weird things that are now normal

• wearing a mask and gloves any time we go anywhere
• going on multiple walks/bike rides a day with everyone in the family
• refusing to take anyone with you when you drive to the grocery store because it's "me time"
• children being SO excited to drive to the grocery store because it's the first time they've been in a car in four weeks
• quarantine beards/haircuts
• the term "social distancing"
• this exact conversation with everyone we see:
  person 1: "How are you doing?"
  person 2: "Hanging in there."
  person 1: "Yep, that's all we can do right now."
  person 2: "Stay healthy!"
  person 1: "And sane!"
  (both parties laugh at the impossibility of that last one)
• ending/beginning every email with "hope you and yours are well!"
• driving to a parking lot, backing up your car, and sitting on the tailgate to yell at your friends who are sitting on their tailgates an appropriately safe distance away (also it's the best part of your week)
• texting friends/neighbors: "headed to the store need anything?"
• wiping a can of Clorox wipes off with...more Clorox wipes
• putting on jeans and someone asks "wow why are you so dressed up?"
• baking something every single day, probably multiple things
• time is all relative and one day you might go to bed at 7 pm and the next day 2 am
• conducting church meetings over Zoom
• date nights with friends over Zoom
• meetings with classmates and teachers over Zoom
• piano lessons via FaceTime
• every single time I shower I think hopefully about when my shower gel is gone and I have an excuse to go to Trader Joe's
• no samples at Costco, this is VERY terrible and was the first sign of everything going bonkers
• watching Tiger King, what even has happened to us
• booking grocery pickup a week out
• cancelling all well-child visits for next few months for kids who don't need booster shots (sorry Isaac) when for the last 15 years you've been there bang on their birthday
• getting really excited bc your pulse oximeter FINALLY shipped after a month of waiting
• sending emails to your kid's class about planning some sort of appropriately social distanced graduation from elementary school even though you have rolled your eyes at every other 5th-grade graduation but dang, this year these kids need something to recognize the fact that they are leaving elementary school without the chance to say goodbye
• having a running text thread with your friends about what you're baking that day
• constant check-ins with friends via text--"how was today? Are you doing okay?" 
• getting up one day at 6 am full of fire and energy and lying in bed until 11 the next day in a sort of existential coma
• obsession with Duolingo
• texting your friends who are in healthcare and being SO relieved when they respond because it means they're still alive 
• toilet paper is like the gold standard
• having this conversation with your mom:
     Mom: "Do you think I'll find any Clorox wipes?"
     Me: "Nah, it's 10:30 am. Way too late. You should've gone to the senior hour."
• last ten things you've ordered from amazon:
• giant tub for holding sourdough starter
• another chromebook
• big pack of earbuds (where do those things go and everyone needs them constantly!)
• fire pit
• vitamin C pills & elderberry pills
• personal portable timer bc so help me if somebody asks Alexa ONE MORE TIME "how many seconds are left on my xyz timer" 
• "coronavirus journals"
• belgian pearled sugar
• a truly excessive number of books
• hodgepodge of "maybe this will keep Matthew busy" things--kinetic sand (yep it will keep him busy; he'll throw it everywhere and then everyone will slip and fall), construction paper, markers, that water-doodly mat thingie
• "touchless delivery" as an option on everything
• everyone is hatching butterflies from caterpillars
• everyone is planting a garden
• everyone has a letterboard with the number of days we've been home (fyi today is #45 and my letterboard has gone from "#stayhome house party" "send help"
• you're getting sick of pajamas
• spending years trying to keep your kids off screens and now it's the only way to do school
• the president telling people to drink Lysol

yeah, that happened.