the whole thing all over again, minus the dark [and the kissing] with Jen, who arrived yesterday!)

for G'ma Colleen

Remember the powderpuff you gave the kids last Christmas?

It's kind of a hot commodity around here, especially since it's used as a reward. Denied powderpuff rights the previous night (for a bathtub riot), Abigail took matters into her own hands before she brushed her teeth.

Our little geisha-lookalike has never smelled so fresh in all her life.

woes of the cook with wee children

an archived picture of a meal the kids probably refused to eat

One of my fondest memories of the early years of our marriage is that every Friday night was "date food night." Rather than straining our meager budget by going out for dinner, we would cook up a veritable feast in the kitchen we'd painted sunshine yellow, taking quaint features like tiled counters that extended across exterior doors in stride (it was the oldest and yuckiest apartment we lived in, but we had so many happy times there that I really had a hard time moving out, which was occasioned primarily by the fact that it wasn't safe to have a baby living there).

On our dates these days, we often debate between the pros of going out for dinner (no dishes!!!) and just staying home and cooking up a feast together that we can enjoy without having to bribe, cajole, and threaten to get dinner past two little pairs of tightly-clenched lips. (Since most people with small children have this same scenario most evenings, stay tuned after the weekend for the report on our dinner group: we're hosting an Indian/Middle Eastern extravaganza. On the menu: fattoush, naan, chicken saag, tikka masala, masala channa, and gulab jamuns. I'm excited!)

Case in point: dinners thus far this week.

On Monday I roasted a couple of chicken breasts, sliced them up, and tossed them with romaine, fresh spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots, topped off with a raspberry vinaigrette. I also baked French bread.

Abigail ate four helpings of salad (Neil and I were both shocked. Plus she ate all the leftovers for lunch the next two days--we had to restrain her from a fifth helping) and one piece of bread. Juliet ate all the tomatoes from her salad, the center of two pieces of bread, and tried to throw the rest on the floor.

Tuesday was a really long day. Juliet was feverish all day and only napped for about an hour. Abigail didn't nap at all. Rain poured down outside in sheets. I was tired and headachy myself and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. We order Papa John's for dinner for the first time since March 2007 (I checked MS Money).

Abigail ate a slice and a half, Juliet ate half a slice then tried to throw the rest on the floor. The pizza was gone in less than ten minutes and the kids were in bed an hour later.

On Wednesday, determined to compensate for the greasy caloric load the night before, I carefully picked every single cilantro leaf off an enormous bundle, chopped them all up, and added them to black beans, chopped tomatoes, avocadoes, and cucumbers. I made fresh tortillas and stocked the table with chopped romaine and a cruet full of cilantro-lime dressing (Cafe Rio style). I set the table with our most colorful dishes and called everyone to come partake of the fiesta. Fresh strawberries waited in the wings for dessert.

Abigail ate three bites before categorically refusing to eat any more. Faced with the choice of finishing her dinner and being rewarded with strawberries, or leaving the table right then and going straight to bed, she chose bed. Juliet ate two tortillas, all her tomatoes, and left the beans, avocadoes, and cucumbers lying forlornly on her plate.

I said bad things about cooking all the way through the dishes and post-dinner cleanup. While I wiped off the table, I thought about how my frustrated parents would finally say things like, "That's it! When we go somewhere exciting on vacation, only Mary Beth is coming, because she's the only one who will eat the food!" (and they were probably right, because I remember eating an awful lot of hamburgers while my parents and MB were sampling some tasty treat that I'd gobble down now).

So for dinner tonight, I think I'm just going to throw in the towel on my original meal plan, and make something I know both kids will eat: whole-wheat bread, a variety of cheeses, and an assortment of fresh fruits and vegetables. Somehow, we seem to end up eating this just about every week...it's my way of giving in to the inevitable (plus there are few things better than hot bread smeared with honey).

And I will rejoice in the fact that if my kids won't eat bean wraps, at least they adore Brie. It could be worse!

denial

my twenty-fourth birthday, just before Jules was born. you'd think I'd be excited about wearing my favorite pink shirt again.

I have a real hang-up about when I first start to wear maternity clothes. For some reason, when I was pregnant with Abigail I created the magic number of 25 weeks as the day when I can switch over. I have no idea why, but in my mind the idea of beginning to wear maternity clothes before this day means I'm somehow giving in to some unidentified thing. I don't mind at all if friends start wearing maternity clothes the day they find out they're pregnant--I think nothing of it--but I can't make the same concession for myself. It's not that I don't like being pregnant, because there are many things I love about it (chiefly not having to suck in my stomach at the pool all summer).

So today I finally moved my maternity clothes into my closet. They've been sitting in a box underneath my sewing table for the last three weeks while I got used to the idea of wearing them again. I even wore a maternity shirt two or three times (this is okay in my mind, just not full-fledged everyday wear). I figure it will take me another few weeks to warm up to the idea of maternity clothes again, so looking at them more often will help (plus maybe some of the wrinkles will hang out and I won't have to do as much ironing).

I also grudgingly packed up my size 6 clothes today, which is overdue by oh, about ten weeks. Guess what? I don't even own a pair of maternity jeans. (I did buy my first-ever pair of jean capris when I was pregnant with Juliet).

So here's what I'm wondering now--do I have this weird neurosis because I'm trying to make my pregnancy feel shorter (i.e. if I only wear these clothes for 15 weeks, does that mean that I won't feel like it's dragging on forever?) Is it because I think I'm still fooling people into thinking I'm not expecting (because um, I definitely look pregnant, and probably more so than if I was wearing clothes that actually fit instead of bulky ski sweaters). And why do I resist wearing my admittedly newer and more attractive pregnancy wardrobe?

If you've ever been pregnant, are you one of the embrace-it-wear-maternity-clothes-ASAP types, or are you hanging out with me in the realms of unexplicable defiance?

hurray for Jordan!

A big, huge, enormous congratulations to my brother-in-law Jordan, who was just accepted to BYU's Chinese Flagship Program (funded by the US Department of Defense via the NSEP). One thing that I thought was really neat was that one of the interviewers (from Nanjing University, where he'll also study in addition to BYU) was someone that he helped almost two years ago, when he heard a couple of people speaking Chinese and realized that they were lost and unable to read the bus schedule. I loved the fact that his friendliness and service-oriented nature was something that really impressed the interviewer to the point where she still specifically remembered him and the incident years later. One thing I've noticed about Jordan in the brief time I've known him is that while other people would view something as going out of their way, he just does naturally and doesn't even think twice about it (plus he's one of the friendliest people I've ever met in my entire life).

Anyway, congratulations! We will so come to visit you two in China. :-) Neil is especially excited about this, since after that it's just a hop over to the Philippines!

This morning a feverish Juliet ate my grocery list (yes, you read that right) as I was scanning the grocery store shelves in disbelief (no diapers? are you KIDDING me?)

I think this could be a long Monday.

oh joy!

another month and I'll have this view while I'm at the computer

Miscellaneous things that I'm happy about today:

• new bedding on its way! (and much more economical than the Pottery Barn version)
• I finished two more quilt squares on Wednesday (I suppose I should put up pictures one of these days)
• we kidnapped Neil for an hour and held him hostage at Panda Express today
• Juliet stuffed the front pocket of her overalls with toys--I find that so enchanting
• a half-mile walk this morning where both kids happily walked/ran the entire time
  
• a student telling me this morning I barely even look pregnant (perhaps not quite accurate, but I liked hearing it!)
• today was the first day all semester where I didn't wear snowboots, gloves, and an ankle-length coat--I practically skipped the whole way to the bus stop (and I could actually see where I was walking, so too bad it's daylight savings time on Sunday).
  
• discovering this website yesterday--I printed off about 200 pages this morning
• finally figuring out where I can take a jar of dirt to have the garden soil tested
• it's both warm enough and dry enough that we ran wild all over our swingset yesterday (and if it doesn't rain this afternoon, you bet we'll be out there again after naps today!)
  
• a really big one: a successful phone interview yesterday (since the interviewer is based in the NYC office) resulting in the opportunity to do technical writing for my dad's company--very, very excited about this
• my delightful, delightful, delightful little pair of children. They are so adorable these days with their expressive little faces and their funny sayings and their fascinating ways of looking at the world (although this doesn't quite include Abigail's detailed speculations on what part of the smashed roadside rabbit the carrion birds would eat first. her verdict? "the lips, 'cause they are nice and soft." um...okay).
• we've pretty much decided on a name for this baby: Isaac David. I'm really happy with this--not only do I really like both names, but they're each family names for both of us.
• our natural gas bill dropped $57 this month (finally! if that doesn't mean spring is on its way, I don't know what does!)
  
• it's Friday! I get to see my husband again!
  

what are you excited about today?

spring has sprung (i hope)

Abigail, since she hasn't been featured on here in awhile...

Today it's actually in the fifties--and blustery as a storybook March. Jules and I went for a longish walk this morning with our hair blowing wildly and delighted baby chortles coming from the front of the stroller. So of course, when we picked Abigail up later, the three of us took off again.

It was one of those interludes of sheer transcendent joy--watching both girls laughing delightedly, seeing Juliet vacillate between clutching my hand tightly and running into Abigail's arms, seeing Abigail run far ahead, turn around and run back, then crouch down and hold out her arms for Juliet to run into them. It was absolutely perfect to have all three of us together laughing in sheer joy and the delight of having a family and watching the world turn to spring again.

I love this time of year--it's so easy to be happy. I'm always so excited to plan out our summer, to delight in the idea of replanting the garden and trips to the orchards, to watch for the first tulips and daffodils (I planted masses last fall), and to dream about our new baby.

all year long

Christmas All Year Long
tips courtesy of Juliet, as taught by Abigail




Materials Needed:

• one long Lincoln Log
• one Lincoln Log barrel

1. Insert one end of the Lincoln Log into the barrel.
2. Shake vigorously, making a bell-like noise (use your imagination)
3. Sing loudly as follows," Din-do-beh, din-do-beh" (jingle bells, jingle bells).

I about died laughing when I first heard this. The best part about my little virtuosos--both of them actually have pretty good pitch, so songs are first recognizable for the melody rather than the words. And boy howdy, do they know melodies and inflections (if you've ever heard Abigail sing "Part of Your World," you'll know what I'm talking about).

My current favorite (from both kids) is the yodeling song from The Sound of Music. I sing it a lot, because it's so fun, and it always cracks me up when the kids start doing it spontaneously. Abigail's got the words and melody down pat; Jules just chortles away "yooo-layyyy-eeeeee--ooooh..."

like a little dash of summer

Today I was feeling a little gray and gloomy--a combination of feeling like a wimp at aerobics, since I'm having to scale back my level of exertion these days, shooting sciatic pains from the baby planted firmly against my spine (seriously, if you've never had sciatica, you have no idea how blessed you are. Misery! Incessant misery!), and just wanting it to be spring so that perhaps Juliet's nose faucet would turn to "off" or even "trickle." And trying to count how many more evenings it would be until I had some Neil time, which was a depressing exercise in itself.

So I made some hummus (go here for my [mom's] recipe). Light, airy, practically guilt-free swirls of lemon and garlic deliciousness--I lost count of how many carrots I polished off. Juliet gave up on the carrots and just went to town with her hands (and then later restyled her hair). Abigail (the Philistine!) demanded salad dressing instead.

And suddenly, the world looks happy again. The power of chickpeas! I think I'm going to go find myself a spoon.

ps--speaking of links, the other day I made this for dinner (and fell in love with the orange sauce against my red bowl). It was really good. Next time, I'm going to combine it with my regular tikki masala recipe and I think I'll have a real winner. Oh, and the original recipe says it's too spicy, so I cut the cayenne to 1 t., added in 1 t. of paprika, and it was pretty mild. For us, at least.

pretties

On Saturday we spent a couple of hours strolling around some of the higher-end stores in Indianapolis to get ideas. I love doing this--I look at a million things, decide what I really like, then figure out how to recreate it for less.

One thing that really tempted me to just buy it right then and there: this Pottery Barn duvet. I've been wanting to redo our bedroom forever (it is still unpainted because I can't decide what I want), since it seems to be the repository of the things that I didn't like well enough to put somewhere else in the house. I'm still going back and forth on whether I want to save my pennies for this bedding, or just go for the general aesthetic with more affordable pieces. End goal: something very uncluttered-looking, since if you've spent much time at my house you know I can't stand surfaces with lots of things on them (unless it's my fruit piles). And something serene, and peaceful, and symmetric, since I also can't stand things to be uneven looking (which explains why the study is my favorite place in our house, since it is basically a mirror image of itself with bookcase and art placement).

While I really like things to be simple in the rest of the house, the kitchen is a sort of free-for-all in terms of a mishmash of colors, textures, and patterns in the kitchen. For some reason, it's so much more fun for me to use a whole bunch of colored dishes than to use things that totally match, and it always entrances me to listen to Abigail conducting a quiet little debate with herself over which "color bowl" she wants to use for breakfast from the big stack of Anthropologie latte bowls (speaking of which, I went there to try to get a pink bowl for her birthday, and they were sold out! so sad). I'm definitely not there yet (Neil and I always look longingly at those big stacks of Fiestaware with all their glorious colors whenever we pass a home store), but these happy Crate and Barrel bowls came home with us. I've had so much fun making up excuses to use them all weekend, and I lined them up on the shelf over the sink so I can look at them and smile (but no picture because my camera is out of batteries). Love the colors!

and speaking of colorful kitchens, don't you just love this one? (via design sponge)

some day, my friends, some day. I think one of the best things about living on a student budget is that it forces me to really refine what I like, so hopefully someday I won't want to redecorate every year because I realize my house just isn't me. Hopefully.

and that's enough rhapsodizing for today...time to get back to real life!